Something Old, Something New…. Something Bitch

In the so-called comedy Bride Wars, Kate Hudson and likely Oscar nominee Anne Hathaway (for Rachel Getting Married, not this disposable waste of money – can I get reimbursed?) play childhood friends-turned-bridezilla enemies.

That’s right…the two have dreamt of helping throw each other’s dream wedding for-frakkin’-ever, except something goes awry on the way to the altar.

For controlling Liv (Hudson) and docile Emma (Hathaway), nothing sounds more weddinglicious than a June ceremony at Manhattan’s ultimate bridal destination, the Plaza Hotel. But, as they’re about to get married and realize their dreams, their plans are about to hit a snag or two. When a clerical error (on the part of, natch, the city’s most famous wedding planner) causes a conflict – gasp! –in the BFF’s wedding dates, Liv and Emma’s bond is put to the ultimate test.

Liv, you see, is a successful lawyer who is used to getting what she wants, including the perfect job and the perfect man. She will not settle for anything less than what she’s been dreaming off since she was old enough to take her mom’s pumps out of her closet and play wedding (always as the bride) with Emma.

On the other hand, Emma, a schoolteacher who has always been good at looking after others…but not so much at putting herself first, discovers her inner, say, fighter, and comes out swinging when her own dream wedding is on the line.

As June approaches, the two best friends who’d do pretty much anything for each other (except, it seems, share), find themselves in a no-holds-barred, subterfuge-friendly struggle that threatens to erupt into all-out war.

It’s amusing, on paper, to consider a spray-tanning surprise or pulling off a good hair-highlighting hijink on someone, but to see play out on screen in Bride Wars, it just doesn’t work.

I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say I barely smiled once or two watching this movie. One of the lines in it says, “You don’t alter a Vera Wang, you alter yourself to fit in a Vera Wang.” Do not alter your sense of humor for Bride Wars – it’s a loosing proposition.

My Rating **

Photo: 20th Century Fox.