The Very Talented Mr. Wainwright

Hey you, how’s your memory: Do you remember that show Rufus Wainwright told those of us in the crowd at his Miami Beach concert last fall, the one he said he was mounting to premiere this spring?

Well, that project, a play on which he’s been collaborating with Robert Wilson based on Shakespeare’s sonnets, will premiere in Berlin on Easter.

Pretty sweet, huh.

Well, wait until you get a load of this: Wainwright, who thinks of himself as being “pretty prolific” – and quite rightfully so – also has written a full-fledged opera, with lyrics in another language (French), no less.

His Prima Donna will premiere at the Manchester International Festival in July after three years spent composing it. And although Wainwright will not perform the 1970 Paris-set Prima Donna, do not think he is done hogging the spotlight.

“This one is for opera singers,” he told EW.com. “They’ve got to be able to sing over the 70-piece orchestra, so I can’t do that. But I'll always want to sing. And now, after writing an opera, I’m much more interested in writing a musical. It’s far more lucrative!”

Photo: EW.com.

R.I.P. Lorne

It’s a sad day in the Whedonverse: Andy Hallett, b.n.a. the karaoke-loving demon Lorne on TV’s Angel, has lost his five-year battle with congestive heart disease.

Hallett was 33 years old.

A private funeral service will be held for family and close friends in Cape Cod, Mass., this weekend.

Photo: PhotoBucket.com.

Will Brüno Be Denied?

Sacha Baron Cohen’s upcoming summer release Brüno, which is said to feature outrageous sex scenes and racist humor that goes well beyond Borat – and hilarious-sounding fashion show-crashing scenes (like the one pictured at right) – recently was given an NC-17 rating by the Motion Picture Association of America.

I cannot help but wonder, though, if this harsh decision was reached because of the controversial topics tackled in the docu-com: homophobia and racism.

Yes, in the movie, Brüno, gay Austrian fashionista played by Baron Cohen, appears to have anal sex with a man on camera in one scene, while in another, he goes on a hunting trip and sneaks naked into one of his fellow hunters’ tents, “played” by an unsuspecting non-actor.

Is Brüno really too raunchy…or is it being unfairly judge by a group of dotards?

Photo: HarpersBazaar.com.

Putting a Face with the Name

Fans of Showtime’s Dexter will recognize this guy and will be able to speak of this casting way more than I can now that Mark Pellegrino has been on Lost “in a pivotal role.”

Could Pellegrino be playing…Jacob, perhaps?

We’re gonna have to wait until the season finale to find out.

Photo: EW.com.

Not Lacing Up Just Yet

As we’re all sad to know, Heather Locklear won’t be revisiting Melrose Place when The CW launches its reboot of the show this fall, and neither will be Andrew Shue, a.k.a. Billy Campbell.

At least not yet.

“They haven’t asked me,” Shue told me (and I told someone else) at last week’s opening of South Beach’s Betsy Hotel and BLT Steak. “I live on the East Coast, and I have a family [, anyway]. It would have to be something short-term, and it would have to depend on the storyline.”

Well, then it’s a good thing Shue’s brother-in-law, Davis Guggenheim, is directing the pilot because now the actor can get the inside scoop and see if there’s anything he likes.

Cutting to the front of the line: that’s so Melrose!

Photo: KennethInThe212.com.

The Ultimate Match-up

Movies in 3-D, unlike “fetch,” are happening, and Monsters vs. Aliens is the latest animated release to use the special effect to draw in a crowd, and I have to say that the technology, while fantastic, doesn’t impress me much.

I find the use of 3-D as gimmicky, to be quite honest.

And it seems most productions use the effect a lot in the beginning of the movie, and then just faze it out, then use it again a little more. Or perhaps I’m wrong and my eyes just get used to it after while. Whatever. The point is I really don’t think 3-D enriches the movie…the story…and that’s the case in Monsters vs. Aliens.

It’s a take-it-or-leave-it situation, if you will. And I’d be more inclined to pass on it, especially because those glasses you have to wear aren’t too comfortable.

Having said that, allow me to hop off this train of thought by noting that, yes, Monsters vs. Aliens is a fun, good-looking movie – but it need not have masked its shortcomings with anything other than broader appeal. This one, I thought, really catered a bit more to kids only than to kids and adult like, say, Shrek or anything from the Pixar/Disney vault.

Anyway, the movie starts with Susan Murphy (voiced by Reese Witherspoon), a sunny California girl who is clobbered by a meteor full of outer space gunk on her wedding day, the effects of which manifest during the ceremony when she mysteriously grows to 49 feet 11 inches tall.

Alerted to the threat of this new monster, the military jumps into action and Susan is captured and taken to a covert government compound where she is renamed Ginormica.

Placed in confinement with a ragtag group of other monsters – including the brilliant but insect-headed Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D. (Hugh Laurie of TV’s House); the macho half-ape, half-fish Missing Link (Will Arnett of TV’s Arrested Development); the gelatinous and indestructible B.O.B. (Seth Rogen); and the 350-foot grub called Insectosaurus – Ginormica’s seclusion is cut short, however, when a mysterious alien robot lands on Earth and begins storming the country.

In a moment of desperation, the POTUS is persuaded by Gen. W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) to enlist the motley crew of Monsters to fight the Alien threat, and save the world from imminent destruction.

Some hilarity ensues.

Again, I thought the movie was enjoyable – the voices, especially Witherspoon’s, were pretty perfect – but I could’ve taken it with the 3-D any day of the week.

Sometimes, 3-D for 3-D’s sake it is just short-sighted.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: Fandango.com.

A Lily in the Californian Sun

The ’80s are back, and their poster girl will be none other than the thoroughly contemporary Brittany Snow.

The actress will make her debut as a younger Lily van der Woodsen in flashbacks on the May 11 episode of The CW’s Gossip Girl (Kelly Rutherford originated the grownup role on the hit show), a.k.a. the backdoor pilot for a spin-off following Lily’s adventures in L.A. as a teen debuting this fall.

Eighties heartthrob Andrew McCarthy (pictured at right with Snow) will play Lily’s father, Rick.

“We’re taking some artistic liberties,” Snow said. “But hopefully, the audience will see it as a portion of her life and not directly connected to who she is now.”

Here’s to hoping we will “XOXO” the spin-off as much as the original.

Photo: EW.com.

Not So Fast, Matt Lauer

With his arm in an arm sling, Matt Lauer returned to the Today show this morning, just a few days after dislocating his shoulder in a bicycle accident.

“I feel good,” he told co-anchor Ann Curry.

Lauer said he’ll be in a sling for the next six weeks, and joked that he could be starting a new fashion trend. Earlier this week, Lance Armstrong also hurt himself in a bicycle accident in Spain.

“It’ll be all the rage next year,” Lauer quipped.

Uh, let’s give credit where credit is due: Madonna rocked the arm sling look four years ago when she fell off a horse (which is way more badass) and broke her collarbone. So if the trend started with anyone, it started with her. Natch.

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

Spy Games

Aw, Duplicity – you had to be too long.

It’s a good thing Julia Roberts and Clive Owen are delicious on screen together.

It’s a very good thing.

Next time, edit, Tony Gilroy, edit.

That’s all.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: Universal Pictures.

They Make Everything

First came the poster, and now here’s the trailer for Spike Jonze’s upcoming, delayed, yet incredibly promising Where the Wild Things Are:



I should read the book like, yesterday.

Update: Since the video above doesn’t work anymore, click here and check out the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are.

Don’t say I don’t do nice things for you.

Now, This Just Hurts My Feeling

That possible Veronica Mars movie we’ve been hoping for – yeah, it may not happen.

“I think honestly if we would have had the pitch ready a year earlier, it would be a ‘go project,’” show creator Rob Thomas has said. “The hope that we would get a quick green light didn’t materialize. This is the least optimistic I’ve felt in a while.”

But here’s the silver lining: Producer Joel Silver has not given up on the project, which would see Kristen Bell’s star-making sleuth cracking cases in college, in spite of all the obstacles it still faces.

“Joel has a very strong attachment to Veronica Mars,” Silver’s spokesperson told Entertainment Weekly. “Rob has a great idea for a movie, so Joel really hopes to find a way to make it.”

Oh, yes, please, make it happen.

Photo: UsrBinGeek.com.

A New Low

Previously on Desperate Starlet….

Lindsay Lohan said in an interview that she and Sean Penn were trying to reach Seth Rogen for a project, but that the funny guy “won’t call us back.”

But now Rogen has told Moviefone.com that he simply doesn’t know what L2’s talking about.

“That [was] the first I had heard of that,” the Monsters vs. Aliens co-star said. “And my assistant hadn’t heard it either. I can tell you that she hasn’t called me. If she has, I haven’t heard about it.

“[But] I would call her back, sure! I’d return a call.”

Well, consider yourself called…out, Linds.

Photo: AskMen.com.

Update: And just when I thought La Lohan’s career couldn’t sink any lower, her upcoming movie Labor Pains has been dumped...to cable. It will premiere on ABC Family next month.

“Wow!” That’s gotta hurt.

The Queen of Late-Night TV

Signing through 2009 is sooo 2008: Chelsea Handler has extended her deal with E! Entertainment’s parent company, Comcast Entertainment Group, to keep her late-night talk show, Chelsea Lately, on the air through 2012.

In addition to staying on board as the host and exec producer of Chelsea Lately for the next three years, Handler will produce shows for other Comcast nets through her production company, the aptly named Borderline Amazing.

The news is especially great because Handler has more than held ground in the male-dominated late-night arena.

That sound you hear is the glass ceiling shattering into smithereens.

Photo: StarPulse.com.

In the Beginning There Was the Funny

Summer’s a good time for a road trip, so won’t you take the ultimate road trip back in time with Jack Black and Michael Cera…all the way back to Year One?

I would. And, darn it, I so am on June 19 when their new comedy opens.

I’m laughing already thinking of Black and Cera as two men wandering through early civilization in biblical times.

Photo: Sony Pictures.

Good Bad or Just Bad Bad?

For some tastemakers, like Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, or Kristen Bell, director Tommy Wiseau is the man.

Who?

Wiseau is the star-writer-director of The Room, a too-bad-for-words cult film that’s been a bit of a cult hit among L.A.’s cognoscenti. The plot revolves around a really nasty love triangle – but from the looks of the trailer below, it cannot be any nastier than the acting, writing, or directing:



I guess that’s what makes it a hit, right.

I have to wonder, though, now that the film has been shown in New York City, how will it take for it to go full mainstream?

Donna Martin to Come Back! Donna Martin to Come Back! Do…

Attention 90210 lovers and haters: The CW’s reboot is gonna make it look like it’s the 1990s a little more when Tori Spelling, another original-flavor alumna, reprises her role as Donna Martin for three episodes starting on April 14.

No word on whether Brian Austin Green, a.k.a. Donna’s hubby David Silver, will follow suit soon.

Want to know what TV’s most famous virgin been up to? Well, then click here, already.

Now click here to see who’s she hanging out with on the show – it ain’t Brenda – and who she’s bringing along (it’s one cool chick).

Photo: EW.com.

Cashing In Her V Card

Shall we be worried?

Lost MVP Elizabeth Mitchell has been cast in ABC’s eagerly anticipated V pilot.

She joins Scott Wolf in the project, and leaves this and other fans wondering if her character on Lost, Juliet, will be joining Boone, Shannon, and the rest of the dead castaways in Island heaven. After all, there are rumors out there that one of the show’s major characters will get it later this season.

Oh, I’d miss Mitchell so – but I’d also watch V, more now than ever.

Photo: TheAdvocate.com.

Here Come the Bouvier Beales

I’ve been meaning to preview HBO’s upcoming Grey Gardens, but I wanted to have a little something extra, an added value to just the trailer, you know.

Well, patience has paid off: The Daily Beast has a look-see at the fashion of the April 18 made-for-TV film starring Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange.

Costume designer Cat Thomas took on the daunting challenge of recreating the signature style of Big and Little Edie Bouvier Beale, the mother and daughter pair (and aunt and first cousin of Jackie O.) who lived in beyond- surprising squalor in an East Hampton, N.Y., house for years and became the notoriously subjects of one of the 1970s most iconic documentaries, Grey Gardens.

Both Little Edie and Big Edie loved clothes – especially Little Edie – but in their slightly senile states, turned fashion quite literally on its head.

For instance, Little Edie wore cardigans as kerchiefs and skirts upside down, always sported a signature brooch or pop of color.

Click here to take a look at some of Thomas’ sketches.

Photo: TheDailyBeast.com.

Uh, This Is Turning Me On

Hot Spot of the Week, TV lovers: It was C-A-N-D-Y meets G-O-S-S-I-P when photographer Terry Richardson’s shot the cast of Gossip Girl for his first Rolling Stone cover.

The result was a provocative – what else! – series of photos of the show’s stars, Blake Lively and Leighton Meester, that left me thinking their sugar is raw.

And I likey.

Photo: RollingStone.com.

This Is the Song of the Day!

Newlywed Mandy Moore has a new album coming out called Amanda Leigh, the first single off which is called “I Could Break Your Heart Any Day of the Week” and now available on iTunes.

Go buy it, I’ll wait.

OK – so as I write this I’m on my third listen in a row.

I love this song.

It’s bouncy, it’s pretty, it’s Mandy:

The Thing About Predictions…

Knowing is so Lost – and that’s why I kind of mostly liked it.

Let’s see: Like the cult TV show (Side note to all the fair-weather Lost watchers: You suck and you’re missing out), Nicolas Cage’s latest starring vehicle involves a mysterious set of numbers, events that are supposed to happen, and a band of other people).

There’s also a plain crash, seemingly gifted children who go missing, as well as someone who knows more than she’s telling – Rose Byrne (FX’s Damages) – and someone, a man of reason (Cage, natch), who is confounded when everything he believes in is challenged for the purposes of the story.

Director Alex Proyas’ movie begins 50 years ago, when at a dedication ceremony for a new elementary school, a group of excited boys and girls is asked to draw what they think the future will look like, the drawings of which would be stored in a time capsule.

One of these students, a quiet wide-eyed loner-type (let’s just say creepy) girl, fills her sheet of paper with rows of apparently random numbers instead. And then she has a freak-out that hints to her having received those numbers somehow.

Cut to the present, when as part of an anniversary ceremony a new generation unearths the time capsule’s contents and the girl’s cryptic message ends up in the hands of young Caleb Koestler (young Chandler Canterbury), who’s day happens to be John Koestler (Cage), an MIT professor who is shocked to find out that these seemingly meaningless numbers actually are an encoded message predicting with fool-proof accuracy the dates, death tolls, and coordinates of every major disaster of the past 50 years.

Yeah, they couldn’t be lottery numbers…à la Lost. Ha!

As John further unravels the document’s chilling secrets, he realizes it foretells three additional events – the last of which hints at destruction on a global scale, and seems to somehow involve John and his son. Feeling chosen, double-natch, he tries to prevent more destruction from taking place. And with the reluctant help of Diana Wayland (Byrne) and her daughter Abby, the kin of that creepy girl from 50 years ago, John makes it his mission to avert the end of the world.

That is until he realizes the thing about predictions, thanks to those other people I mentioned before (I won’t say anything so as not to be a wet blanket).

I’ll just say that Knowing had me wrapped up in its apocalypse-happy finger until the third act, when religious faith-debunked by supernatural science undertones crept in.

As a sci-fi piece, this one gets off to a bit of a slow start, but once it gets cooking, the smell had me at the edge of my seat wanting to taste some more. Heck, Knowing even made me actually like and not just endured Nicolas Cage.

My Rating ***

Photo: Summit Entertainment.

A Whiff of Desperation

I have to admit that it’s tough-love time when it comes to Lindsay Lohan.

L2 needs to eat a cookie and get a job.

At least she knows she has to get a job, this whole name-dropping, publicly calling out actors thing she’s doing in the new issue of Nylon has got to stop double-pronto.

“It’s scary when you realize, ‘Oh my God, I’m not working. And have a house to pay for now,’” she said. “I’m talking to a lot of people right now. One is Sean Penn. We’re trying to get Seth Rogen for this project, but Seth won’t call us back. So call us back, Seth, if you’re reading this!”

Don’t hold your breath, Linds. And eat something, or I won’t like you anymore.

Photo: People.com.

Life as a Beach

You have to watch Ricardo de Montreuil (La Mujer de Mi Hermano) latest film, Máncora, which premiered at the Miami International Film Festival last week – and not just because de Montreuil is from Peru like yours truly.

No. You have to watch it because of Elsa Pataky whom I’ve dubbed a woman on the verge of superstardom.

(Is it too early to plug the May issue of Miami Living? Oops, I guess I just did.)

Máncora, which also screened at the Sundance Film Festival last winter, provides Pataky with a starring role in a movie by one of the most exciting talents to emerge from Latin America in recent years.

The movie follows the story of 21-year-old Santiago (Jason Day), a young man from Lima who escapes to the idyllic beach town of Máncora in northern Peru after his father’s suicide. Before leaving, though, his stepsister (by marriage) Ximena (Pataky) and her husband, Iñigo (Enrique Murciano), drop in on him and decide to come along for a journey that will change all of their lives forever.

But Santiago and Ximena are brother and sister. (Ish.) Who cares. It’s sexy, and it works in the context of the story.

The thing I liked about Máncora the most, other than seeing this pretty location captured on film, of course, was that, like Pataky says, the story is very real.

It’s young people, finding themselves – sure, by unconventional means – and carrying on with this knowledge to become better versions of who they are. It’s a coming-of-age story, and a pretty good one at that.

My Rating ***

Photo: Flickr.com.

I Call This Thinking Outside the Box

Project Runway Season 5 finalist Kenley Collins was arrested yesterday after allegedly assaulting her musician fiancé – with their cat.

Assault with a feline weapon is something I’m bummed out I’ve never thought of, to be quite honest.

Meow, indeed.

Collins reportedly was charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon after throwing the cat, a laptop, and three apples at her fiancé.

And get this ironic twist: He penned a song called “CAT?” for her Project Runway finale.

I’m sorry, but you couldn’t have designed a funner story. We always kinda knew this chick was one headpiece away from the catwalk to a catfight, right?

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

Update: A week after the incident, Kenley Collins addressed the assault charges, admitting to “gently” tossing her cat on the bed during an argument with her now-ex-fiancé.

Because that sounds so much better.

Making an Honest Man Outta Him

Designer Marc Jacobs reportedly has popped the question to his ad exec bf, Lorenzo Martone.

Jacobs and Martone have been dating for roughly a year and are said to be coming out as betrothed boys in Martone’s native Brazil today.

Jatone are supposedly in São Paulo to celebrate Jacobs’ multi-brand store, which opened in January.

Good for them!

Photo: People.com.

Once She’s Gone, She’s Gone

Sorry, CW: Heather Locklear will not be moving back to Melrose Place. (Not yet, at least?)

“There wasn’t a way to bring her back that made sense,” said a source close to the young network’s reboot of the beloved Aaron Spelling show.

That’s too bad. I really wanted to see Locklear’s Amanda Woodward throw a few choice words the way of Ashlee Simpson-Wentz & Co. Those new tenants definitely will need some good schooling when it comes to blackmail, deception, sleeping around, bomb-making, and double-crossing.

Photo: People.com.

R.I.P. Natasha Richardson

The worlds of film, stage, and TV are in mourning today: Natasha Richardson has died after a graver-than-anyone-thought skiing accident that resulted in severe brain trauma.

The beautiful 45-year-old Tony Award-winning (for Cabaret) actress is survived by her husband, actor Liam Neeson, and two sons.

Richardson appeared in films such as Nell, opposite Neeson, The Parent Trap, Maid in Manhattan, The White Countess, and Evening. In January, she shared the stage with her mother, Vanessa Redgrave, in a one-night performance of A Little Night Music in New York.

Photo: TheCinemaSource.com.

Update 1: Lindsay Lohan has issued a remembrance in honor of her Parent Trap mom, saying, “[Natasha] was a wonderful woman and actress and treated me like I was her own. I didn’t see much of her over the years, but I will miss her. My heart goes out to her family. This is a tragic loss.”

Update2: Meanwhile, Richardson’s Cabaret co-star, Alan Cumming, has said, “The term ‘life force’ seems trite, but that is what [Natasha] was: a woman who powered through life and fascinated everyone she encountered.

“I have been thinking about the times I spent with her since I heard the news of her tragic accident, and the strongest memory I have is of her laughter, her unmistakable throaty laugh. I think that’s a great way to remember someone.”

Update 3: Judi Dench and Jane Fonda also have expressed their sadness over Richardson’s death, with the former praising her “luminous quality that you seldom see,” and the latter recalling her youthful beauty and grace.

Regis Philbin, Kelly Ripa, and director Sam Mendes also have publicly remembered the actress. So have Oprah Winfrey, Jodie Foster, Padma Lakshmi, Blythe Danner, Demi Moore, and many other celebrities.

Update 4: Broadway will dim its lights on March 19 in memory of Natasha Richardson.

Kathy for Gays, Gays for Kathy

Queen D extraordinaire Kathy Griffin is being celebrated by her gays.

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) will give Griffin its Vanguard Award at the L.A. edition of the 20th Annual GLAAD Media Awards next month for her tireless work increasing the understanding and the visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

Past recipients of the Vanguard Award include the very-A-List Charlize Theron, Eric McCormack (TV’s Will & Grace), Elizabeth Taylor, Liza Minnelli, and Jennifer Aniston.

Also being honored with GLAAD Awards this year are Showtime’s The L Word, and Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal Church (he delivered the invocation at the opening celebration of the Presidential Inauguration, remember?).

Photo: TVWeek.com.

Demi Moore Likes It from Behind…

The view, from behind the camera, natch.

I’m sorry – I just couldn’t resist the easy, tacky double-entendre.

But really, as I told my good ol’ pal Teddy C. over at E! Online, Demi Moore admitted to the audience at the Miami International Film Festival screening of her short Streak, which is available on iTunes, that she was “was completely terrified [making her directorial debut], but realized I’m more comfortable behind the camera than in front.”

All I have to say to Moore is, Honey, you look like a million bucks – even though a tattler told me he knows it only cost you about $250,000 to defy gravity the way you do (don’t shoot the messenger) – so please make sure to find projects that will keep you in front of the camera for many years to come.

Photo: GossipGirls.com.

Love on Wheels

This summer, director Sam Mendes will follow up his bleak Revolutionary Road with Away We Go, a beyond-sweet road trip dramedy starring John Krasinski (pictured on set at right) and Maya Rudolph.

Written by David Eggers and Vendela Vida, the movie opening in limited release on June 5, follows an expectant couple traveling across the country in search of a place to put down roots and raise a family.

Away We Go features a supporting cast I already know is only going to elevate Krasinski and Rudolph’s game and obvious-from-the-trailer chemistry. It includes Allison Janney (Juno), Jim Gaffigan, Jeff Daniels, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Photo: blog.BitComet.com.

Excuse Me, Mr. Wilson

Oh, what happy day: It has been announced that Watchmen star Patrick Wilson is expecting his second child.

Well, his wife is, but you know what I mean.

Mmm, here’s a thought, Patrick (I can call him Patrick, right? Right?): Do not remind me you’re straight and happily married and a total DILF. It’s just cruel and unnecessary, really.

And seriously, congrats.

Photo: Allocine.fr.

The Year of the Drag Queen

RuPaul is back, and she’s more fabulous than ever.

It’s time for a change of vernacular, or so she says. And RuPaul’s more than gay (as in happy) to re-emerge, and lead the way.

Click here, read all about it, and eat your heart out.

Photo: TheDailyBeast.com.

Love at First Room Service

Steven Zahn only wants one thing in his next film: Jennifer Aniston.

The thing is Zahn is pursuing something, someone, pretty much everyone would, right? I know I would, so I’m getting a tad jealous since Aniston is the object of my affection, too.

But I digress.

In May 15’s Management, Aniston plays a cheap art dealer, who finds herself in a love triangle between her rich boyfriend played by Woody Harrelson and Zahn’s sweet but underachieving assistant motel manager:



Aniston, who’s had two back-to-back hits with Marley & Me and He’s Just Not That Into You, thrives in smaller, darker films like this one…so let’s help her make it three for three, OK.

When and How Exactly Did She Become a Criminal?

An arrest warrant for Lindsay Lohan has been issued. And I am not all that surprised. L2 really is taking this whole downward spiral thing to heart.

Oh, dear.

File this under Developing.

Photo: MavTV.com.

Update 1: Seriously?!

Update 2: OK, so...a Beverly Hills judge removed an arrest warrant Monday after La Lohan’s attorney provided proof to the court in the judge’s chambers that the star has been compliant with her alcohol education classes. (Evidently, that’s why she was wanted.)

Linds’ added, “She’s been doing everything right,” in reference to her three-year probation term for her second DUI conviction, in August 2007.

Uh...no. I disagree. When this sort of thing happens to someone, they are most certainly not doing everything right.

You Gotta Love a Good Double-entendre

Oh Britney Britney, I’m loving your “If You Seek Amy” – and kicking myself hard for not coining that phrase, which I’ve used, albeit in a more directly spelled way, for ages:



Btw, don’t her boobs look insane?

Gird Your Loins

Brenda Walsh will be back.

Again.

At a movie premiere in L.A. last night, the original bad girl, Shannen Doherty, confirmed Kelly Taylor’s worst fears: her all-time frenemy B.W. will be going back to America’s most famous zip code for the first-season finale of The CW’s 90210.

Drama will follow for sure.

Love it!

Photo: EW.com.

Now That’s What I Call Method

Joaquin Phoenix got into a fight last night – and we liked it.

Scraggles, as I’m dubbing him, was “performing” (or something like it) his first of three songs at LIV at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach, when he felt someone in the audience was heckling him.

“Bitch!” he yelled into the mic. “This a $3,000 f---ing suit!”

And then he dove into the crowd, looking to give someone a bruising. Security rushed in after him, natch, and here’s the kicker: his brother-in-law Casey Affleck documented the whole thing on film.

Affleck, of course, is making a documentary about Phoenix’s bizarre career leap from acting to rapping, which lends credence to the notion that Phoenix is pulling a fast one on us and this unkempt-looking, being-difficult-with-Letterman thing he’s doing is nothing but Method acting at its most dedicated and entertaining. Or, again, something like it.

Update: I almost forgot to share with the rest of the class that Scraggles met up with Willem Dafoe at the club.

MC Phoenix and Dafoe (who was in town for the Miami International Film Festival) met up in one of LIV’s skyboxes. The two chatted and laughed for a few minutes, while Affleck documented their interaction.

And, of course, Phoenix stayed in character the entire time, which I bet was rather fascinating to Dafoe. Sure was fun to watch.

Threesome

Peter Sarsgaard, Sienna Miller, and Jon Foster – are you picturing it?

They star in the upcoming The Mysteries of Pittsburgh (out in limited release soon), the adaptation of Michael Chabon’s 1988 novel about gay and straight love/lust vis-à-vis a bisexual love triangle and a post-college summer.

Here’s the trailer. Watch it and watch it again.

Now, let’s go back to picturing these three good-looking Hollywood players getting it on….

Photo: BuzzSugar.com.

Simply Irresistible, Pt. 47

Watching a recent episode of FX’s Damages – I’m quite sure it was the one from two weeks ago – I nearly went and oops, crapped my pants.

That is because they went ahead and revealed that the person at other side of Ellen’s (Rose Byrne) gun is – Spoiler Alert! – Patty Hewes (Glenn Close).

“There’s gonna be some major, major upheaval in Patty’s life,” said Glenn Kessler, one of Damages’ co-creators and co-stars. “And Ellen has some coming in her life as well.

“The ground is going to shift considerably. Many of the things we’ve proposed throughout the season certainly do get knotted up, and these women end [Season 2] on very different ground than they started.”

All of this and so much more begs the big question surrounding the show: Damages is one of the best hours of TV out there – so why aren’t you watching? A new episode airs tonight, so get.

Photo: Sepinwall.blogspot.com.

A Ms. No More, Mandy Moore Comes Back a Mrs.

Mandy Moore has wed Ryan Adams – and my heart has broken a little.

The happy couple tied the knot yesterday in Savannah, Ga., and they did it quietly, just like they wanted.

Moore’s first order of business as a married woman – a nice honeymoon, natch – will have to wait, though, for she has a new album titled Amanda Leigh to plug, which she’s already talking about.

Click here to read all about it, and to find some songs free for download.

Photo: MarieClaire.com.

B.C.

The French have all the luck.

The new Coco Chanel biopic Coco Avant Chanel (Coco Before Chanel), starring the delightful Audrey Tautou (Amélie), is opening in France next month.

While the film en français has yet to secure distribution stateside, from the looks of the trailer movie audiences here should expect it soon, perhaps this fall:



Je veux bien voir ce film!

Coco Avant Chanel, of course, chronicles the rise to iconic greatness by one of the fashion world’s most famous designers – and it looks so pretty Coco herself would be quite proud.

Into the Night

Taking a cue from TV’s Lost, Keira Knightley is flash-forwarding into the future from her period-drama past to star in the modern-day rom-dram Last Night as a married New York writer who runs into an old flame (Guillaume Canet) while her husband is on a business trip with a very attractive co-worker (Eva Mendes).

First-time director Massy Tadjedin wouldn’t say if any cheating or anything else goes down during the movie, which unfolds over a 36-hour period, but said that Knightley’s character does consider her choices in her life and her marriage.

“It’s a good, strong marriage,” Tadjedin said. “But even the best marriages can be tested.”

Playing with fire gets your burn, and I’m really looking forward to seeing Knightley go up in flames (figuratively, of course).

Photo: EW.com.

Gangster’s Paradise

Coming out soon, on July 1, actually, is Public Enemies, starring Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, and Marion Cotillard (La Vie en Rose).

In the Michael Mann-directed based-on-a-true-story film, fan fave Depp plays Depression-era bank robber John Dillinger, while Bale takes on the FBI agent assigned to bring him to justice.

This one looks like it’s gonna rock….

Photo: EW.com.

Flattery Will Get Them Everywhere

In its April issue (on stands now, I’m quite sure), Glamour magazine is celebrating the “You can do anything!” motto of seven decades worth of female risk-takers, rule-breakers, and style-makers – all of whom are beautifully embodied by some decidedly modern young talents.

Included in the iconic spread are up-and-comers Paula Patton as Billie Holiday, Emma Roberts as Audrey Hepburn, and Emma Stone as Carrie Bradshaw.

Glamour also asked the more established Alexis Bledel to dress up and portray Rosie the Riveter, America Ferrera to channel Dolores Huerta, Hayden Panettiere to step into Amelia Earhart’s leather boots, and Lindsay Lohan (pictured at right) to take on her idol Madonna during her infamous “Like a Virgin” MTV Video Music Awards performance.

“When I was little,” La Lohan said, “every day after school I would come home and put in her Immaculate Collection disc and karaoke to it around the house.”

Surely, she added: “And now I follow Madonna around to parties (that is, when I’m not following Samantha Ronson to DJ gigs, and not working myself).”

Photo: Glamour.com.

Update: Speaking of Linds, she has taken to People.com to promote her upcoming spray tan line.

Uh, honey...you’re an actress. Act like one, and then branch out. You know, like Gwyneth Paltrow is doing.

Lohan’s enterprising spirit would be less laughable if she had it together – and I say this with love (because I know, I know...when was the last time I had a successful line of leggings, right?).

The Second Coming of Sydney Andrews

The CW’s reboot of Melrose Place, which everyone with a TV set expects will be on schedule this fall, has selected Ashlee Simpson to move into the complex as Violet, a calculating, shrewd sex kitten trapped in the hot body of a disarming small-town girl.

Yep – sounds like someone will be channeling Laura Leighton’s infamous Sydney Andrews. And I kind of love it.

Simpson joins a cast that so far includes Katie Cassidy (as ambitious publicist Ella), Michael Rady (as aspiring filmmaker Jonah), and maybe, just maybe, original-flavor Melrose Place‘s Heather Locklear, who would be mini-skirting around as Amanda Woodward.

“Both sides are talking,” it has been reported. “It’s looking good.”

Now, that I totally love.

Photo: Oumwashtenaw.org.

Update: My bad: It’s Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, thankyouverymuch.

I Need a Cellophane Outfit!

In exactly one month I’m going to see Lady GaGa perform in Fort Lauderdale.

I can’t wait to show her what I got, and see if I can read her “Poker Face.”

Photo: StarPulse.com.

Gotta Sonic to This

Right, so…I was at the gym the other day working on my fitness when this song called “Spiralling” came on.

It was fast, it was fun. It sounded British. And it made me want to dance.

It was a surprise to find out Keane were behind it (the song is a track off their Perfect Symmetry album), and now I love it even more.

Actually, I so think they should so come to Miami for Winter Music Conference later this month it’s not even funny. Keane’s new sound must be shared under the sun.

Photo: Flickr.com.

Super Frenemies

I had such great hopes for Zack Snyder’s Watchmen, which is opening today – not because I’m such a fan of the cult graphic-novel series by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons and John Higgins on which it is based but because Snyder was the man behind 300, a compelling and stimulating visual treat.

Too bad that Watchmen, the tall tale of fallen superheroes, set against a Doomsday Clock countdown to impending nuclear war, is not as engrossing. I can and will actually say that it’s quite the fidget-in-your-seat bore. It’s not a good thing when your flick, which has been long anticipated (Watchmen, the novel series, was published between 1986 and 1987), leaves anyone thinking it’s just, well…long.

This super-stylized movie is set in an alternate, dystopian 1985 America, a world in which costumed superheroes are part of the fabric of everyday society. An opening-credits sequence lets us know that our titular watchmen are nothing like their predecessors of the 1940s, a bunch that called itself the Minutemen. No, these characters we follow are less noble. They’re grittier and rawer. I’d describe them as disillusioned – but then again no. Some have been unmasked, some have assumed secret, normal identities, and all have been forced off the streets. For better or for worse, they’ve made peace with the fact that they no longer need to dispense their brand of justice – the sort that allows for pillage, rape, and violence.

When we meet them in the 1980s, they’re retired cast-offs, like the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, from TV’s Grey’s Anatomy), who sets the plot in motion when he is murdered, or business cutthroats like Ozymandias (Matthew Goode). It’s the Comedian’s suspicious death that galvanizes another washed-up but determined masked vigilante, Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley), to uncover a plot to kill and discredit all past and present superheroes.

Smelling the stench of like, a Black List, Rorschach sets out to reconnect with his former crime-fighting legion, which includes Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman), Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson, Haley’s Little Children co-star; he needs to become a bigger deal double-pronto), and the omnipotent Dr. Manhattan (a very blue – and very naked – Billy Crudup). Along the way, he uncovers a wide-ranging and disturbing conspiracy with links to their shared past and catastrophic consequences for the future.

By the time the utilitarian ending of Watchmen plays out, though, all you’ll care about is the exact location of the nearest exit, and you’ll wonder why there were so few action scenes in 163 minutes of would-be blockbuster time. Yes, the action scenes we get are literally bone-crunching and hard to watch, but Snyder gave us better and more of that in his previous effort than he does here. And I don’t think Crudup’s full-frontal nudity exactly counts as exciting – half of us see that daily.

It speaks volumes when the most edge-of-your-seat thing about this superhero movie is the scorching hotness between Akerman and Wilson.

Now, that’s what I call excitement. Here, the rest of it all is what came before and what came after.

My Rating **

Photo: Warner Bros.

Island Dweller

The wonderful Reiko Aylesworth (TV’s 24) is joining Lost with tonight’s episode, a Sawyer-centric installment titled “LaFleur.”

Aylesworth, who is due to appear in four episodes of the show’s fifth season, which is proving to be quite a trip, will play Amy, a new character we will meet “in the midst of the biggest crisis of her life.”

The actress says Amy “really draws [the castaways] into a new world.”

Sounds intriguing, and I cannot wait – especially because Josh Holloway, who plays Sawyer, is said to appear clean-shaven in the episode.

Photo: PhotoBucket.com.

Out of This World

Party of Five and Everwood alumnus Scott Wolf has been tapped to star in ABC’s reboot of the campy cult fave V.

His Dimplesty will play Chad Decker, an Anderson Cooper wannabe tasked by the Visitors to disseminate their propaganda to the masses.

Uh, I don’t know about you, but I’d buy what he’s selling.

Photo: People.com.

Grad Your Lasso, Grab Your Boots

Today, Warner Bros. came as close as it will get for a while to giving us a Wonder Woman movie by releasing a straight-to-DVD animated feature about the fetching superhero.

Waitress co-stars Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion reunited to lend their “crisply expressive” voices – it’s Russell we’re talking about, so uh duh – to the project.

And the movie is described as a satisfying version of the character’s origin-story that ought to please both hardcore fans and newbies, hitting all the right notes: Wonder Woman’s first years on the island of Themyscira, home base for Amazon warrior women; her entry into America; and her flirtation with pilot Steve Trevor.

Can’t wait to rent it! Click here for a trailer.

Photo: EW.com.

The Ringleader Is Coming

Britney Spears kicks off her “Circus Tour” tomorrow, and here’s your first look at her new show:



La Spears – yep, she’s earned La status again – will hit Miami on March 7.

I need to go to there.

Update: Click here to find out which songs the pop tart will perform. “Me Against the Music,” Spears’ song featuring Madonna, is included in one of the sets. Will the Queen of Pop return the favor and make a cameo?

Just Because, Pt. 35

A Happy Birthday wish goes out to Daniel Craig, who turns 41 years of hotness today.

Now, there’s a man who’s got the right string and the right motherf---ing yo-yo!

Photo: SimonHatter.com.