There is a disturbing lack of Chris Hemsworth shirtlessness in Thor: The Dark World, part deux of the franchise launched with 2011’s Thor, a buoyantly directed-by-Kenneth Branagh introduction to the mighty Norse warrior god who would become an Avenger.
Yet, what little shirtlessness we do get is deeply appreciated.
More alarmingly, the first half of this Alan (Game of Thrones) Taylor-helmed sequel is surprisingly boring (ish). And – gasp! – worse, the movie looks surprisingly flat. Grand, alright, but totally eh. The visual panache Branagh gave his blockbuster is gone, and the 3-D glasses I had to wear for this somewhat-lackluster continuation did not help matters.
Which of these two issues is more upsetting is for you two decide.
Thor: The Dark World begins with a millennia-old story from Odin (Anthony Hopkins), the wise king of Asgard, in which he relates how during a war of yore, his father, Bor, defeated the Dark Elves of Svartalheim who, led by Malekith the Accursed (thanklessly played by Christopher Eccleston, nearly unrecognizable under a ton of tentpole-movie make-up), sought to take advantage of a powerfully rare alignment of the Nine Realms to endarken ’em using an indestructible force known as the Aether. Needless to say, the Asgardians came out on top, Malekith was never seen again, and the Arther was…ahem…managed, much like the Tesseract before it.
We get an update on Hemsworth’s Thor, who has spent the last couple of years restoring order and piece to the realms following the chaos that erupted in light of Loki’s actions in The Avengers, all the while pining away over his earthling love, astrophysicist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman).
Oh, and speaking of the great Tom Hiddleston’s Loki, he is paying for his crimes locked away deep in the dungeons of Asgard.
That’s kinda it. Nothing fun really happens until well after Jane, in London pursuing a lead to get back in touch with her God of Thunder, comes into convenient contact with the Aether (which, of course, takes hold of her – at the exact same time the realms are set to align once again!). OK, we are treated to an extended cameo by Chris O’Dowd as a potential, if clumsy love interest for Jane, and the opposite of treated to a telegraphed sorta moment between Thor and his warrior lady friend Sif (Jaimie Alexander, who gets more to do later on when she helps set up what is to come for the Marvelverse, which is probably why she dressed like this for the movie’s Hollywood premiere).
Once all of this is done, Thor: The Dark World is allowed to kick in. It’s not that the first half of the movie is like, a dud – it just feels like a (slower) different kinda beast than the more entertaining, Marvel-y one Taylor delivers in the second half when a cool cameo reminds us that, hey, this is meant to be a swell time, and Loki’s sprung from his cell to assist his would-be-king brother, and the action finally shifts to Earth and – Wormholes Alert! – all throughout several realms.
That’s kinda it. Nothing fun really happens until well after Jane, in London pursuing a lead to get back in touch with her God of Thunder, comes into convenient contact with the Aether (which, of course, takes hold of her – at the exact same time the realms are set to align once again!). OK, we are treated to an extended cameo by Chris O’Dowd as a potential, if clumsy love interest for Jane, and the opposite of treated to a telegraphed sorta moment between Thor and his warrior lady friend Sif (Jaimie Alexander, who gets more to do later on when she helps set up what is to come for the Marvelverse, which is probably why she dressed like this for the movie’s Hollywood premiere).
Once all of this is done, Thor: The Dark World is allowed to kick in. It’s not that the first half of the movie is like, a dud – it just feels like a (slower) different kinda beast than the more entertaining, Marvel-y one Taylor delivers in the second half when a cool cameo reminds us that, hey, this is meant to be a swell time, and Loki’s sprung from his cell to assist his would-be-king brother, and the action finally shifts to Earth and – Wormholes Alert! – all throughout several realms.
That’s when this one’s at it’s best, but, unfortch, it’s all too little (Loki) too late. And this is also where Taylor serves it best; for all his previous forays to the fantastic, the guy’s at his better keeping it (somewhat) real and grounded. And where Hemsworth shines brightest…when he is the fish outta water, not Jane Foster.
Side note, apropos of nothing: So Jane can breathe off Earth with no problem, but Lois Lane cannot?
Point, ladies of Marvel!
Oh, and don’t forget to watch Marvel’s Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. next week for a crossover event, kids!
Oh, and don’t forget to watch Marvel’s Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. next week for a crossover event, kids!
My Rating **1/2
Photo: Marvel Studios.
No comments:
Post a Comment