All Together! M’s Coming!

Madonna has been leading sing-alongs on the road for her “Sticky & Sweet Tour.”

On Oct. 27, in Chicago, she dressed her audience up in her love:

Almost Like a Birthday Wish Come True

Entertainment Weekly has a new cover story on Quantum of Solace hitting stores today.

Daniel Craig. In black and white. OMFG.

Swoon.

Photo: EW.com.

Sex Sells

Kevin Smith, the director of Clerks, Chasing Amy, and Mallrats, has delivered in the obviously titled Zack and Miri Make a Porno the sweetest, most real, hilarious romantic comedy of the year.

That’s right – Kevin Smith…a rom-com.

Controversy over the title aside, you really don’t want to miss this one.

Seth Rogen and the glorious Elizabeth Banks (W.) star as the titular characters, two cash-strapped slackers who, facing eviction, decide to make a porno to make ends meet. (No pun intended.)

The catch is Zack and Miri are friends – he’s a lovable lug; she’s a real girl – and have been nothing but platonic friends for 10 years, so this arrangement complicates things.

Sex does that.

But, you know, sometimes you gotta buck up, have a cookie, and f--- your BFF if you want to keep warm.

Literally: Zack and Miri have bills to pay, and they aren’t going to pay themselves.

And now I’ll say it, even though I shouldn’t have to: Hilarity ensues. The two assemble a crew of actors, brainstorm ideas (hear out all their porn titles and laugh out loud), and finally get to talking about the rules of engagement.

And as they delve deeper into uncharted territory, they experience changes that will affect their friendship forever.

For all its profanity, for all its raunch, Zack and Miri Make a Porno has a really big heart, though.

Written and directed by Smith, you’d think the movie would use the laughs it gets to make up for a lack of depth. You’d think wrong. This one’s downright romantic, and I’m definitely looking forward to seeing it again.

My Rating ***1/2

Photo: MLive.com.

Thank You for Rubbing It in My Face, Satsuki Mitchell

Daniel Craig took his girlfriend, movie producer Satsuki Mitchell, to the premiere of Quantum of Solace in London last night.

Click here to see another photo of the happy couple.

Whatever.

Both Prince William and Prince Harry caught the screening as well. If you want, look to your left, see the links I have listed on this page, pick one you feel definitely will take you to them, and see for yourself.

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

Just Because, Pt. 24

I want to ride around in a Vespa (with Hugh Jackman).

Photo: People.com.

The Next Queen of Broadway

Musical theater, meet Lauren Graham.

The erstwhile Lorelai Gilmore will play Miss Adelaide, the long-suffering fiancée to Oliver Platt’s Nathan Detroit in the upcoming revival of Guys and Dolls, opening on March 1 in New York City.

Previews begin on Feb. 3 – and I’m thinking about booking a trip ASAP.

After all, I think I know how I could keep warm….

Photo: Hollywood-Celebrity-Pictures.com.

Melrose Mania All Over Again

Should you close your eyes for a hot sec and open them again while watching The CW next season you’d think you’ve traveled back in time to the mid-1990s: Melrose Place will be back on the air.

Yes! I’ve been heard – and the bitch will be back.

Following in the somewhat successful footsteps of the young network’s 90210, a reboot of the soapy show currently is in development to be launched next fall.

Darren Star himself, the creator of both Melrose Place and original-flavor 90210, has admitted that a reboot “would be fun. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened – if it can be put together in the right way.”

I’ll say.

And so would Heather Locklear. Girlfriend needs to thrive once again.

Photo: AlloCine.fr.

Update 1: Former Melrose Place inhabitant and current Gossip Girl co-star Kelly Rutherford would totally be in the former’s reboot, “If they offered me a lot of money!”

Update 2: Melrose Mania is on! And now the question is: Will Heather Locklear slip into her infamous mini-skirts once again?

Something Bi This Way Comes

As I mentioned a month ago, Melissa George is joining TV’s Grey’s Anatomy next month.

Her character, Sadie, is an old friend of Ellen Pompeo’s Meredith, and “she’s part of a new breed of extremely hot, young professional females on TV who like sex with [both] men and women.”

So, did something happen between Meredith and Sadie back in the day?

You’re going to have to tune in on Nov. 13, which is when George’s first episode will air.

Just know the actress “think[s] so.”

Photo: EW.com.

And She Did It with a Straight Face

The amazing, funny, phenomenal, outstanding, wonderful Amy Sedaris was on Chelsea Lately last night, and she taught her host, Chelsea Handler, all about vaginal cleansing.

I couldn’t dream of making the bit justice by describing it, so watch it and laugh:



Sooo funny.

The Stars Are A-Rockin’

The premiere of the third season of the Emmy-winning 30 Rock is two days away – so get ready to laugh again.

Joining the impossibly It Tina Fey as guest stars this year will be Oprah Winfrey on Nov. 6 and Jennifer Aniston on Nov. 13, plus Megan Mullally, Steve Martin, and Salma Hayek, but not Blake Lively and Leighton Meester.

The third season of 30 Rock premieres on Oct. 30 on NBC. Here is a preview:



Update: Word is we can watch the 30 Rock third season premiere on NBC.com like, now. I watched it last Friday. It is good stuff.

Wedding Crusher

It really isn’t people like me who make a diff....

Actually, strike that – it is people like me who make a difference when it comes to building buzz around a movie, around a performance. I’ve already told you about Sally Hawkins and Happy-Go-Lucky and Kristin Scott Thomas in I’ve Loved You So Long, that these are actresses whose work you shouldn’t miss this season. Well, definitely add to the list Anne Hathaway and Rachel Getting Married. I knew Jonathan Demme’s exploration of a dysfunctional family gathering for a wedding was going to be something special months ago, and whaddya know, it is.

Hathaway, who has grown from Princess-y starlet into bona fide movie star before our eyes thanks to smartly chosen projects, stars in the film as Kym, a recovering addict who has been in and out of rehab for years.

Kym finally has found a treatment that works for her and is nine months sober when she’s given a weekend pass to attend her older sister Rachel’s wedding in Connecticut.

As you have probably guessed, this mix, this having the prodigal daughter coming home, is the source of the very-real, very-honest, very-raw conflict that makes this such a special occasion for everyone involved. And I mean “special” as in cathartic.

Hathaway still looks Bambi-eyed in Rachel Getting Married – how couldn’t she? – but the Bambi Jenny Lumet (daughter of director Sidney) has written is haunted.

It is beaten and flawed and hurt.

By tapping into that pain pays, Hathaway pays out in spades.

Kym is worlds apart from Rachel, who, played with award worthiness of her own by Rosemary DeWitt, is a study of the same qualities in measured quantities. Both actress and both characters complement each other richly.

The way Demme shot Rachel Getting Married puts us right in the action. The material from which he worked obviously was conducive to this: by making us part of it we get to experience the entire wedding weekend, we feel it, and we get to criticize it. We are there, not as intruders but rather as specters, if you will, looking through sorrow-colored glasses at the sadness of what is being revealed and the joy that is found in the moments that follow.

But both Lumet and Demme take it a step forward and let us into the characters. We are allowed not only to experience and feel and criticize them but we also are encouraged to get to know and respect and root for them.

That’s just dysfunction at its best, isn’t it?

My Rating ****

Photo: RottenTomatoes.com.

Sending Good Vibes

Jennifer Hudson, I’m thinking about you, girl.

Hudson’s mother and brother were found dead in their South Side Chicago home last Friday.

The singer-actress’s 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, has been missing since. Hudson is offering a $100,000 reward for his safe return.

“If anyone has any information about his whereabouts please contact the authorities immediately,” she said in a statement.

Photo: EarSucker.com.

Update: CNN.com has broken the news that an SUV connected to the case has been found. A medical examiner is checking reports of a child’s body inside.

The Body Made Me Do It

Elle Macpherson. Heidi Klum. Jason Statham?

The first two have been called, at one point or another, “The Body,” and I think it’s about time we call a man the same.

Obviously – just take a look-see at right – Statham is as fine as specimen as any to earn the nickname, don’t you think, don’t you think?

I mean….

Oh yeah, to take a look-see at the front of that shot, click here.

He’s like, quite possibly “the last action star” – and he’s not apologizing for it. On Nov. 26, we will see him doing what he does best when Transporter 3 opens in a theater near you.

Photo: Filmofilia.com.

Big-screen Heroes

In next February’s Push, a group of American expats with “extraordinary gifts” – Chris Evans moves objects with his mind, Camilla Belle can make her thoughts your own, and Dakota Fanning can see the future – are hiding in Hong Kong from a U.S. government agency that is hunting them down.

Naturally, the movie’s heroes must use their different talents and band together for a final job enabling them to escape the agency forever.

I want to see this very much.

Especially now that TV’s Heroes is beginning to really aggroy – not that I’ll give up on it anytime soon, mind you.

Photo: InfinityFeatures.net.

A Little More Chelsea

The folks at E! know they have a good thing going with Chelsea Handler – and they are not about to let that come to an end anytime soon.

So they did what any smart network would have done and renewed Handler’s late-night talk show, Chelsea Lately, through 2009.

Suck on that, person with an unsuccessful late-night talk show.

Thrilled about the pickup, Handler said, “My life has really improved in the last year, and I’m grateful to have such an IQ-reducing job.”

Photo: TVGuide.com.

Just Because, Pt. 23

She’s a sparkling star!

Elizabeth Banks dazzled on the red carpet while attending the BFI 52nd London Film Festival to screen W., last night.

I cannot wait to tell you about Banks’ other new movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, which opens on Halloween.

Photo: People.com.

So Are You on Team M or on Team Guy Ritchie?

Style.com wants to know who’s going to come out on top in the Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce.

Right now, the Queen of Pop appears to be sitting pretty at her throne – especially if it’s true that Ritchie called her not-so-nice names – but this article suggests that in the long run, it’ll be the film director the one who will be better lit in this show.

Time goes by so slowly…no time not to pick a team.

Photo: Mirror.co.uk.

Have You Voted Yet?

Early voting has been going all week, so I cannot help but wonder: Have you voted yet?

Or, are you one of them undecided voters author David Sedaris can’t believe exist?

“Are [undecided voters] professional actors?” he wonders. “Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

“To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. ‘Can I interest you in the chicken?’ she asks. ‘Or would you prefer the platter of s--- with bits of broken glass in it?

“To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”

Vote – early or on Nov. 4. But just do it.

And remember, “A vote for John McCain is a vote for George W. Bush”:

They “Have to Go Baaack” – And They Are

The countdown to the fifth season of TV’s Lost, premiering next winter, has begun:

Things Get Ugly for L2 – And Not In the Good Way

Here we go again with the negative Lindsay Lohan news.

According to E! Online’s Kristin Dos Santos, L2’s five-episode guest-starring stint on TV’s Ugly Betty “has been cut.”

Dos Santos says the in-demand actress (not!), “was not gelling creatively with the series…was not so interested in creating a character… was more interested in just playing herself, and that doesn’t work on a show like this with such heightened reality.”

You’re just a little silly, Linds. And you disappoint me, you deeply disappoint me.

Photo: E! Online.

Update: So was L2 supposed to do five or six episodes of Ugly Betty this season? I mean, are the reports counting her cameo in last season's finale or not?

Not important, really. Word on the street is it was the show’s star, America Ferrera, the one who lobbied to get Lohan off the show ASAP, and that La Ferrera “couldn’t handle [La Lohan] stealing her thunder.”

Meow. And I don’t buy it.

Washington Is It

The nation’s capital just got a little bit hotter now that former Veronica Mars star Jason Dohring has been added to the cast of HBO’s Washingtonienne.

Dohring joins Bitsie Tulloch, Rachael Taylor, and Amanda Walsh on the show. He will play Spencer, a senior legislative assistant working in D.C.

Kate Burton (TV’s Grey’s Anatomy) also has been tapped to co-star.

Photo: Seat42F.com.

Heath’s Last Hurrah

The first official photo of Heath Ledger from his final film, Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, has been released.

Ledger died last January while production was underway. His last completed role was that of the Joker in the box office and critical success The Dark Knight.

Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law subsequently were added to the cast of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus to complete Ledger’s role, taking on different aspects of his character.

The three actors donated their income from the making of the film to Ledger’s daughter, Matilda.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus will be released in 2009.

Photo: Towleroad.com.

Peace Out or Wipe Out

In The Day the Earth Stood Still, opening on, well…take a quick look-see at right, Keanu Reeves comes out of a UFO and delivers this doozy: live in peace or be destroyed.

Jeez, thanks.

Co-starring Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates, and Jon Hamm (AMC’s Mad Men), this remake of the 1951 sci-fi classic looks like it will send a chill up your spine.

Even better, it looks like you will like it.

Photo: 20th Century Fox.

Bomer Welcome

Matt Bomer, the up-and-comer who could’ve been Superman, and the star of the gone-but-not-forgotten TV show Traveler, oh, and a recurring guest star on NBC’s Chuck, has signed on to headline his own show on USA Network.

White Collar, a buddy-cop project of sorts, chronicling the partnership between a con artist and an FBI agent who have been playing cat and mouse for years, will pair Bomer with Tim DeKay (HBO’s Carnivàle).

No air date has been set yet, but I dare you, USA Network, to look at that face and not pick up this pilot. I double-dare ya.

Photo: PhotoBucket.com.

Life Is Like a Song So See It on Film

She’s a singer-songwriter, an actress, a fashion icon, one half of a power couple. She’s a dynamo by another name, and that name is Beyoncé (pictured on the movie’s set at right).

Attach to that first name the last name Knowles when you talk about her new cinematic project, Cadillac Records (due out on Dec. 5), though – you’ll need it because she’s producing it as well.

The multi-hyphenate plays blues singer Etta James in the film, about the seminal Chicago record label Chess Records and its founder, Leonard Chess, who started out selling albums out of his Cadillac.

James, Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, and Chuck Berry are among the legends who recorded on Chess. Adrien Brody and Jeffrey Wright (currently seen on W.) co-star as Chess and Waters, respectively.

B. will record four songs for the soundtrack and will donate a portion of her fees to recovering addicts through her family’s charity, the Survivor Foundation.

Photo: EW.com.

Update: To see more stills from Cadillac Records, click here.

Can’t Get The Jealousy Out of My Head

Kylie Minogue is going to perform in Peru on my birthday, and I couldn’t be more jealous.

“I must confess that I don’t know much about Peru, although I would love to learn about its people and its rich culture,” she said.

I am very into Australia these days, so to be so close – I could so get amazing tickets to the concert – and yet so far away from the diva from Down Under, well…it’s killer – and not in the good way.

What are the frakkin’ odds? And why won’t girlfriend put on three shows in the United States. OK, four: Miami, New York, Los Angeles, and, natch, Las Vegas.

Why!

Photo: BeatTrend.com.

Simply Irresistible, Pt. 39

I have but one reason to ask a friend of mine to give me back but now my DVDs of the first season of Showtime’s The Tudors: Henry Cavill.

The actor plays the notorious Charles Brandon, an elevated commoner and schemer whose character evolves from a playboy in the show’s first season to the politically aware and socially conscious duke by the second.

Look for him on the big screen in Joel Schumacher’s Creek and in the upcoming Whatever Works, a Woody Allen film in which he plays an actor in New York.

But in the meantime, you must see him on the pages of L.A. Confidential, which you can preview here.

Photo: LA-Confidential-Magazine.com.

Bridezillas on the Loose

In Jan. 9’s Bride Wars – that title should clue you in as to what this is all about (i.e., if my headline already didn’t) – Kate Hudson and likely 2009 Oscar nominee Anne Hathaway star as lifelong friends who have been dreaming of helping throw each other’s dream wedding for-frakkin’-ever.

That is until someone makes a mistake at the wedding planner’s and books both their weddings dates at The Plaza Hotel on the same day.

Uh oh.

As the race to the altar heats up, it becomes one filled with subterfuge (think spray-tanning surprises and hair-highlighting hijinks), and the two BFF will fight until only one bride is left standing in her something new, something old, something borrowed, and something blue.

Photo: FC2.com.

Talk About a Single

Dear Madonna,

I see that you’ve released “Miles Away” as your new single. Love the song.

But couldn’t you have included a remix in the CD, or perhaps, I don’t know – another song to preview a single to come? “Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You” is an adult contemporary hit in the waiting. What were you (not) thinking?

Quit taking cheap shots at Guy Ritchie, and don’t stand there like some silly girl.

XOXO

Photo: Madonnalicious.com.

American Boy

Yesterday, I caught a screening of W., and, trust, not because I wanted to see it: I simply, unwittingly reversed the 12:05 p.m. start time of Rachel Getting Married with the 12:50 p.m. start time of director Oliver Stone’s presidential biopic.

After all, why would I want to spend my hard-earned money on a movie opening, as EW.com pointed out, “during tough economic times about a man whom many blame for said financial strains”?

Alas, there I was standing in line. So I made lemonade. (The movie, btw, unlike its subject matter, met expectations, making $10.6 million its first weekend out.)

And here I am to tell you that W. is by no means a bad movie, it’s just not all that informative. Yes, it takes us through George W. Bush’s, the good US of A’s 43rd president, quite eventful life. But I didn’t think it gave me any insight into his life, at least no new insight.

We see “Dubya,” through a series of flashbacks, struggle and (arguably) triumph during his college years at Yale, striving to live up to the Bush legacy, a constant of his life according to Stone and his writer, Stanley Weiser (Stone’s Wall Street co-writer).

We see him meet his future wife Laura Bush at a barbecue setup that’s equal parts awkward and cute (because this is the only setting in which his aggroying Every Joe shtick really ever works – and for a sweet cause, no less).

We see him get saved – from booze (and drugs, right?) – but unfortunately not from his low self-esteem, and always fall upward thanks to his last name.

And we see him in the critical days leading up to his decision to invade Iraq, egged on by a manipulative cadre of yes people. You know who they are. And you know how that turned out.

Mostly, though, we see Josh Brolin in W., and he’s just dandy. He not only has the mannerisms we’ve come to find annoying, endearing, and yes, even amusing down pat, he enlivens them with a humanity that is – gasp! – hard to resist.

Brolin captures the spirit and the charisma of the man, the poor little rich boy who could not help but disappoint, deeply disappoint his father, as well as the flaws of the politician who will go down in history as perhaps one of the worst presidents ever to govern America.

The movie may not have broken any ground as a biography, but it did provide some fascinating moments, most set in the confines of meeting rooms in the Bush White House. Those I found interesting, but there weren’t enough to keep this lemonade cool and tasty.

My Rating **

Photo: SunTimes.com.

If the Song Fits

Beginning tonight, Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” will be featured in a brand new Gossip Girl promo that focuses on resident bad boy Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick, pictured at right).

Smart move, Brit-Brit.

And way to go, Gossip Girl.

Photo: PhotoBucket.com.

Laughing Now So We Don’t Have to Cry Later

I hope to God John McCain and Sarah Palin do not win the election next month, but boy am I going to miss seeing all the wonderful things Saturday Night Live would do should Palin become the vice president of the United States.

Not! (Ish.)

Good-sport (at last) Palin is good for a laugh now, indeed – seeing a very-pregnant Amy Poehler rap with such gusto had me in stitches – but can you really stomach having to deal with her and McCain for four more years of Republican regime?

I don’t think so.

I hope there’s some truth to this thing the media are calling “The [Tina] Fey Effect,” and that all this fun actually will hurt the Republican ticket’s chances on Nov. 4.

Photo: NYDailyNews.com.

On the Inglourious Set

Earlier this month, Quentin Tarantino began production on Inglourious Basterds in Germany, with an ensemble that includes Diane Kruger, Mélanie Laurent, Daniel Brühl, Eli Roth, B.J. Novak (TV’s The Office), Michael Fassbender (300), Mike Myers, and Cloris Leachman.

Brad Pitt (pictured on the movie’s set at right) plays Lt. Aldo Raine in the long-in-the-making World War II drama.

Inglourious Basterds (yep, that’s how Tarantino’s now spelling his title) will open sometime next year, probably in June according to IMDb.com.

Photo: François Duhamel.

Update: QT says movie audiences are going to see Brad Pitt like we’ve never seen him before.

Promise?

Must Hav…Drink This

French designer Jean Paul Gaultier has, well, designed (uh duh) a new bottle for Evian that I simply must have (yeah, I said it).

“Adorned with a pattern of interlocking snowflakes,” my new favorite blog says, “the bottle recalls the crisp, icy mountain tops of the French Alps from which Evian Natural Spring Water is derived.”

Yeah, right. It’s all about the designer’s name and what it evokes and what it will look like to be seen carrying this oh-so-pretty bottle.

I can already picture all the arteratti at December’s Art Basel Miami Beach toting theirs.

HTMW! (Hot Tranny Mess Water!)

Check out the ad here.

Photo: Gus-Mag.blogspot.com.

Nostalgia, Pt. 25

Something happened tonight that made me think of Nicky Holland’s “Just Don’t Know What to Do with Myself” from the My Best Friend’s Wedding soundtrack.

Choice lyrics: “Baby if your new love ever turns you down / Come on back I will be around / Just waiting for you / I'm still so crazy for you.”

The line between romantic and pathetic can be starletbot-skinny sometimes. But a good song is a good song is a good song.

And now I want to see Julia Roberts try to steal Cameron Diaz’s man.

Photo: Columbia Pictures (My Best Friend’s Wedding).

Simply Irresistible, Pt. 38

NBC’s Crusoe premieres in an hour, and I’m going to watch because of one Philip Winchester.

Sure, one review likens Winchester’s Robinson Crusoe to “a GQ model” – the inference is the show’s just too glossy – but it’s Friday night, and the feeling’s right.

Bring it.

Photo: NBC.com.

Update: Check out the show’s Tree House. Crusoe’s bedroom looks so loverly.

Chandra Wilson, The Best Monologue on TV This Week Award is Yours

Last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, titled “Brave New World,” featured easily the best lines Chandra Wilson has had to utter so far this season.

The look alone Wilson’s Dr. Bailey shot the way of Sara Ramirez’s Dr. Torres after the latter disclosed she was seeing Brooke Smith’s Dr. Hahn was priceless. What Wilson had to say later in the episode, though, well…that was phenomenal:



Again – phe-no-menal.

For All the Trekkies in the House

The cover story of the new Entertainment Weekly features some inside scoop on J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek, a “surprising, idealistic odyssey, which may end up with Kirk [&] Co. driving next summer’s box office juggernaut.”

There’s already a teaser for the movie out there…more specifically here.

I guess if I ought to become a new fan of this, Abrams is the guy I want to boldly take me where I’ve never been before, right, Felicity, Alias, Lost, Cloverfield, and Fringe fans?

Photo: EW.com.

Dog Day Christmas

Never mind what some people are saying, that it is a “dog of a flick,” I cannot wait for Marley & Me, and not just because it was shot in Miami – the movie looks sooo cute.

From the director of The Devil Wears Prada, this Christmas Day-opening comedy stars Owen Wilson as ambitious reporter John Grogan, and Jennifer Aniston as his wife, Jenny, also a reporter.

The couple moves to South Florida, buys a house, and adopts a Labrador puppy they name Marley, who quickly force to be reckoned with in their lives…and brings out the best in them.

And isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

Photo: 20th Century Fox.

Killers!

I’ve been waiting to see the new video for The Killers’ “Human” for weeks now (seeing them on Saturday Night Live earlier this month only made it worse).

Well, the band’s back, following the love-it-or-hate-it Sam’s Town with their latest, Day & Age, which will hit stores on Nov. 25 and on which they worked with Madonna’s main collaborator on Confessions on a Dance Floor, Stuart Price.

You can listen to The Killer’s “Human” on their MySpage page, natch – what’s with those lyrics, anyway? – and you can watch the video here.

Photo: Last.fm.

Even a “Flash in the Pan” Can Wield Power

Face it, Joe the Plumber – you’re having the best week ever.

Your name was mentioned in the last of the presidential debates between POTUS hopefuls Barack Obama and John McCain last night more than 20 times – so whether we/you like it your opinion matters now.

I just hope the people, like you say, don’t listen to you – indeed, you may not be Matt Damon, but you’re hunky alright, btw – and do listen to who matters in making their decision for Nov. 4.

Make it count, America! (Yes you can.)

Photo: MSNBC.com.

It’s Showtime Time

HBO, once the darling of cable TV, move aside: Here comes Showtime.

The cabler that Queer as Folk put on the map at the beginning of the decade is finally enjoying its day in the sun as the go-to cabler in Hollywood.

Hit shows like The L Word and Weeds helped usher in more hits, like Californication, Dexter, and The Tudors, and quite soon you will be able to add United States of Tara, an original idea from Steven Spielberg developed by Diablo Cody starring Toni Collette, to that list.

Collette will play a mom with multiple personalities opposite Sex and the City’s John Corbett (be still my heart!).

“It’s moving, it’s confronting, it’s outrageous,” says the actress.

And funny-looking, too. I’m already loving the fact that the trucker hat Collette wears as one of her personalities on the show looks exactly like the one a BFF used to wear all the frakkin’ time.

Photo: E! Online.

You Kiss Milo Ventimiglia with That Mouth, Hayden Panettiere!

“Nobody f---s with John McCain!” says Heroes star Hayden Panettiere in a new FunnyOrDie.com video.

Watch your mouth, Claire Bear.

Photo: HeroesTheSeries.com.

Secrets and Lies

Awards season must be a-comin’ – it is – because I’ve already told you about Happy-Go-Lucky’s Sally Hawkins, and now I’m here to urge you to seek you another foreign film, I’ve Loved You So Long.

Starring Kristin Scott Thomas as Juliette, this film tells the story of a woman who reunites with her sister Léa (Elsa Zylberstein) after 15 years.

The reason for her absence: Juliette’s been…uhh…away, which Léa didn’t know. Confronted with the unexpected goodness of her younger sister, who makes her a part of her family, Juliette’s bitterness and icy façade slowly begins to melt as the drama comes to a boil.

Scott is said to deliver a knockout performance, and I’ve Loved You So Long promises to stir its audience.

Photo: Sony Pictures Classics.

It’s the DI-VO-RC-E for the MA-DO-NN-A

After months of speculation, Madonna’s publicist, Liz Rosenberg, announced a few minutes ago that the singer and her husband, Guy Ritchie, will divorce after 7 1/2 years together.

A statement e-mailed to The Associated Press from Rosenberg said that the couple had agreed to divorce, and requested the media maintain respect their privacy. Yeah, good luck with that one.

The statement, co-signed by Ritchie’s representative, said the couple had not agreed to a settlement.

I wonder what M will say tonight when her “Sticky & Sweet Tour” stops in Boston. She’s either going to be totally aloof about the news or she’s going to be moo-dy, meaning she’ll pop a string or two from her guitar and she’ll stick to the script until she’s blue in the face.

The whole thing is sad, really. Expect a new album full of breakup songs from the Queen of Pop in the next couple of years, though.

Photo: SaysWhoLive.com.

Update 1: It was only a matter of time until the Alex Rodriguez business was unearthed again. UsMagazine.com is reporting M and A-Rod are “definitely romantic.”

Update 2: Meanwhile, Guy Ritchie spent the day working on Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr. in London. Ritchie is said to be “sort of relieved that it's all out there [now].”

Update 3: At her concert in Boston, M is said to have dedicated “Miles Away” to “the emotionally retarded. Maybe you know some people who fall into that category. I know I do.”

Ouch. That’s a change of tune if I ever heard one. Effective way to promote your new single, though.

Update 4: Which breakup anthem should Madonna add to her “Sticky & Sweet” set list, EW.com is wondering.

One of her own hits, like “Bye Bye Baby,” or “The Power of Goodbye,” or “You’ll See” – or Beyoncé’ “Irreplaceable”? Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone”? Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way”? No Doubt’s “Ex-Girlfriend”? Or how about pal Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River”?

Click here and vote.

Isn’t She Prolific

This week, Elizabeth Banks will channel Laura Bush in W., and later this month, the self-described “character actress trapped in a leading lady’s body” will, uhh, Make a Porno.

If that’s not prolific I don’t know what is.

Then, in January, Banks will star as a creeptastic stepmother-to-be in the thriller The Uninvited.

Let’s hear it for the girl, already.

Photo: Dreamworks Pictures.

Madonna Gets Filthy and Wise

Last night, in New York City, “where it all began,” Madonna premiered her directorial debut Filth and Wisdom.

Rocking a black Dolce & Gabbana dress and pistol-heeled Chanel stilettos, the Queen of Pop hit the red carpet to talk up the dramedy, the quirky characters of which, she said, all have aspects of her in them.

On hand for the screening to pay their respects – get ready for this guest list – were Lindsay Lohan, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber, Ugly Betty co-stars America Ferrera and Judith Light and Becki Newton and Vanessa Williams, Gossip Girl co-stars Chace Crawford and Taylor Momsen and Ed Westwick, Jessica Alba, Brooke Shields, Sex and the City’s Jason Lewis, Guy Oseary, and Eugene Hutz.

I want to see Filth and Wisdom soon. Do not disappoint me, Miami movie theaters.

Photo: Madonnalicious.com.

Beyoncé’s Back

The one and only Beyoncé is back with a couple of videos, one of which, for “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” I’m hearting this morning.

It’s black and white. Very simple. And it’s got mechanical hand beats.

I like B’s video for “If I Were a Boy,” too. It’s also black and white. More dramatic. And it features this model guy I haven’t seen in ages.

Both tracks are from Beyoncé’s upcoming, as-yet-untitled album, due to drop on Nov. 18.

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To Have Been on That Beach...

Happy Birthday, Hugh Jackman. And thank you for celebrating out and about Down Under.

As a gift, I’m so watching Australia. Twice.

(Was going to, anyway.)

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

With Breath That Is Bated

Music fans have been waiting for Dido to release a new record for quite some time, and now the wait is almost over: Her latest, Safe Trip Home, is scheduled to arrive in stores on Nov. 18.

In an early review published yesterday, The Observer noted that although the album is “overwhelmingly colored” by the singer’s father’s death in 2006, it isn’t gloomy.

“The outstanding song of the album,” the review said, “is the piercingly beautiful, Celtic-flavored ‘Grafton Street,’ a six-minute hymn to loss co-written with Brian Eno and featuring Mick Fleetwood on drums.

“Listen to it once and it will catch at your heart as a wrenching lament for a lover who will not return. Listen to it again knowing it’s an account of visiting her father during his last illness and death (‘My love, I know you're leaving, but I will stay here with you’) and [we] guarantee you will be bawling your eyes out uncontrollably long after the album has finished.”

You can listen to “Grafton Street” here.

Photo: Amazon.com.

Pluck Be a Lady

In the buzzed-about Happy-Go-Lucky, director Mike Leigh takes a look at the life of Poppy, a cheery, colorful, North London schoolteacher whose optimism tends to bug those around her.

The film opened in limited release last Friday, so check your local listing. It stars relative newcomer Sally Hawkins, whom The New York Times finds to be “glorious.”

Really, keep this one in mind when Oscar pool time comes.

Photo: Miramax Films.

Am I Going to Have to Write You a Letter, MJB?

Last night, I caught the Fort Lauderdale stop of Mary J. Blige and Robin Thicke’s “Love-Soul Tour.”

I had last-minute tickets that were just sick – seventh row, on the floor (jealous?) – and was so looking forward to enjoying the concert, which I so did, considering the week I’d had.

Having a car accident on hump day sucks. But I digress.

Thicke went on first. He never fails to disappoint, although I wished A) that his record company had splurged a little on his stage (because he deserves it), and B) that he’d performed more songs from his latest, Something Else, and not just the lead single, “Magic,” mostly because I’ve seen him perform “Lost Without U,” “Shooter,” and “Wanna Love U Girl” before – I wanted to hear “Dreamworld.”

Oh well, the price of admission paid for itself with him alone. But then there was Mary.

MJB came out clad in black leather, rocking shades and thigh-high fringe Christian Louboutin boots. The look was pure divalicious with an edge.

I enjoy Blige’s music quite a bit, but this was her tour – last spring, I saw her in Miami when she hit the road with Jay-Z) – so, natch, this time around I wanted and expected to hear the lovely “Come to Me (Peace).”

The fact that she didn’t sing it, well…it made me want to write a letter to her, telling her she owes me now.

At the same time, though, I figured, after all this time sans beam, that hearing it performed live wasn’t meant to be, either.

Photo: GettyImages.com.

The Cover That Shook the World

Is the November cover of W, showing the lady half of the phenomenon known as Brangelina, breastfeeding one of their newborn twins, just too gorgeous for words or is it just too hypocritical of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?

I and others cannot help but wonder since the subhead dubs the portfolio, shot exclusively for the magazine by Pitt, as a “private” affair.

Discuss.

Photo: EW.com.

Update: Click here to read the W story and see some of the accompanying portfolio.

It Wants to Begin

And by “it” I mean Britney Spears’ comeback.

The pop tart will premiere her new “Womanizer” video – which is full of “erotic” choreography according to UsMagazine.com – on ABC’s 20/20 tonight.

Which of the video’s looks (seen at right) do you like best? (I for one am feeling the leather.)

“Womanizer” hit airwaves last month. It’s the first single off Spear’s Dec. 2 album, Circus. And like most of the entries in her repertoire, it’s shticky, forgettable, yet thoroughly catchy.

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

Update 1: In an interview with MTV News set to air on Nov. 30, La Spears wonders, “What the hell was I thinking?” regarding her behavior, her career, heck, her life in the last few years.

Note to self: Must TiVo Britney: For the Record.

Update 2: Britney’s back, y’all. The “Womanizer” video proves it. Videos are a dying breed, but this one’s sexy – she’s naked in it! there’s a hunk in it – and effective. Keep it up, Brit!

WTF?

“It ain’t happening!”

And just like that – yeah, just like that – my great hopes to see Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively and Leighton Meester cameo on 30 Rock have been dashed.

The Lively-Meester cameo was 86d for “logistical” reasons.

You know you hate that news.

Photo: LateFabrication.wordpress.com.

He Was Gorgeous Before the Surgery

In an unprecedented move, Quantum of Solace star Daniel Craig has revealed that – gasp! – he’s had cosmetic surgery.

“It [was] a stupid inconvenience because we had to stop filming,” he said. “But they gave me an excellent plastic surgeon.”

The 40-year-old actor, who was recently spotted wearing an arm sling, had to have eight stitches in his face after being accidentally kicked by an unnamed co-star on the set of the latest James Bond movie opening next month.

Craig also discussed his approach to playing 007.

“I wanted some fallibility. It’s no good if Bond is a cocktail-swigging sexist pig with no interior struggle. Bond is often pissed off or upset, and I wanted to bring that out,” he said. “I won’t play [him] forever. But I’d like to think I’ve added something to the lineage of how the man has changed.”

Uh, don’t worry, dear. You have, and then some.

Photo: BestOf.Provocateuse.com.