Monday, December 31, 2012

Kimye Are Pregnant

Oh, dear.

And, as Kris Jenner is totally not probably thinking, “Jackpot!

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting their first baby together.

Out of wedlock.

And while her divorce from Kris Humphries is pending.

Class all the way.

Alright, alright – no judging (’cause it’s not like I’m all about tradition), but it’s true, as the singer announced the news himself during a show at Revelin Atlantic City last night. The guy was doing this thing when all of the sudden, halfway through a song, he said, “Stop the music for a second and make some noise for my baby mama.

Since celebrities usually wait until about the time the first trimester is behind them to let the world in on the upcoming arrival, West must have put a baby in Kardashian after he saw her dressed up as Catwoman for Halloween in Miami Beach (as a birthday present, perhaps, since that’s around the time of her b-day).

Click here to watch the announcement. And may that bundle of joy bring a (big-ass – ha!) loaf of bread under his of her arm.

Photo: E! Online.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Get May 2013

“Marry me” – or something new – will be the catchphrase of the summer that is to come.

That’s because that’s when Emmy winner Arrested Development is making its triumphant return to the zeitgeist thanks to Netflix. The exact date for the serving is May 4, so mark your calendars.

In all, there will be 14 new episodes of the critical and cult fave, each focusing on one of the show’s dearly and wacky characters, some of whom are so everything they’re getting the two-ep treatment.

Welcome back, Bluths!


Friday, December 28, 2012

2012: The Year in Review

What is up, bitches.

I gotta say, first and foremost, that 2012 was one heckuva ride – not just at the movie theater but also for myself as far as my personal life goes.

Lotsa change.

Let’s see, I moved back to my first home, to Lima, Peru, leaving behind Miami and Miami Beach, my coming-of-age haunts, as well as a big piece of my heart back there. So I spent the whole year – nah, more than that since the move was in the horizon for about three years! – gearing up toward that little bit of funsies.

That’s why you didn’t get as many reviews as you probably should have, so sorry for that...thanks to y’alls who stuck with this mess nevertheless (see, that’s why you should follow me on Twitter @moviemartin, too).

Which is not to say I didn’t go to the movie theater. Once again, I spent an unhealthy amount of time in the dark, surrounded by strangers, watching my stories. So without much ado, here’s what I liked best about the year that was.

And here’s to us, and to a better, funner, reunion-y 2013!

10 Best Films of the Year (in alphabetical order):

The Avengers
Beasts of the Southern Wild
The Cabin in the Woods
Moonrise Kingdom
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Silver Linings Playbook

Honorable Mention: The Dark Knight Rises

Best Directors: Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower), Rian Johnson (Looper), Sam Mendes (Skyfall), Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight Rises), David O. Russell (Silver Linings Playbook)

Best Bear: Ted from Ted

Best Bodies: Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, Alex Rodriguez and Matthew McConaughey in Magic Mike

Best Body, Honorable Mention (He Gets Props for Rocking Assless Leather Chaps): Tom Cruise in Rock of Ages

Best Comeback: The Hulk in The Avengers

Best Coupling: Emily Blunt and Ewan McGregor in Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Hottest Throupling: Taylor Kitsch, Blake Lively, and Aaron Johnson in Savages

Best Hair (tie): Blake Lively in Savages and Merida in Brave

Worst Hair (Still): Chris Hemsworth, as Thor, in The Avengers

Best Fight: Gina Carano vs. Michael Fassbender in Haywire

Best Find on DVD: Your Sister’s Sister

Best Madonna-directed Film Released in 2012 for Awards Season But Released in My Market in 2013: W.E.

Best Use of Steven Soderbergh’s Talent: Magic Mike

Worst Use of Steven Soderbergh’s Talent: Haywire

Best Supporting Actors: Robert De Niro (Silver Linings Playbook), Irrfan Khan (Life of Pi), Matthew McConaughey (Magic Mike), Ezra Miller (The Perks of Being a Wallflower), Bruce Willis (Moonrise Kingdom)

Can’t Wait to See More of – Female: Rebel Wilson, from Bachelorette and Pitch Perfect

Can’t Wait to See More of – Male (tie): Liam Hemsworth, from The Hunger Games, and Richard Armitage (The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey)

Glad That’s Over: The Twilight Saga

Should’ve Had a Better Year: Taylor Kitsch (John Carter and Battleship did not work)

Best Supporting Actresses: Judi Dench (Skyfall), Rosemarie DeWitt (Your Sister’s Sister), Anne Hathaway (The Dark Knight Rises), Maggie Smith (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel), Jackie Weaver (Silver Linings Playbook)

Most Aggro (tie): The Master and Denzel Washingtons character in Flight

Most Disappointing: Prometheus

Most Enjoyable Villain: Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman

Most Engrossing (tie): Michael Fassbender in Prometheus and Life of Pi

Most Ridikolous Fun: Battleship

Plain Ol Ridikolous: Rock of Ages (especially Catherine Zeta-Jones’ demented look)

Most Squirm-inducing: That beachside scene of the kids in their undies in Moonrise Kingdom

Most Welcome to the A-List: Channing Tatum (Haywire, The Vow, Magic Mike)

Most Wish I’d Seen It at the Movies: Keep the Lights On

Best Actors: Bradley Cooper (Silver Linings Playbook), Daniel Craig (Skyfall), Jonathan Gordon-Levitt (Looper), Aaron Paul (Smashed), Denzel Washington (Flight)

Best Actresses: Emily Blunt (Your Sister’s Sister), Ann Dowd (Compliance), Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook), Quvenzhané Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Smashed)

Photos: Fox Searchlight Pictures (Beasts of the Southern Wild); Universal Pictures (Savages); Summit Entertainment (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2); Warner Bros (Magic Mike).

Who Will It Be?

The Oz: The Great and Powerful publicity machine is working it.

Check out this latest one-sheet Disney has released to whet our appetite for next spring’s blockbuster. It features the Wickest Witch of the West, – and just like that trailers that we’ve seen, the poster doesn’t indicate who’s playing her.

Is it Mila Kunis? Or Rachel Weisz? Could it be Michelle Williams?

The smart money is on Weisz. If you look at the Wicked Witch of the West’s face in the poster, the lady has some decidedly Weiszian features.

But what if director is bait-and-switching us? From the prequel’s trailers it would seem like Kunis and James Franco’s would-be wizard hit it off. Like that. Somewhat. What if he does her wrong and she becomes green in anger?

Guess we’ll just have to wait and find out. Oz: The Great and Powerful is coming out on March 8. We can hold it until then, right?


Thursday, December 27, 2012

Zombies, Zombies Everywhere

Remember Nicholas Hoult, the kid from About a Boy (and the young man from X-Men: First Class)?

Well, dude’s all grown.

And undead.

Of course by that I only mean that Hoult is playing a zombie, in the upcoming Warm Bodies, which is less an intense thriller and more of a...rom-com?

Yeah, that’s right, for he plays R, a walking corpse that falls in love for a beautiful zombie fighter played by Teresa Palmer.

To drum up more interest for the movie, which opens on Feb. 1, the powers that be behind the wackiness have released its first four minutes, which mostly introduce us to R. Check it:

I wanna pal around with R....

Gareth Thomas Wants You Fit

Didja know that out former rugby player Gareth Thomas has a new fitness DVD in stores?

No? Well...ya welcome.

Btw 1, didja know that Thomas also runs a foundation that improves the lives of disadvantaged kids through music and that it benefits from the sale of every copy of his DVD?

No? Well, go get in shape after all the holiday binging by checking it out.

Btw 2, didja know that there is a biopic of the guy in the works, and that Oscar nominee Mickey Rourke is quite likely going to play him?

No? ya do.

Evidently, he and Thomas are buds, and Thomas has revealed that the Wrestler star is moving to Wales quite soon to begin training and get in a Gareth Thomas state of mind.


Wednesday, December 26, 2012

She’s Just Being a Little Bit Country

My, my – check yourself out, Miley Cyrus, getting your Dolly Parton on.

The singer has released her own version of “Jolene,” no, not as a message to no starletbot who has designs on her fiancé, Liam Hemsworth, but as part of a little something called the “Backyard Sessions” she recorded last summer.

And girlfriend does her godmother’s song justice.

Have a listenyall.


Done with Downton?

Spoiler Alert!

No, seriously: Spoiler facking Alert!

Heck, I coulda used one, but I also coulda used catching up with the PBS hit Downton Abbey by now (this shames me to admit but I’m like, perennially one ep short of finishing Season 1, which is silly, I know).

OK, ready? Here goes nothing.

The rumor was trueDan Stevens, a.k.a. Matthew Crawley, is leaving the hizzy.

Much like Maggie Smith, Stevens was thought to be on the fence about returning for more once Season 3 wrapped up this year with a Christmas special (the lot of the actors were contracted for as many years, but the runaway success of the show expanded its life through fourth and fifth outings).

The actor has revealed that it was a desire to try something new that prompted his departure, adding that although “there is a strange sense of liberation at the same time [there is] a great sadness because I am very, very fond of the show and always will be.

Indeed, Stevens currently can be seen on Broadway, in a revival of The Heiress opposite Jessica Chastain.

So theres that.


Update 1: Click here for a spoilerific preview of what is to come.

Update 2: Here comes the backlash?

Downtown Abbey creator Julian Fellowes has candidly offered that there was no changing of Dan Stevens’ mind as far as not leaving the show. He added that in the U.K., the creatives are more at the mercy of the talent rather than the other way around, as far as where the stories head.

Totally get what the man is saying...but I hope Stevens gets that, at least in America, he’ll be perceived as a bit of a spoilled spoiler.

Or maybe not. He is too cute to stay mad at, after all.

GaGa Docs

Lady GaGa’s getting into the documentary business.

All together now: How very Madonna of her!

Mother Monster announced on Christmas that she has partnered with photographer Terry Richardson to document a slice of her life, as well as provide an insider’s look at the creation of her forthcoming album, ARTPOP.

I better not see a single frame in black and white – for her sake.

I mean, if she wants the comparisons to stop, she should insist on deep color saturation. On, I dunno, 4-D. On making sure her bf Taylor Kinney (TV’s Chicago Fire) is featured heavily and shirtless. Very shirtless. And wet.


Sunday, December 23, 2012

Wills the Hero, and How the Duke and Duchess Are Doing Xmas

Prince William’s a hero!

And he will not back down to no security threat when he’s got a search-and-rescue job to do for the Royal Air Force.

That’s what reportedly happened on Dec. 15 when the Brit who will be king, an RAF captain, and his team airlifted a sick infant out of Northern Ireland and transported the tyke from Antrim Hospital to Newscastle-Upon-Tyne.

And now, on a related note...wanna know where Wills and Kate will be spending the holiday?

At the duchess’ ’rents!

Yup, in a break with tradition, the HRHs will head to Bucklebury to be with her family, skipping the Queen’s traditional celebration – this in spite of the Queen actually doing something shes never done before and inviting the non-royal Middleton family to pop on over and spend the holiday among her brethren.

Guess the monarchy is changing.


The xx Sound of Christmas

So The xx are like, It.

The indie British band’s sophomore album, Coexist, was a jolt of moody energy this year – their song “Sunset” grabbed me immediately.

This Christmas, The xx were invited into the BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge, where they dropped their rework of a season’s classic, Wham’s “Last Christmas complete with that trademark slow-song-at-the-rave sound of theirs.

The result is som’in’ else, and I do mean that in the best way possible.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Christmas in the Backstreet

’Tis the season.

So, natch, everyone has to have a little something to sing about it, like the Backstreet Boys, who have dropped It’s Christmas Time Again” for us to try and enjoy.

Every image conjured up by the season is in this song. The mistletoe, Santa’s list, the snow....

It’s a bit Glee and a bit much.

But it’s the Backstreet Boys, so it sounds pop-y good to me, especially because of that bell eruption halfway through. 

What the heck – let’ have it!


Lindsay Lohan’s New Cinematic Low

Robert Altman just rolled in his grave a little.

Somebody, please, tell me Lindsay Lohan will finally admit having her mom Dina as her manager was the worst decision of her life.

I say this because the trailer for L2’s Scary Movie 5 is out, y’all.

Can you imagine where she’d be if she had climbed the Hollywood ladder half as passionately as she dug a hole in the ground for herself.

Not winning. I know – too easy. But gf has been reduced to poking fun of herself in a really unfunny-looking way. With Charlie Sheen.

Knowing Linds, though, she’d probably just blame it on being pointed in the wrong direction.


Indeed, the Time Is Right Now

I know, I know – having celebs tell us what to do is as much fun as getting elephant poop slung our way, but this time, the rich and famous have a point: It has been enough.

Last week’s shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut was a new low in America’s struggle to get its s--- together and come up with a plan for better gun control.

I call it a struggle because, obviously, some people understand that, while guns may not kill people (people kill people), it doesn’t mean guns should be readily available because it’s a right to bear them. We gotta ensure the right people get access to guns.

The latest shooter was a 20-year-old with a reported history of mental problems (which is its own issue, one that needs to be addressed ASAP). That kid needed to be around guns as much as those children and adults he shot needed to have their lives cut short. Not at all!

The Sandy Hook incident was an all-around tragedy and a travesty, and it is enough.

I hope all Americans, even the pro-guns-everwhere folks, realized that in the wake of this sad chapter, and are finally ready to take a look at what needs to be done.

If bearing arms must be a right, then it had better be a regulated one.

That’s all Beyoncé, Jon Hamm, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jason Bateman, Peter Dinklage, Julianne Moore, Amy Poehler, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Aniston, and Chris Rock, among countless others, are demanding.

So demand a plan, too. It is time for that gross NRA mentality to stop its pervasive influence.