Ooh, Fifty Shades of Grey – you bad.
See, the Sam Taylor-Johnson-directed movie (about the budding dom-sub relationship between billionaire businessman Christian Grey and college grad Anastasia Steele) is bad as in it’s naughty....as in, heck yeah, it’s about BDSM...but, y’ know, it’s also bad as in it really is quite terrible.
I mean, the dialogue – most of it picked up from the E L James novel upon which the blockbuster’s based (the author, I understand, if memory serves, had quite a bit of unprecedented influence on the production) – is beyond-risible. Like, I finally know why this is called Fifty Shades of Grey: because our main man, an insular sort with mommy and control issues, is, per his own admission, fifty shades of f---ed up. Worse, he is absolutely 100 percent serious about making such a statement.
The action is all kinds of not sexy, which is surprising given that the leads are played by hot up-and-comers Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan. And this is a movie about erotic fantasy and whatnot.
What works about Fifty Shades of Grey, IMHO, is the dynamic between the characters. While I could see that the struggle to get the lot of their lines out was real for Dornan and Johnson, I could also appreciate that their wheels were turning.
That they did the work to understand the psychology of their parts.
Dornan was tasked with portraying a sexy motherf---er of a cypher, and while it is clear to me that he didn’t get all that much on the page, he definitely brought something to the stage as Christian Grey. He brought mystery, alright, but he also made it clear he was embodying an onion of a man. Surely, we soon will find out more about this dominant stud, and, better yet, about the things that make him tick. Meanwhile, Johnson made sure that her Anastasia retain a certain strength of personality.
While Ana is offered an extraordinary arrangement by Christian – he asks her to submit to her, not only in flesh but also contractually (but not in a whore-y way...it is all about establishing limits!) – and she comes off as a bit of a tease by not signing on the dotted line, she also strives to understand what is driving Christian at the same time that she lets it be known what she wants.
She wants normal, and while she’s up for exploring his desires and ways, she’d like that reciprocated, too.
In others words, she wants to melt his frozen heart.
Look, this ain’t going to win any Oscars next year, and I don’t think it should be winning no Razzies, either.
Taylor-Johnson has done an admirable job of setting up the rules of engagement. Fingers crossed, any future sequel to this property will dance a better dance around them.
Everything would be far more titillating and interesting that way.
My Rating **
Photo: Universal Pictures.
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