Miami Blah

Most of the promotional material for Michael Mann’s Miami Vice will have you believe that one of television's “most influential series” (which he executive produced way back when) has come back to life as an “explosive” feature film this summer.

Certainly, the studio’s marketing minds didn’t mean “explosive” as in bomb, which the movie comes very close to being. Granted, if this weren’t Miami Vice I’m pretty sure the anticipation factor would’ve been considerably lower, but the truth is the movie is a major disappointment.

Mann’s big screen offering, however, is not a remake – you couldn’t really call it that. It is a (failed) reinvention of sorts. The fractured script has done without any sense of camaraderie between Sonny Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs, who, as played by Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx, mumble incomprehensively and sleepwalk around for most of the first act – and they’re supposed to be setting up some sort of sting at a Miami Beach hot spot!

The story is basic cops and robbers…except the cops have carte blanche to nab the robbers, who in this case are members of an extremely dangerous and well-organized drug cartel. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

A leak at the FBI has led to multiple murders and blown a massive international drug-trafficking case wide open. With the Miami-Dade Police Department one of the only uncompromised agencies remaining, Crockett and Tubbs are pulled into the investigation of the Cuban drug lord Arcángel de Jesús Montoya and his alluring business adviser Isabella (Memoirs of a Geisha’s Gong Li).

The stakes are high – but just how high is telegraphed at best. Soon, Crockett and Tubbs discover that it will take more than deep expert undercover work to bring down Montoya’s big-budget international operation. It will take attitude, ingenuity, and a total immersion in their undercover roles that will ultimately put their whole personal and professional lives on the line.

Miami Vice is a departure from the TV show, all right – it is its exact opposite. Remember what I said about it being a reinvention? The pastel color palette has been replaced with a heavy use of blues and grays, and though the sprawling views of the Magic City remain, they are extremely dark and gritty.

Farrell and Foxx are apart for more than two thirds of the movie, and the rapport between their Crockett and Tubbs suffers as a result. I hardly bought the two as partners – not that I wanted them to be on top of each other (hey, that’s a thought), but I at least would’ve liked to think they really had each other’s backs.

Having said, their respective relationships with women – Farrell’s with Li and Foxx’s with Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest’s Naomie Harris (as his intel analyst girlfriend) – were established quite well. But this is supposed to be Miami Vice, not a romantic action drama.

There’s lots of boom in this artfully shot movie, but very little bang (that standoff at the end notwithstanding).

Side note: Miami Vice had its East Coast premiere at the Lincoln Theatre, and, as I told E! Online’s Ted Casablanca, it was not the star-studded affair it could have been.

The celebration got started with a pre-premiere benefit dinner for CURED hosted by Emilio Estefan at Quattro on Lincoln Road, which drew the likes of Madonna’s BFF Ingrid Casares (whose presence effectively put the kibosh on the rumor that she had flown to Europe with Madonna) and Heatherette designer Richie Rich.

The following night, the red carpet premiere drew a large crowd of onlookers, yet the two stars of the movie, Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx, were conspicuously MIA. Considering they had been making the talk show circuit in New York City, everyone thought they would fly down and party. Alas, they did not, but Mann did.

Guests included the Estefans, Casares (seen sneaking into the theater), Rich, Hulk Hogan and his family, Sammy Sosa, the Miami Heat’s Alonzo Mourning, Timbaland, Mya, and Nicky Hilton, who was accompanied by a fresh-out-of-rehab Brandon Davis (he checked himself in after TMZ.com caught him calling Lindsay Lohan a "firecrotch"). Hilton and Davis left hastily – a mere 20 minutes after working it for the press. Perhaps they heard the movie was…not so great.

Pretty much everyone hit the after-party at Mansion (a location in the movie), as did fabulous local diva Elaine Lancaster, Paris Hilton’s music producer Scott Storch and Finesse Mitchell (TV’s SNL).

My Rating **

Photo: Universal Pictures.

The Madonna in Miami Report

As expected, Madonna and Co. arrived in Miami last week to play the last two American nights of her “Confessions Tour” at the American Airlines Arena, which made a nut-nut out of this fan.

One of my spies (and fellow Madonnaphile) spotted tour dancers Cloud and Tamara walking hand in hand down Lincoln Road in South Beach last Thursday. He said they looked very casual and very hot. Then on Friday, Stuart Price, Madonna’s co-producer and “partner in crime,” held court at Social at the very happening Sagamore Hotel in Miami Beach where her BFF Ingrid Casares was hosting a party (little brother Christopher Ciccone was there, too).

On Saturday, Gloria and Emilio Estefan were seen taking their floor seats at the arena; ditto Casares, Ciccone, and Guy Oseary. During the concert, Madonna dedicated "Paradise (Not For Me)" to her brother, which made her all the more endearing.

The following morning, Madonna and her daughter Lola hit the beach at the Shore Club in Miami Beach (she reportedly stayed at The Setai, where she had no less than 30 rooms at her and her entourage’s disposal). No one knew she was on the beach and no one noticed her until she and her five bodyguards got up to leave. She was covered in towels, by the way, probably to protect her royal skin – a smart move since Sunday was bright, hot, and oh-so steamy (as would be her concert later on).

Quick side question: Where were Guy Ritchie and Rocco?

Sunday night’s concert was amazing. The Queen of Pop turned it up for her second night at the AAA. She was enjoying herself quite a bit as she appeared from within the crystal ball during "Future Lovers" and was smiling a lot during "Get Together."

During "I Love New York," she pointed toward the people in section 3 on the floor right after singing about L.A. being for people who sleep, and then said, "but not you." Lucky rascals! Then she pounded her guitar like there was no tomorrow. It was sooo hot!

Toward the end of "Let It Will Be" I think her mic pack came undone because she seemed a little distracted, but not frazzled. While she was out in the middle of the arena, she sang something along the lines of, "Now I can tell you / that I'm supposed to sing this song." When she was done, she sat on the steps on the main stage, catching her breath. "It’s hot in here...it feels like global warming has caught up with us...maybe I should have a chat with Mr. Bush about it," she wisecracked.

Oh, cut to me, forgetting that she started that bit by saying she was indeed having some technical difficulties, which had kind of sort of affected her brain (Price gave her some punch line music much like he did in I'm Going to Tell You a Secret) and seemed to have affected her crew as well (followed by more punch line music). Then she talked about Bush, which was kind of cute and funny.

Before "Ray of Light" Madonna demanded that we jumped and put our hands in the air, which he happily did. She did say, "This isn't a barbecue," after all. When she was done with "Sorry," she said, "I don't have a problem with men. I have a problem with stupidity!" The audience loved that – it was classic Madonna.

The whole show was spectacular, but my favorite number, I think, was "Drowned World/Substitute for Love," which was a beautiful showcase of her voice. "Ray of Light" and "Music Inferno" were definitely the show-stopping numbers of the night, especially the latter – Miami couldn't get enough of it.

There was no bigger show-stopper than Her Madgesty herself, though, and there never will be.

Photo: Madonname.com.

You Just Wait and See How Much Fun She’s Going to Be

Madonna will be performing the last two American nights of her “Confessions Tour” at the American Airlines Arena this weekend. I. Cannot. Wait.

Fittingly, I have a confession: I have been checking out the fan postings on YouTube, so I know what to expect – horses, a crucifixion, and lots of disco! I know the set list, I know where she spends a great deal of time on stage, and I know she turns it up.

So why would I spend lotsa de casha to see the Queen of Pop?

Well, if catching not one but three shows of her “Re-Invention Tour” (the first time I ever saw her live) a couple of years ago taught me anything, it is that Madonna is well worth it.

Not that I didn’t have a qualm or two about this tour. But making people think, especially her fans, is Madonna’s wont – and I love, love, love her for it.

So that’s what I’m doing this weekend: dancing and singing (so don’t even think to ask me to sit down) and having a blast.

Photo: People.com.

Uma Goodness!

I have long worshipped at the altar of Uma Thurman.

I think she’s a terrific actress and oh-so gorgeous. I think she was robbed – robbed, I tell ya – of an Oscar nomination, at the very least, for her turn in the Kill Bill movies, and I also think nothing can stop her. That is why I think it’s so great to see her trying her hand at making us laugh, which she does quite superbly in My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

Everyone's had a painful parting of the ways with a romantic interest, right? We hurt, we pick up the pieces, and we move on.

Easier said than done – just ask Luke Wilson’s character, Matt Saunders. When he breaks up with his girlfriend, Jenny Johnson (Thurman), he discovers she is actually the reluctant superhero G-Girl. And you know what they say: hell hath no fury like a superhero woman scorned.

While the movie gets off to a bit of slow start and isn’t super by any standards, its saving grace is Thurman. Magnetically beautiful, quite adept at physical comedy, and a total hoot as the banging-her-head-into-a-refrigerator-door jealous, neurotically needy, shark-chucking G-Girl, she is the real reason to sit through it.

Wilson isn’t half bad, either – check out what someone (cough, cough) told E! Online’s Ted Casablanca about him.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: 20th Century Fox.

No Life Preserver Needed, But…

In Lady in the Water, Paul Giamatti plays Cleveland Heep, the modest building manager of The Cove, a place filled with interesting tenants.

One night, he rescues a mysterious young woman named Story (Bryce Dallas Howard) from danger. But Story isn’t any young woman; she is actually a narf, a character from a bedtime story who is trying to make the treacherous journey from our world back to hers.

Soon, Cleveland and the people of The Cove begin to realize they are also integral characters in this story. As he is more and more drawn to her, Cleveland sets out to protect his fragile new friend from the deadly creatures that reside in this fable and are determined to prevent her from returning home.

Expectations for M. Night Shyamalan’s latest couldn’t have been lower, which is surprising because this is the same man who gave us The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, and The Village (in which Howard starred, by the way). This interesting Entertainment Weekly article should help you somewhat understand why.

Here’s the thing, though: Lady in the Water is a departure for Shyamalan. The movie is inventive, all right, but it lacks whimsy – and it’s supposed to be a bedtime story!

The mythology, though quite simple after further analysis, feels a tad too complicated at times, and the storytelling is far too self-important and serious. This renders the movie watching experience a bit awkward, especially when you have a roomful of people laughing when they probably aren’t meant to.

Not bad by any means (it helps that there isn’t a Big Twist, but rather several little ones throughout), Lady in the Water just needed to be lighter to really grasp my interest, which isn’t to say it won’t grasp yours.

My Rating **

Photo: Warner Bros.

Sink Your Teeth Into This, Buffy Fans

Dark Horse Comics will resurrect dearly departed critical darling and cult favorite Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the form of a new comic – penned by creator Joss Whedon himself!

Check out the cover image at right by artist Georges Jeanty.

Scott Brown of EW.com’s Pop Watch reports that as we may recall, “the show ended with the creation of an army of Slayers. Now they're organized, and the tide has turned in favor of the good guys,” which in the Buffyverse means the Chose One and the Scooby Gang are in for one heck of a battle when an "’old enemy’ surfaces."

Welcome back to life (again), Buff!

Photo: EW.com.

Whip’em Good, Michelle!

It was reported today that Michelle Pfeiffer is in final negotiations to join the cast of the movie adaptation of the Broadway hit Hairspray. That’s what I like to call really good news – that and having the Discovery return to Earth safely.

The Tony-winning musical comedy was itself based on the 1988 John Waters cult comedy feature about star-struck teenagers on a local Baltimore dance show.

The erstwhile Catwoman, absent from movie screens since 2002’s White Oleander, would play Velma von Tussel, a former beauty queen who can't move on and is the producer of the dance show. (Pfeiffer will be seen next in this fall’s I Could Never Be Your Woman and next year’s Stardust).

Already cast in Hairspray are John Travolta as Edna Turnblad, Queen Latifah as Motormouth Maybelle, Amanda Bynes as Penny Pingleton, and newcomer Nikki Blonsky as Tracy Turnblad. Adam Shankman (The Wedding Planner, Bringing Down the House) is directing; production is set to begin in the fall for a December 2007 release date.

Let’s just hope that Hollywood doesn’t have another Producers in its hands or else it's going to be hell on wheels!

Photo: Warner Bros. (Batman Returns).

Are You Ready to “Jump”?

As the Queen of Pop would say, “All right, people, we’re just getting this party started!”

Madonnalicious.com reported yesterday that Billboard.com’s Keith Caulfield confirmed recently that “Jump” will be the fourth single off Her Madgesty’s dance sensation Confession on a Dance Floor, following "Hung Up," "Sorry," and "Get Together."

Here's to hoping American radio will give "Jump," which was already featured in the summer release The Devil Wears Prada, the airplay it deserves.

The news comes as the end of the American leg of Madonna’s “Confessions Tour” grows nearer every day (I have to get me a ticket!). She will next cross the pond to play dates in Europe before heading to Japan in September.

Photo: MCB Online.

Must Be Summer Because…It’s Snakes…on a Plane!

The coolest cat in Hollywood, Mr. Samuel L. Jackson, has a new movie coming out in August. It’s called Snakes on a Plane, and as the cleverly straightforward title reveals the movie is about snakes…on a plane.

Never has a movie sounded so bad that you just knew is was going to be good – make that sssssssooo good.

In case you’re wondering about the movie’s plot, a ruthless assassin unleashes a crate full of lethal snakes aboard a packed passenger jet over the Pacific Ocean in order to eliminate a witness in protective custody, leaving it up to Jackson to kick some “motherf---in’” snake ass!

SoaP, as the movie has been dubbed thanks to incessant fan chatter on the Internet pretty much since production was announced, has easily become the cult movie of 2006. It hisses its way into movie theaters Aug. 18.

You can find the teaser trailer and first TV trailer here.

Photo: New Line Cinema.

This Fall Running with Scissors May Be Unsafe Yet Riveting

I love Annette Bening.

This is an actress who, as best evidenced by her most recent turns in American Beauty and Being Julia, is long overdue an Academy Award.

If the trailer for this fall’s Running with Scissors – an adaptation of Augusten Burroughs’ memoir written and directed by Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy – is any indication, she may finally take an Oscar home next year.

In the film, young Augusten Burroughs (Joseph Cross) absorbs experiences that could make for a shocking memoir: the son of an alcoholic father (Alec Baldwin) and an unstable mother (Bening), he is handed off to his mother's therapist, Dr. Finch (Match Point’s Brian Cox) and spends his adolescent years as a member of Finch's bizarre extended family.

Running with Scissors opens Oct. 11. It co-stars Evan Rachel Wood (The Upside of Anger), Joseph Fiennes, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jill Clayburgh.

Photo: TriStar Pictures.

What Booty! $132 Million Is a Lot of Gold Coins

I spent most of the weekend watching sports, which, if you know me, is quite the statement. What were you thinking, Zinédine Zidane?! Congratulations, Roger Federer.

As a result, it is possible I am the only one who did not see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest over the weekend. And I call myself a movie enthusiast!

But can you believe these numbers? Entertainment Weekly's Pop Watch barely could. Not even decidedly mixed reviews could keep crowds away from checking out Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley take another high-seas adventure with a swaggering and swashbuckling Johnny Depp in this sequel, which with a box office gross of just a little more than $132 million set a new record for best three-day opening of all time.

The previous record-holder was Spider-Man, which took in $114.8 million in its first three days in 2002. One thing is for sure, already: it'll be interesting to see who will walk away next summer’s box office champ when Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End open next May.

Photo: Walt Disney Pictures.

Update: It was reported that Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest actually gathered $135.6 million. I have finally seen movie. I found it too long and rather humorless. Actually, I couldn't help but think back to what happened to The Matrix, and how it, much like the first Pirates movie, stood alone quite nicely and how it was kind of tarnished by a couple of simultaneously shot sequels that ultimately proved unnecessary.

The Emmy Nominations: So Many Snubs, So Few Surprises

The nominations for the 58th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards were announced this morning. It has taken most of the day to begin to wrap my head around them – sad, isn’t it?

I still haven’t, actually, and I don’t know if I will since, yet again, Gilmore Girls’ Lauren Graham and Veronica Mars’ Kristen Bell have gone criminally unrecognized.

I was pleasantly surprised more than a few times, though, like when I heard Law & Order: Special Victims Unit’s Christopher Meloni’s name called, at long last. And, oh, I was quite happy when I found out that many of the big-name stars that made guest spots on the Ricky Gervais HBO show Extras were recognized.

You can find the complete of nominees here.

So here is my rant (and Michael Ausiello’s, and Matt Roush’s, and Kristin Veitch’s):

• Desperate Housewives may have suffered quite a sophomore slump, but Marcia Cross was stellar. And Eva Longoria deserved to be invited to the party as a first-time nominee.
• Guess the academy has lost its Lost love. Better to have had it once upon a time than never, right? Yeah, right – you tell that to Battlestar Galactica.
• Recognizing dead comedies (like Malcolm in the Middle, Out of Practice, or the mostly-phoned-in Will & Grace), with the exception of Arrested Development and The Comeback, is not funny.
• Where were any of the cast members of the surviving-and-thriving Scrubs? The show’s best season yet was included in the Best Comedy category, but I guess it acted itself.
• And finally, a question for the ages: Why do voters dislike The WB and UPN so much!? Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars are terrific shows, boasting some of the finest performances anywhere. They never recognized Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Gilmore Girls has one more year to go before it signs off and Veronica Mars needs all the support it can get.

On the other hand, Emmy voters got some things right:

• Lisa Kudrow overcame cancellation to score a deserved nomination for her dear fantastic portrayal of tragically funny Valerie “I don’t need to see that” Cherish in The Comeback.
• Kathy Griffin’s climb up the Hollywood ladder gets a little bit easier as her Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List netted an Outstanding Reality Program nomination.
• My Name Is Earl’s Jaime Pressly is officially a TV star.
• The Office and Steve Carell were singled out (but, sadly, not John Krasinski).
• 24 finally garnered some much-deserved attention in the supporting categories (for Gregory Itzin’s turn as the villainous President Logan and Jean Smart’s performance as the more-than-meets-the-eye First Lady).

The Emmys will be presented Aug. 27 in Los Angeles.

Photo: Amazon.com.

Scene-Stealer: Winona Ryder Is on the Comeback Trail

This Friday, following a four-year absence, disappearing act Winona Ryder returns to movie screens everywhere in Richard Linklater’s A Scanner Darkly. Her last high-profile gig was 2002’s Mr. Deeds…which as you may remember came out on the heels of her even higher-profile December 2001 arrest on shoplifting charges.

Water under the bridge, as they say – Ryder is, indeed, on the comeback trail. As a longtime fan – Edward Scissorhands! Reality Bites! Little Women! – I couldn’t be happier to finally get to see her back on the screen where she so rightfully belongs.

Set in a future world where America has lost the war on drugs, A Scanner Darkly follows the story of an undercover cop, Fred (Keanu Reeves), one of many agents hooked on the popular drug Substance D, which causes its users to develop split personalities. Fred, for instance, is also Bob Arctor, a notorious drug dealer. Along with his superior officers, Fred sets up an elaborate scheme to catch Bob and tear down his operation.

The erstwhile Girl, Interrupted plays Donna in the Philip K. Dick novel-based movie, which is also a must because Linklater gave it a necessarily surreal look by using rotoscope animation, much like he did in 2001’s Waking Life.

Ryder is also currently filming Sex and Death 101, which reunites her with Heathers writer Daniel Waters, and has The Darwin Awards in the can and Alpha Numeric in the pipeline.

Photo: Warner Independent Pictures.

Spider-Man Weaves a Web of Tease

Mark your calendars: your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man will be arriving in theaters on May 4, 2007.

A teaser trailer for Spider-Man 3 made its debut recently; the preview promises a somewhat darker and more complicated story for the web-slinger’s third cinematic outing, as it features a look at a black-suited Spidey, a glimpse of the villainous Sandman, and the introduction of Peter Parker love interest Gwen Stacy.

Joining Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst are James Franco as Peter Parker’s former BFF Harry Osborne, Thomas Haden Church as Flint Marko/Sandman, Topher Grace as Eddie Brock/Venom, and Bryce Dallas Howard (Lady in the Water) as Gwen Stacy.

The countdown has begun.

Photo: Sony Pictures.

Sympathy for the Devil and the Word Players

The Devil Wears Prada, an adaptation of the infamous 2004 roman à clef by onetime assistant to Vogue magazine editrix Anna Wintour-turned-chick-lit princess Lauren Weisberger, is set in the stimulating microcosm that is Manhattan, where whom you wear is just as important if not more than whom you know. At least according to this movie.

It follows the travails of recent college graduate Andrea Sachs, a wide-eyed young journalist who reluctantly takes a position as an assistant at Runway, the Holy Grail of fashion, even though she would much rather be writing serious articles for The New Yorker.

I could write an entire essay on why people really need to start considering that entertainment writing is just as important – and hey, someone’s got to do it! – but I think that if you’re reading this you probably know my take on this matter. All I will say is information, not matter what kind, is important. (In a way, this struggle of Andrea’s was strike 1 for the movie, come to think of it.)

Anyway, I recently heard a snippet of a phone interview between Bravo and Anne Hathaway, who plays Andrea in The Devil Wears Prada. I remember her saying something along the lines of how the movie sort of explores how young people reconcile their idealism with the reality of the world.

In a way, it does just that – albeit in terribly stylish fashion (thanks to costume designer Patricia Field, whose fashion-forward credits include HBO’s Sex and the City). But this breakthrough is by no means inventive; The Devil Wears Prada was a clever title for a generic book and now a clever title for a derivative movie, and not even Chanel, Jimmy Choo, or Prada can help that.

Don’t get me wrong, the movie is rather enjoyable, particularly because of Meryl Streep’s devilish turn as Runway’s editrix Miranda Priestly, a woman so fiercely chic and driven she epitomizes post-modern career womanhood. But it has a bit of a hard time maneuvering its way out of the many shtick-y corners it pits itself into in its very high Manolos. (Streep, by the way, can also be seen in the enjoyable ensemble A Prairie Home Companion.)

For one, The Devil Wears Prada features an almost obligatory makeover: Andrea goes from drab to fab almost as quickly as she not only compromises her idealism but also her values (only to eventually find herself once again, naturally). How passé!

And Miranda’s viciousness proves to be a statement of sorts, of course, but as we’re shown a side of hers she doesn’t allow anyone or even herself to know about, the movie asks that we forgive her a little, and we shouldn’t have to.

We should, however, want to be smarter. Or at least I did after journeying into the world of Will Shortz, the crossword puzzle editor at The New York Times. Known to millions as NPR's "Puzzle Master," Shortz (pictured, at left) has spent his entire lifetime studying, creating, and editing puzzles, and has built a huge following along the way.

Wordplay introduces us to Shortz's diehard fans – which include President Bill Clinton, Sen. Bob Dole, The Daily Show's Jon Stewart, the Indigo Girls, and New York Yankee Mike Mussina – and lets us in on why more than 50 million Americans do crossword puzzles every week.

It also takes us to Stamford, CT, where the annual American Crossword Puzzle Tournament has been held for almost 30 years. Hosted and directed by Shortz, the tournament is the nation's oldest and largest crossword competition – and a true battle for almost 500 competitors.

I remember solving crossword puzzles with my dad once upon a time, so Wordplay proved most enjoyable. It also proved to be an eye-opener: I’m not very smart…at least crossword puzzle-smart. But if this documentary had been a high-stakes pop culture quiz, then perhaps I would’ve had a shot at figuring out some of the clues with the people on screen.

Either way, Wordplay is a three-letter word for a good time. So is The Devil Wears Prada (seriously… it may be a little too I've-seen-it-done-before-yet but it is effective, and any movie that features two Madonna songs, "Jump" and "Vogue," is fine by me).

My Rating *** (for both)

Photos: 20th Century Fox (The Devil Wears Prada); IFC Films (Wordplay).

Back to the Super

Director Bryan Singer and screenwriters Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris (X2: X-Men United) picked a pretty self-explanatory title to tell this new chapter in the story of Superman, arguably the world’s favorite superhero, and his alter ego Clark Kent.

Following a mysterious absence of five years, Superman (played by newcomer Brandon Routh) has indeed returned to Earth. It is without further ado and with great wide-eyed pleasure that I declare Superman Returns a triumphant homecoming for a dear friend.

The movie picks up right where the Christopher Reeve-starring Superman (1978) and Superman II (1980) left off. As we know, the Man of Steel was born on Krypton, a planet that is no longer, and was raised by adoptive parents on a farm in Kansas.

Having adopted his Clark Kent persona, working at the Daily Planet in Metropolis and pining after his beloved Lois Lane (Blue Crush’s Kate Bosworth), Superman has made it his mission to fight for "truth, justice, and all that stuff."

But when scientists discovered what they believed could be Krypton, Superman had to see it for himself, and so he left Earth.

While he was gone, crime rose in Metropolis and everywhere else, and Lois Lane moved on with her life. She wrote the Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial "Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman," got engaged to quite a man, and had a son who is about 5.

Oh, and his archenemy, Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey), was sprung from prison dead-set on using Superman's secrets for his own personal gain and glory. Talk about coming home to a mess!

As I said, though, if anyone can rise above these challenges – in this case literally – it is our Superman. And that he does in Superman Returns, a terrific superhero movie with enough action and gravitas to restore an iconic character to glory.

Routh fills the famous Superman suit beautifully (and that’s not a take on his good looks…or maybe it is, come to think about it), and makes the character his own. He may not be as imposing as Reeve was when he donned it just yet, but I am looking forward to seeing Routh grow into the role.

The same goes for Bosworth as Lois Lane, who had to win me over more than anyone would have thought it (let me just say that, from the movie’s trailer, I had issues with her hair, if you will).

The story is – and I’m loosely quoting Singer – quite the "chick flick," told as much from Superman/Clark Kent’s perspective as from Lois Lane’s.

By not dwelling for too long, if at all, in our hero’s dual personality, Singer manages to deal rather nicely with the issue at hand – the Man of Steel’s return – and set up the story for future exploration of this particular conflict (and you know there will be sequels).

The one thing I could say the movie lacked was a show-stopping fight between Superman and Lex Luthor.

The epic battle between good and evil that ought to have accompanied this epic return is all-too brief and perhaps somewhat unremarkable (then again, for as much a threat as Lex Luthor is, dealing with his mischief is more pressing, so I’ll let this slide for now).

Seeing Superman return is like seeing a good old friend come back into our lives. The world is much different from when we first met him, but I’m glad to see he isn’t.

My Rating ***1/2

Photo: Warner Bros.

R.I.P. Mr. Spelling

Aaron Spelling, the record-setting producer of countless TV guilty pleasures, including Charlie’s Angels, Dynasty, Beverly Hills, 90210, Melrose Place, and Charmed, passed away yesterday at age 83. He had suffered a stroke last Sunday, but remained under at doctor’s care in his home in Los Angeles.

Wife Candy and son Randy were at his side at the time of his death, though daughter Tori was reportedly not present. Her portrayal of her parents in her semi-autobiographical VH-1 comedy series, so noTORIous, is believed to have caused a months-long rift between the erstwhile Donna Martin and them, though People reports that she had reconciled with her father.

Photo: CBSNews.com.

Craving a Small but Tasty Treat This Season?

I know you are all waiting for the return of the Man of Steel next Wednesday. Having seen the small little production already, I can almost guarantee that the wait will be well worth it, as the return of Superman is a crowd-pleaser that will appeal to the wide-eyed child within everyone on this planet.

So – tee hee – buck up, and wait just a few more days.

I ask you to wait because that is what you’ll have to do if you want to watch Strangers with Candy, a prequel to the critically acclaimed Comedy Central 1999-2000 series that opens in New York on the same day as Superman Returns.

For this reason alone you so need to check it out. Amy Sedaris, the series and movie’s co-creator and star, is not only one heck of a funny lady (as evidenced by her appearance on last night’s Late Show with David Letterman) – she is also a brave one.

The movie follows the story of Jerri Blank, a 46 year-old ex-junkie and ex-con who emerges from her long prison stay with a special goodbye prison riot with her cellmates and returns to high school in a bid to start her life over, only to confront the most dangerous gang of all – the cool kids.

After a long bus ride, Jerri arrives at her childhood home to find that her father is now in a coma and has re-married and fathered a child. Although mortified by her stepdaughter's return, his new wife begrudgingly allows Jerri to move in when the family doctor suggests that her presence might bring her father out of his 32-year coma.

Hilarity ensues.

Strangers with Candy co-creators Stephen Colbert and Paul Dinello also appear, while Sarah Jessica Parker, Justin Theroux (Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle), Matthew Broderick, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ian Holm, and Allison Janney cameo.

Photo: ThinkFilm.

Cannes, Schmannes – I Can’t Wait for Southland Tales

In May, the director of the cult sensation Donnie Darko, Richard Kelly, premiered his latest, Southland Tales, at the Cannes Film Festival. Recently, Entertainment Weekly reported in its online Pop Watch that the screening "went over badly."

The dispatch went over to say that people in the audience hated the film, and that with few exceptions, the reviews were "eviscerating, with what seems like an emphasis on the word ‘incomprehensible.’" Didn’t critics say the same about Donnie Darko?

And yet, I can’t wait to see Southland Tales. (The film doesn’t have a domestic distributor yet, and, given its reception, it seems unlikely it will be shown in America as it was in Cannes.)

I sure hope it does get picked up, if anything because Kelly fans will want to see just what he has done with his ensemble cast, which includes The Rock, Seann William Scott, Sarah Michelle Gellar, former SNL MVP Cheri Oteri, Justin Timberlake, Mandy Moore, and Miranda Richardson, among others.

The story, written by Kelly, sounds like a humdinger. Set in L.A. in 2008 during a three-day heat wave just before a huge 4th of July celebration, an amnesia-stricken action star meets up with an adult film star developing her own reality television project and a police officer who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.

Incomprehensible or not, Southland Tales sounds rather original. For an industry that likes to ascribe filmmakers words like "auteur" and "visionary," Hollywood would prove itself terrible shortsighted if it didn’t let Kelly show his audience the film he wanted to make.

Photo: Impawards.net.

Britney Wants Us to Leave Her Alone, Y'all!

I got super inside word today that while everyone was buzzing about Britney Spears’ not-going-to-happen birthing trip to Namibia and her semi-moving waterworks display on Dateline (for the hard-hitting-and-never-glib Matt Lauer and the world’s sake), Madonna's onetime kissing buddy had private-jetted it into Miami for a quick family getaway.

I guess she needed it after excellently channeling the cheap drag queen within on TV – that makeup…those awful hair extensions…and that chipped nail polish! Yuck.

I mean, whatever happened to the Britney of yesteryear (check her out at right)? Pop tart needs to hire herself a stylist to help her look youthful, fresh, and fun once more, already!

Anyway, she and her scrub husband, Kevin Federline, a.k.a. K-Fed (seriously?), arrived in town for him to promote his upcoming CD (first Paris, and now him...the end must be near) and are expected to hit South Beach nightclub Mansion tonight for a good friend of theirs’ birthday bash.

The two, and baby Sean Preston (no word on whether they brought their "manny" along for the trip), were the picture of happiness at the beach yesterday (Spears did tell Lauer that life with Federline is, "awesome").

People magazine has a couple of pictures on their website, which you can see here and here.

Hey, if it makes her happy. She did tell us it was her prerogative, y'all.

Photo: Amazon.com.

Update: Britney didn't show up at Mansion, but K-Fed sure did (and played DJ for the crowd, which even for this pseudo-celeb is much too cliché). Rent's Taye Diggs also turned up at the club, sans wife Idina Menzel, though (do they ever do anything fun like this together?).

Whom Would You Hang With This Weekend?

Opening this weekend is Nacho Libre, a movie I’ve been anticipating for quite a while now.

In the movie, Jack Black plays Ignacio (his friends call him Nacho), a Mexican friar who moonlights as a lucha libre wrestler to raise money for his orphanage (and to impress a woman).

If the trailer was any indication, this is going to be a really fun time at the movie theater. (Nacho Libre was co-written, with School of Rock’s Mike White and Jerusha Hess, and directed by Napoleon Dynamite’s Jared Hess, so expect irreverence and hilarious maladjustment galore.)

Slowing things down a little bit is a couple who first captivated us more than 10 years ago in Speed.

In The Lake House, Sandra Bullock plays an in independent-minded doctor who once occupied an unusual lakeside home – and who has begun exchanging love letters with its newest resident, a frustrated architect (played by Keanu Reeves).

When they discover that they are actually living two years apart, they must try to unravel the mystery behind their extraordinary mailbox before it is too late – but for what?

The movie’s trailer had me hooked me the second I heard the hypnotic “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane, even though it left me thinking it may turn up to be a bit too Frequency-ish.

Finally, the Sydney Pollack-helmed Sketches of Frank Gehry takes a look at the life and work of the renowned architect. The biodoc features commentary by, among others, Julian Schnabel, Dennis Hopper, Bob Geldof, Milton Wexler, and Gehry himself.

So whom will you hang with this weekend? Will it be a funny wrestler, a reunited couple, or a master architect?

Photos: Paramount Pictures (Nacho Libre); Warner Bros. (The Lake House).

Could This Be Another Sign of the End of the World?

Well…it’s happened. We finally get to see and hear a side of Paris Hilton we haven’t yet as the heir-head tries her hand at singing.

Seriously, the four horsemen can’t be all that far behind, right (and I don’t mean that in a naughty way!).

Her first single, the reggae-lite "Stars Are Blind" is out, and though my first impression was, "Uh, can you say overproduced Gwen Stefani wannabe?" I have to admit the song is pretty darn catchy. It's lyrically mediocre at best and outstandingly poor at...not its best. It's probably going to be huge.

By the way, I caught a phone interview between Hilton and Miami’s Y-100.7 FM last week, in which the celebutante said it took her this long to get the record done and out because, "I was shy."

You don’t say. I guess there’s nothing like a semi-steamy sex tape with another gal's hubby to take the edge off, though.

And get this – she announced that she's going on a European tour soon, which, naturally, "is going to be really hot."

You've been warned. Now check out her new video in which she frolics on the beach with a hot stud while vamping it up like only she can.

Photo: AOL Music.

Psst…She Has Something to Say to You

Warner Bros. Records announced today that I’m Going to Tell You a Secret, Madonna’s provocative documentary of her stunning and highly acclaimed “Re-Invention Tour” of 2004, is scheduled to be released on June 20.

Madonna is currently in the middle of the American leg of her Confessions Tour.

Helmed by Jonas Åkerlund (the director of her "Ray of Light" and "Music" videos), I’m Going to Tell You a Secret gives us an up close and personal view of the artist’s daily life while out on the road. It also features beautifully filmed sequences of the undisputed Queen of Pop performing some of hits both old ("Vogue," “Like a Prayer”) and new ("Nobody Knows Me”) and a profoundly moving version of the John Lennon hit "Imagine."

You can read my review here.

Photo: Amazon.com.

Eclectic Cast Voices New Animated Film this Christmas

In Luc Besson’s upcoming Arthur and the Minimoys, 10-year-old Arthur has a lot on his plate: a real estate developer is about to snap up his grandma's home – and there's no way Arthur is going to just hang around and see this happen.

In a bid to save the house from being demolished, Arthur (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’s Freddie Highmore) goes to the "other side," looking for his grandpa’s much-fabled hidden treasure in the land of the Minimoys, a tiny people living in harmony with nature.

There, Arthur meets Princess Selenia (voiced by this icon) and her brother, and together they set off to look for the treasure that will save his beloved grandma’s home.

Arthur and the Minimoys is scheduled to arrive in theaters this Christmas. It co-stars Mia Farrow and also features the voices of David Bowie and Snoop Dogg.

Photo: Actuacine.net.

What the Reviews – and I – Say About The Break-Up He Said/She Said

Dubbed the movie starring pop culture phenomenon Vaughniston, a.k.a. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, The Break-Up follows the story of Gary and Brooke, a Chicago couple who, after two years together, break up but stay together as neither will movie out of the condo they co-own together.

I finally caught The Break-Up last night. I wanted to last weekend, but to be honest the poor reviews kept me away. But when I heard that a couple of exes had gotten in the way of a bunch of X-Men’s hopes of a second week of top moneymaking, I knew that I’d broken up with Vaughniston much too soon.

I know – could I be any shallower!

I have to say, though, having finally seen the movie, I really don’t get why other critics found The Break-Up to be "broken," "dull and trivial," or "a mess" – in other words, "a major disappointment."

I found it to be quite funny (at least the first 50 minutes or so), and rather authentic (throughout and especially the other 50 minutes), if a bit long.

This isn’t your typical romantic comedy – both Vaughn and Aniston said so while doing press – because it has a twist to it. The reason, I believe, most critics and some in the audience have found the movie disappointing is they’ve been spoiled by years of romantic comedies ending wrapped up in a bow.

That’s just not real – people don’t get the happy ending as often as their cinematic counterparts do. The movie is supposed to be messy, and Gary and Brooke are supposed to be "unsympathetic" and "squabble and snarl" because that’s what people do when they reach the end of the love road.

I will be the first to tell you that movies ought to be escapism at its finest. But the movie is called The Break-Up. Enjoy it – odds are it’ll be the only one you ever will.

Photo: Universal Pictures.

Get to It, TV Fans!

Every year, the lovely and intrepid Kristin Veitch over at E! Online gives couch potatoes everywhere the chance to nominate our favorite actors and shows of the past season for a Tater Top Award.

This is by far the coolest award and quite possibly the highest honor an actor can receive because it comes from us, the people who tune in week after week.

That, and it’s a really good way to show the good people at the Emmys (and to a lesser degree the Golden Globes and Screen Actors Guild Awards) which shows ought to be recognized.

Past Tater Top winners include oft-snubbed actors like Gilmore Girls’ Lauren Graham and Scrubs’ Zach Braff, as well as cult favorites the Emmys have consistently failed to even acknowledge, like Alias, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Veronica Mars.

So props to Kristin for, yet again, giving us a fantastic chance to show our appreciation to the cancelled-to-soon Invasion and the sure-to-be-missed Arrested Development, the I-have-yet-to-check-it-out Battlestar Galactica, as well as bona fide hits Grey’s Anatomy and 24.

Get voting!

Photo: ABC.com (Grey's Anatomy).

An Inconvenient Truth That Warrants a Necessary Look

In the new documentary An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore, the man who, as he puts it, "used to be the next president of the United States," takes an uncompromising look at the hot topic (no pun intended) of global warming.

The movie is quite informative and compelling (this in spite of Gore’s rather robotic yet concise presentation of facts). Once everything was said and done, though, I couldn’t help but feel as though the former vice president offered little in the way of a somewhat concrete solution.

Yes, we can all help reverse what human activity has created. But is it too little, too late?

And was Gore pointing the finger (not only at the current administration, but also at those who came before and the choices they had and continue to have to make)?

Of course he was – and he is to be applauded and supported for it. Clearly, the planet’s well being is an issue for which Gore has tremendous passion and concern.

Having seen him vigorously fight the decision that kept him from taking office in 2000 (America really elected him, after all), I cannot help but hope to think that Earth has a good advocate in him. We should all try and do our part as well.

Our future is in our hands – we just need to let go of our gas-guzzling SUVs (or at least pay attention when we drive them) and begin to take better care of our environment to ensure that the next generations don’t suffer the consequences of post-modern life’s indiscriminate pollution.

Gore has traveled the world delivering a presentation on the global climate change and its effects. As the title of the movie reveals, this issue is an inconvenient truth that indeed warrants a necessary looking into.

Yet, I’d still like to ask Gore just what can we all really do about this common problem of ours. Is this not a problem that the governments of the world can handle (better)? Can you and I really effect change in our world?

Of course we can – and we must. The truth is every little bit really does help.

My Rating ***

Photo: Paramounts Classics.

Dawn of the Bond

Have you seen the trailer for Casino Royale (Nov. 17) yet?

Well, get to it!

As you may or may not know, Casino Royale examines James Bond's formative years, as he goes from being a mere "blunt instrument" to become one of finest double-0 agents to ever serve on Her Majesty’s secret service.

Playing Bond this time around is the smoldering Daniel Craig (Enduring Love, Layer Cake) a mighty fine, if controversial, choice of an actor, if you ask me.

After watching this trailer, I’ve only got three letters to describe him and the revitilization of the franchise: H. O. T.

Photo: MGM/Columbia Pictures.

Brittany Murphy on Video for DJ Paul Oakenfold

In April, I told you about how Brittany Murphy’s singing aspirations had materialized, as she purrs her way into the music scene with "Faster Kill Pussycat," one of the tracks on DJ Paul Oakenfold’s "A Lively Mind," which also features Pharrell Williams and Spitfire.

Well now the hot track has a hot video to go with it. Check it out here – I really think that this song can be huge this summer.

Who would have thought it; I mean, as I mentioned in a previous post, I used to find Murphy rather annoying way back when she was making her way in Hollywood.

But now…now, much like her, I’m singing a new tune, and thinking that she just may be (once again?) the It Girl of the season – and for singing, no less!

Photo: Amazon.com

The Emmys Are Coming!

TV Guide published its Dream Emmy Ballot last week – yes, it’s that time of the year again.

I was thrilled that they remembered to single out Arrested Development and The Comeback’s Lisa Kudrow; gave a nod to The Office’s John Krasinski and two 24 supporting players; and continued to show their support for Gilmore Girls’ Lauren Graham and Veronica Mars’ Kristen Bell.

Yet, I cannot help but add my two cents.

Why was there no mention of Invasion? Sure, the show’s been cancelled, and considering this it should probably be recognized in the writing category at the Emmys, of which TV Guide made no prediction.

After all, Invasion boasted some of the most intriguing, albeit frustratingly slow-paced at times, storytelling I have seen on TV in recent years, though, and I am going to miss it so. A nice shout-out would've been very cool.

And where were HBO’s Extras and Rome?

I love TV Guide, and I live for columnist Michael Ausiello (not to play favorites, Kristin Veitch over on E! Online is also a weekly must read).

I love that they singled out quality television (Grey’s Anatomy, Scrubs, The Office, My Name Is Earl, Weeds, Entourage, Lost, The Closer). And I love that they fairly gave nods (or not) to the show(s) that will unsurprisingly score by the boatload when actual nominations are announced July 6 (Desperate Housewives, I’m looking at you!).

But couldn't they have at least mentioned some of the other deserving shows of the past season?

Photo: UPN (Veronica Mars).

X-Men's Last Stand Just as X-cellent as Previous Efforts

I saw director Brett Ratner's X-Men: The Last Stand last night and I thought it was pretty good.

I really don't understand why a significant contingent of insiders out in Hollywood made it its mission to challenge the studio's decision to replace original helmer Bryan Singer (who opted to do the upcoming Superman Returns instead) with the guy who gave us the Rush Hour movies. After all, most of the same people were really far up Ratner's you-know-what in praise once.

I’ve met the guy (we talked for After the Sunset) and he could not have been any cooler. Sure, you can tell that this X movie didn’t involve the exact same team, but that is not to say it’s any less entertaining or satisfying. If anything, the movie has a different sensitivity, which only adds to the sense of urgency its plot calls for.

The Last Stand certainly stands apart, tonally at least, from Singer's efforts. It caps off the trilogy nicely in terms of tying loose ends from X-Men and X2: X-Men United, tells its own story, and sets the stage for potential sequels (though the studio doesn't really have any plans for a fourth chapter anytime soon but rather a Wolverine spin-off).

As you probably know, in this movie a vaccine to "cure" mutants has been developed – but can you really fix a gene (in this case the X gene) that makes you who you are? Anyway, it gives mutants a choice: they can retain their gifts, as Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart, pictured on set with Ratner) and his students call their powers, or give them up to become human.

But while Xavier understands why some mutants would consider this option – Rogue (Anna Paquin), I’m looking at you – the always-contrary Magneto (Ian McKellen) believes this "cure" is nothing but an opportunity for humans to obliterate all mutants.

And so, opposing viewpoints set the stage for one more battle, as Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), Storm (Halle Berry), Iceman (Shawn Ashmore), newcomers Angel (Six Feet Under's Ben Foster), Kitty Pryde (Hard Candy’s Ellen Page), and Beast (Kelsey Grammer) take a stand against Magneto and his Brotherhood.

What I will reveal at this point – the only thing I will reveal, actually – is that perhaps Ratner's movie lacks the sort of offbeat humor that was as predominant in Singer's entries as was the action, though it is there. As is the Dark Phoenix storyline (ish). And loss. There is loss in this one. Sad loss.

Having said this, in terms of mythology, I don't know much about what kind of research went into the script, but I was glad to recognize certain aspects from the animated series of the late-1990s. I’m confident that the X franchise will be revisited sometime soon in the future.

Photo: 20th Century Fox.

This Summer, the World Is Madonna's Dance Floor

Tomorrow, Madonna embarks on her "Confessions Tour" in Los Angeles, for which she promises to "pull out all the stops" as she makes her way across major U.S. cities (including Las Vegas, Phoenix, Chicago, Boston, New York, and Miami), Canada, Europe, and Japan.

Yet I cannot help but wonder if perhaps it’s too much too soon. After all, her hit "Reinvention Tour" was only two years ago. Is it really necessary for her to tour again after a couple of summers?

"I'm going to turn the world into one big dance floor," Madonna said back in April when the tour was announced. (Oh, yeah? Then how come there’s no South America or Australia on the schedule?) Surely, if anyone can do this it is the Queen of Pop, who at 47 has never looked or sounded better.

Am I excited about the tour? You bet your leotard I am.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that she’s coming to town. I just think that Madonna could’ve spent a little more time building up the success of her last album, Confessions on a Dance Floor, stateside, before touring, since it was such a smash hit everywhere else.

For one, she should not have waited four months between the release, as singles, of the catchy "Hung Up" and "Sorry." Why was that? Oh, and get this – she's not releasing "Get Together" until the end of July.

And why hasn’t she tapped into some sort of advertisement tie-in for "Jump"?

These aren’t questions that only I am thinking about. Other fans are, too.

Also, since the whole premise of the "Confessions Tour" is to make the world into "one big dance floor," why has she reportedly included the undeniably slow numbers "Live to Tell," Drowned World/Substitute for Love," and "Paradise (Not for Me)" on the set list?

(Hey, at least she's doing "Like a Virgin" – I should just shut my trap, even though she's not doing "Holiday" for the first time ever – and who knows, perhaps she's re-invented those numbers for this tour.)

Again, Madonna can do whatever she wants (as she does remarkably well so often); I’ll try to be there to dance and sing, get up, and do my thing. But, couldn’t she have included more upbeat, dance-y songs like "Physical Attraction," "Love Profusion," "Everybody," and "Keep It Together" in this upcoming outing?

In the end, none of it really matters – the "Confessions Tour" will be the hottest ticket this summer. I just wish I didn’t have all these questions. It’s called anticipation, I suppose, which is something Madonna still manages to create every step of the way.

P.S.: Rumor has it that Guy Ritchie will accompany the missus on the road, and that he will document the tour on film à la Truth or Dare and I'm Going to Tell You a Secret. Not for nothing, but that sounds like a really cool rumor.

Photo: CBSNews.com.

New Sept. 11 Movie Trailer Debuts Today

FYI: If you go to see The Da Vinci Code, be warned the trailer for director Oliver Stone's World Trade Center, debuts today.

Due out Aug. 9, the movie comes on the heels of United 93.

It follows the true story of Officer Will Jimeno (Crash's Michael Peña) and Sgt. John McLoughlin (Nicolas Cage), two Port Authority police officers who rushed into one of the burning towers on Sept. 11 to help rescue people, but became trapped themselves when the tower collapsed.

The movie co-stars Maggie Gyllenhaal and Maria Bello as Jimeno and McLouglin's wives, respectively.

Photo: Paramount Pictures.

For Fun Go Over the Hedge

Spring has sprung in DreamWorks Animation’s Over the Hedge, a cute and funny and smart and vibrantly animated movie that’s sure to appeal to both kids and adults just the same.

I know I liked it – a lot.

Since M:i:III is being touted a Tom Cruise disappointment, Poseidon pretty much sunk (and stunk), and The Da Vinci Code got mixed-to-bad buzz off its Cannes premiere, I’m guessing Over the Hedge is going to be this season’s first bona fide critical and commercial hit.

The movie follows the adventures of tortoise Verne and his woodland critter friends as they awaken from their long winter's nap…to discover that a tall, green "thing" has mysteriously cropped up right through the middle of their home.

Enter RJ (voiced by a terrific Bruce Willis), an opportunistic raccoon, who explains that the world beyond the hedge is the "gateway to the good life," where peculiar creatures called humans live to eat, rather than eat to live.

Suspicious and even a little jealous of RJ, the ever-cautious Verne (voiced by Garry Shandling) wants to keep his melting-pot family – which includes an overprotective possum and his daughter, a self-conscious skunk, and an ADD-addled squirrel – safely on their side of the hedge.

But, proving the adage that one man's garbage is another man's – or rather animal's – treasure, the manipulative RJ tries to convince the band that there is little to fear and everything to gain from their over-indulgent new neighbors. (RJ, of course, has an agenda of his own.)

Eventually, though, RJ and Verne form an unlikely friendship as they learn to co-exist with – and even exploit – this strange new world called suburbia.

As you can imagine, Over the Hedge is filled with messages for kids (family and friendship are important, as is honesty and teamwork) and adults (slow down, take a moment to enjoy what you have).

It is really quite easy to get over any of this because the woodland creature’s adventures as so amusing – there are hearty laughs for all.

Not to mention, the talent voicing them is tremendously entertaining – Wanda Sykes as Stella the skunk and Steve Carell (go The Office!) as Hammy the squirrel are especially noteworthy.

My Rating ****

Photo: DreamWorks Animation.

Poseidon Sinks; You Don't Have To

What would summer be without a remake or a disaster movie – after all, both genres offer distinct possibilities for a fun time, which is kind of the point of summer to begin with, no? But what do you get when you flatly combine the two (this is too easy)?

A disaster of a remake, that's what.

I told ya it was too easy.

You know what Poseidon (a remake of Irwin Allen’s The Poseidon Adventure of 1972) is all about, though, so you can see where I’m going with this.

When a rogue wave capsizes the titular luxury cruise ship in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean, a small group of survivors finds itself forming an unlikely alliance in a battle for their lives.

You’ve got the reluctant hero (Josh Lucas), who ignores the captain's orders to wait below for possible rescue and sets out to find his own way to safety.

There’s also a desperate father (Kurt Russell) searching for his daughter (The Day After Tomorrow’s Emmy Rossum) and her fiancé (Rumor Has It’s Mike Vogel), a single mother (Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason’s Jacinda Barrett’s and her wise-beyond-his-years son, an anxious stowaway (Mia Maestro, from TV’s Alias) and a depressed gay man (Richard Dreyfuss).

Determined to fight their way to the surface, the group sets off through the disorienting maze of twisted steel, making their way up the upside down wreckage as the unstable ship rapidly fills with water.

I never had any high expectations for Poseidon, which was directed by disaster-meister Wolfgang Petersen (The Perfect Storm, The Day After Tomorrow). It being a disaster summer movie (though not one of Petersen’s most satisfying), I expected it to be an edge-of-you-seat thrill ride.

Instead, I found it derivative, clumsily edited (especially in the beginning) and written (character development is telegraphed at best, though it is clear that someone really likes Lucas in hero mode), and often cheap-looking (the opening shot reminded me of a beyond enhanced – read faux – architectural rendition). The body count is well-paced, though.

Having said this, Poseidon will probably make a boatload of money at the box office, precisely because it is so mindless. The biggest star of this movie is the rogue wave, of course. It’s too bad that she comes and goes much too quickly.

My Rating **

Photo: Warner Bros.

Lindsay Lohan's Living in the Fastlane...So Try to Keep Up

I really like La Lohan, and I am not ashamed to say so.

I think she's really hot and really talented. I have both of her CDs (Speak and A Little More Personal (Raw)...got 'em!), which I listen and dance to every week – I even got to tell her so at last year's MTV VMAs – and I've seen all of her movies (Mean Girls is so fetch!).

So I'm really looking forward to catching this Friday's Just My Luck and A Prairie Home Companion (June 9). The latter is a Robert Altman-directed ensemble indie, while the former is Lohan's first romantic comedy, in which she plays Ashley, the luckiest woman in the world, whose good fortune is swapped for a handsome stranger’s terrible misfortune after the two share a kiss.

What I like the most about her is that even on a kind-of-grumpy morning like today, Lohan's still more enthralling than most starletbots. That's because she's got more moxie and sass of the charming kind, which is why the tabloids spread rumors about her and what not.

I'm not saying she's perfect. But any gal that can not just say "It's like, Yeah, motherf---er, I'm fine" (to her detractors in the now infamous Vanity Fair cover story), but also get her point across, is a fine gal in my book. And a fun one at that (I've seen her party – sorry...nothing scandalous to report about that occasion).

Photo: 20th Century Fox.

Your Weekend’s Mission: Heart Keri Russell

I just know you’re probably wondering, Keri who?

Well…we can’t all be in the loop.

Russell, best know to many as the titular fickle pickle from the dearly departed WB show Felicity, is, in no short measure, the catalyst to what transpires in Mission: Impossible III.

A catalyst, per Dictionary.com, is a substance, usually used in small amounts relative to the reactants, that modifies and increases the rate of a reaction without being consumed in the process.

Such is Russell’s presence in M:i:III, and as it has been in other movies before it (most recently in the overlooked The Upside of Anger). Even in the smallest of roles, she elevates her co-stars’ game while remaining memorable and quietly powerful and revealing new things about her talent along the way (she kicks it good in a ballistic action scene).

Russell’s a star, and seeing her shine brighter and brighter every year, slowly but surely, is fascinating, heartwarming, and just a little bit frustrating (because she should be everywhere by now – but she’s much too low key for that...unlike some people...and I love her for it). So your mission this weekend, should you choose to accept it, is to discover her.

This should be easy.

M:i:III finds IMF agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) retired from active duty, though he has remained involved with the agency to train new recruits (like the one played by Russell). Hunt is drawn back into action when Owen Davian (Capote’s Philip Seymour Hoffman), a conscienceless international weapons and information provider, hits too close to home and eventually kidnaps his unaware fiancée (Michelle Monaghan).

As mentioned in a previous thread, J.J. Abrams (the mastermind behind TV’s Felicity, Alias, and Lost), making his feature-film directorial debut here, has revitalized the franchise by showing us what Hunt is up to when not in spy mode.

He an co-writers Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci (both Alias vets) have done a terrific job at balancing the respective cerebral and visual elements of the first Impossible movies to complement them with a much-needed jolt of character development that should help ensure another Mission for Hunt.

As a result, M:i:III is, for those familiar with Abrams’ oeuvre, quite Alias-ish (the music was even composed by longtime collaborator Michael Giacchino, and look, there's frequent Abrams player Greg Grunberg), perhaps a bit too much.

I have seen Jennifer Garner try to compartmentalize her spy work with her personal life and go on missions that were on the impossible side on TV. In this movie, Cruise’s Hunt goes through a lot of the same things Garner’s Sydney Bristow has, so, and strictly speaking as an Alias and Abrams fan, M:i:III isn’t the most original.

It’s still a lot of fun, though, as Hunt and his team – including his old friend Luther Strickell (Ving Rhames), transportation expert Declan (Match Point’s Jonathan Rhys Meyers), and background operative Zhen (newcomer Maggie Q) – travel the globe to save the day.

And, really, I’ll watch Russell in anything she is in, however short her screen time is (she and Abrams were much more a selling point than Cruise and his over-the-top promotional tour could’ve ever been).

She truly is the match that sparks the M:i:III fuse (cue in the theme song), one that should burn nicely into blockbusterdom. Now go on and complete your mission.

My Rating ***

Photo: Paramount Pictures.

This Summer’s Leading Man is…Nacho Libre!

So I went to see Mission: Impossible III last night.

I liked it very much – J.J. Abrams (TV's Alias, Lost) has done a terrific job at balancing the respective cerebral and visual elements of the first Impossible movies and complementing them with a much-needed jolt of character development that should help ensure another Mission for Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt.

That, and M:i:III is, for those familiar with Abrams’ oeuvre, the closest thing to an Alias movie that we will – and should – ever come close to getting…but more on that Friday.

Before the movie started, though, I got to watch the trailer for the upcoming Jack Black release Nacho Libre, which up to that moment I had pretty much paid zilch attention to.

I can now honestly say that I cannot wait for Nacho Libre, in which Black stars as Ignacio (his friends call him Nacho), a Mexican priest who moonlights as a lucha libre wrestler to raise money for his orphanage, to open on June 16.

So funny!

I mean, just take a look at the poster. Now take a look at the trailer. Now tell me that Nacho Libre is not the leading man of summer.

You can’t, can ya?

Didn’t think so.

Photo: Paramount Pictures.