Bow, Bee-yotches. Bow!

Well, if there ever was an occasion for a “Holiday” I’d say the time is right now, so let’s have us a “Celebration” in honor of the one and only Queen of Pop, Madonna.

Really, if you only have “4 Minutes” to honor her, then join me.

Like a “Ray of Light,” she came into the world 53 years ago.

Seriously, right! (Yeah, I am so completely serious with where I am going with this one.)

When she first busted onto the music scene more than two decades ago, we believed it when she told “Everybody,” in no uncertain words, that she would rule the world. You know, ’cause she...uh...actually said as much.

That’s the kind of attitude that made her a star.

Later, she drove her point across “Deeper and Deeper” when she reminded us that, indeed, her “Music” makes the people come together. By then, we were “Hung Up” on her, and there’s no denying it.

“Don’t Tell Me” otherwise. You know she’s still “Causing a Commotion.”

It’s no “Secret” that I’m an M fan and then some. She’s the real thing...“True Blue,” y’ know, and, baby, I love her.

So don’t ask yourself “Where’s the Party” because if you’ve got her in your life, then you know if you “Express Yourself” the funsies will be there. “You’ll See.” That’s one of the many things the erstwhile “Material Girl” has taught us.

Another: to keep our eyebrows under control.

So today I say Happy Birthday, Madonna – I’m forever “Crazy for You.”

Photo: Jacober + Associates.