Tina Fey Thinks the Oscars Can Suck It...

And the award for most deceptive headline of the day goes to me...according to me.

Nah, Tina Fey doesn’t think the Oscars can suck it, but she does not see herself hosting the show any time soon, much to the chagrin of just about anyone with a pulse and a smart sense of the funny and that of recent host with the most (?) Seth MacFarlane.

“I just feel that gig is so hard.

“Especially for, like, a woman – the amount of months that would be spent try on dresses alone....” she said. “No way.”

Ha!

For the record, I think Fey would kill and take names.

Photo: Glamour.com.

Seeking a Family at the End of the Road

Peter Dinklage just might make the most interesting leading man.

The Game of Thrones Emmy winner is gonna star in A Long Way Home, an epic adventure about friendship, courage, magic, adventure, and the lengths to which one boy will go to reunite his family.

Set decorator and production designer Paki Smith (Batman Begins, John Carter) will make his directing debut with the project.

Production is set to begin in April.

Photo: NYTimes.com.

Prince Cooker

Jeez, and I here I was thinking Prince Harry couldn’t get any hotter.

The royal put on his best Paddington Bear apron to attend a cooking class during a visiting to the Kananelo Centre for the Deaf in Lesotho, Africa, yesterday. And – you know it – he was a hit.

HRH cooks!

And that’s hot.

Photo: People.com.

Update: Urgh, now he’s just showing off.

On top of the aforementioned, Prince Harry went and paid tribute to his mother, the late Princess Diana, during a speech he gave at this Sentebale gala in Johannesburg, South Africa.

Atta mama’s boy!

Anna Kendrick Takes on Radio

Well this is aca-mazin’.

Anna Kendrick’s wow moment from last fall’s sleeper-turned-cult hit Pitch Perfect, “Cups” (watch the actress recreate the magic on Letterman here) will be getting some radio love beginning on March 26. 

When she’s gone? Heck, girlfriend ain’t goin’ nowhere.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, Imma go On Demand Pitch Perfect now.

Photo: Collider.com.

A Horror Story for Kathy Bates

The upcoming promises-to-be-less-violent third season of FX’s American Horror Story is gonna feature Jessica Lange once again, and it is gonna see the actress go toe to toe with...Kathy Bates.

Clash of the titans much!

Bates will play a friend-turned-enemy of Lange’s new character, a type of glamour cat leading lady per show mastermind Ryan Murphy.

The Misery star joins a cast that will include several of the anthology series’ regular players, like Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, and Taissa Farmiga.

Photo: IMDb.com.

The Next Big Romantic Thing

Anna Kendrick is a lucky girl.

I say so because the Pitch Perfect star just got one heckuva hot male lead for her next project, Richard LaGravenese’s The Last 5 Years, and his name is Jeremy Jordan.

The Tony-nominated Newsies breakout – who can currently be seen on TV’s Smash – will play one half of a promising author entangled in a complicated relationship with a struggling starlet.

And here’s something I didn’t know about the project: his side of the affair will be shown chronologically, while hers will be told in reverse.

That sounds like something I’d like.

Photo: Zimbio.com.

The Lengths to Which J. Law Will Go...

The Ends of the Earth.

That’s how far newly minted Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence will go for her Silver Linings Playbook director David O. Russell.

As expected, he actress will star in the Chris (Academy Award winner for Argo) Terrio-penned story of an Oklahoma oil baron who adopts a young girl and later, after having an affair with her, marries her. 

Guess J. Law sure likes the way Russell butters her professional bagel (she’s also on board his project f.k.a. American Bulls---)....

I know I do.

Photo: HollywoodReporter.com.

Voicing Bad

America’s Sweetheart’s gone bad!

Nah, but you know Sandra Bullock’s thinking of her son when she picks an animated project to do next.

The Oscar and People’s Choice Favorite Humanitarian 2013 winner has said yes to voicing a character named Scarlett Overkill in the forthcoming Despicable Me spin-off Minions. The character is said to be a supervillain determined to rule the Minions and the world. Oooh...que miedo!

The 3-D offering is slated to arrive in theaters in time for the 2014 holiday season.

Photo: Zimbio.com.

Charlie’s Girl

People are gonna start keep talkin’ about these two....

Charlie Sheen has lured his Scary Movie 5 co-star, the one and only Lindsay Lohan, to a guesting gig on his FX comedy Anger Management.

And just so she doesn’t strain herself, Sheen is having L2 play herself.

Well, a version of herself who seeks treatment with his therapist character and ends up having a liaison with the guy.

Birds of a feather. Or whatever.

Anyway, Lohan’s ep will air in April, which is also the time their big-screen collab will see the light of day. What...perfect timing.

Photo: DigitalSpy.com.

We Have Us a Code Brunette

Britney Spears has gone dark again, y’all.

Alright, alright – her hair has.

Hope this doesn’t mean we have cause for alarm since the last time she changed things up, she also was going through career and personal upheaval (as she is now)...and she ended up with a conservatorship placed on her ass.

But this color job looks like a professional dye (good enough to show off at Elton John’s annual Oscar party last night), so I’ll just admit now that I wanted to blog about this silly bit of news and that this is the only angle I could work.

Tootles.

Photo: People.com.

Newsroom Newbie

James Marsden’s gonna have a good, busy couple of years.

The actor’s working hard on the upcoming Walk of Shame with Elizabeth Banks, and now comes word that the cutie-patootie’s gonna join Will Ferrell & Co. in this Christmas’ Anchorman: The Legend Continues.

Marsden reportedly will play a rival anchor of Ferrell’s Ron Burgundy’s.

He joins a cast that includes, of course, returning co-stars Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, and Christina Applegate, as well as franchise newcomer Kristen Wiig.

Photo: NME.com.

Argo and Find Out Who Won an Oscar Last Night...

It was a big weekend for Silver Linings Playbook star Jennifer Lawrence.

First, she won an Independent Spirit Award for her tremendous turn in David O. Russell’s phenomenal film (easily my favorite of 2012, btw)...and then she tripped on her Dior and fell on her way to collect her Best Actress Oscar at last night’s Academy Awards, which crowned the BAFTA-winning Argo as Best Picture.

But, hey – she won one of the little guys, so I don’t think she was too upset about the mishap.

Love that girl.

Speaking of the Oscars, Inglourious Basterds star Christoph Waltz pulled a bit of an upset when he won his second Academy Award for his work in Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained (which earned the Best Original Screenplay award, btw).

And, to the surprise of like, no one, Daniel Day-Lewis and Anne Hathaway walked away with his historic third and her first Oscar for their work in Lincoln and Les Misérables, respectively.

The show itself, hosted by Seth MacFarlane, ran looong and felt long, which I knew would be the case when MacFarlane’s opening bit went on and on way passed the rule of repetition (you’re meant to do something with William Shatner three times, dude, not five). Kudos for hosting the show for both the audience at the Dolby Theater and those of us at home. I can’t remember who was the last host of any awards show that remained so consistently visible and engaged throughout the evening. Oh, and loved the tribute to musicals, and especially how demented into it Catherine Zeta-Jones looked channeling her Chicago Oscar-winning role of Velma Kelly and how Jennifer Hudson brought it once more as Effie White from Dreamgirls.

As far as the fashion is concerned, Charlize Theron was the best dressed in her sharp white peplum Dior Haute Couture situation, end of story, although Jessica Chastain, in Giorgio Armani, was a close second.

Naomi Watts, too, was stunning, in her metallic Armani Privé dress, which, I will not lie, made it jiggle.

Ditto a Versace-clad Halle Berry.

And Eddie Redmayne (in particular his hair...and when he shared the screen with his Les Misérables co-star Aaron Tveit).

Photo: HuffingtonPost.com.

You’re Dismissed, Linds

So Lindsay Lohan didn’t win any Oscars last night – unlike J. Law and Anne.

Shocker.

And you know what, she also shan’t be taking Pitbull to court.

A judge has dismissed the lawsuit the erstwhile actress brought up against Mr. Worldwide over his song “Give Me Everything” containing the lyrics “Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoein’, to keep flowin’ / I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.”

L2 had argued the lyrics were defamatory and would/was/is doing permanent damage to her image and career.

The judge on the case was like, no, honey – you are doing that quite well on your own no, the song is protected art and does not meet the threshold required to for anyone to claim an intentional infliction of emotional distress.

In other words, the claim was found to be frivolous and thrown. As it should have.

Bet Linds doesn’t get this is good, that she doesn’t have yet another court date, and is looking for another straw to grasp right about now.

Photo: Zimbio.com.

The Neurotic Dater

I guess this means Sarah and Mark on TV’s Parenthood aren’t A-OK?

What – I haven’t finished watching the last season yet (so no spoilers!).

Anyway, Jason Ritter is set to lead a potential new comedy for Fox this fall. The project is based on the BBC hit Gavin and Stacey and is called Friends & Family, and the actor will play a Woody Allen-esque young man who starts dating a co-worker he gets closer to via social media.

Sounds cute and neurotic.

Alright...Imma go catch up on Parenthood now.

Photo: MovPins.com.

While She Was Sleeping

If at first you don’t succeed....

That’s kinda what Christina Ricci is doing now that she’s eyeing the lead role on NBC’s comedy pilot Girlfriend in a Coma.

The Pan Am star would play a woman who wakes up to find out she has a 17-year-old daughter from a pregnancy she was unaware of when her life was put on hold.

Y’ know...that ol’ nugget. Fun!

This sounds interesting. Although something must be done about that title.

Photo: MonstersAndCritics.com.

Dr. Beek

For some reason I’ll never understand, ABC decided not to Trust the B---- in Apt. 23, so James Van Der Beek is out of a well-liked job.

So...he’s doing the only thing he can do: look for something new.

And that he’s found in a new comedy pilot for CBS titled Friends with Better Lives.

The mofo likes his long titles, huh.

The project will revolve around a group of thirtysomething pals who each thinks the other has it better. The Beek will play one of two doctors with a gynecology practice (he’ll be the smart, sarcastic one who’s also putting it all back together following his ex-wife’s cheating).

Cue up the vage jokes!

Hope this one sticks for a while.

Photo: ReleaseDonkey.com.

Campaigning for the Funny

I guess Sarah Michelle Gellar did not want to play a funny mom on TV quite just yet, after all.

SMG is keen on comedy, though, and she is teaming up with a true master for it: Robin Williams.

The pair is set to headline David E. Kelley’s new project, a pilot for CBS titled Crazy Ones, about a father-and-daughter team that runs an advertising agency together.

Gellar’s character is described as intense and driven, and I am going to guess she’s going to play the straight man to Williams’ outlandishness.

This could work. I see this working. Especially if Kelley writes a bunch of great Ally McBeal-ish supporting characters.

Photo: People.com.

Back with Bay

Megan Fox must really wanna work if she’s willing to team up with Michael Bay again, in spite of anything she may have said in the past.

Or she just likes the taste of crow.

Either way, the actress has been welcomed “back into the family” by her Transformers director, no, not to headline another one of those blockbusters but for his forthcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot.

No word on what role Fox will be playing in this new potential franchise...but the obvious money is on her taking on the part of the turtles’ sidekick April O’Neil.

Although it would be hella cool if she played Shredder.

Photo: ScopeCube.com.

Abscam Woman

She’s probably gonna win an Oscar this weekend, so Jennifer Lawrence is in a hurry to work with her Silver Linings Playbook director again.

Smart girl.

The actress is joining Jeremy Renner, her Silver Linings Playbook co-star (and fellow nominee) Bradley Cooper, and The Fighter co-stars Christian Bale and Amy Adams in the project f.n.a. American Bulls---, the story of a con man (Cooper) compelled to work with the FBI agent (Renner) who captured him in a far-reaching sting op o.k.a. Abscam that resulted in the convictions of several members of Congress.

Meaty parts for everyone!

I mean, it sure sounds like the Screen Actors Guild Award, at the very least, could go to....

Photo: IBTimes.com.

Here’s to a Legendary Summer

Looks like Beyoncé won’t be the only member of the Carter-Knowles household hitting the road this year.

Jay-Z will join his new BFF Justin Timberlake on tour in the summer, for the 12-city stadium “Legends of the Summer Tour.”

Are you dying?

JT and Mr. Z will kick things off in Toronto on July 17, wrapping up in my Miami on Aug. 16. Tickets go on sale on Feb. 28.

Photo: Grammy.com.

Sarsgaard TVs

Well this sounds promising: Peter Sarsgaard has landed a role on the resurrected The Killing.

The actor will play a hardened, challenging-type death row inmate and lifelong con for whom the clock is ticking down.

Quite a way for the guy to pop his TV cherry: the part will his first small-screen gig.

Here’s to hoping the third season of The Killing meets and exceeds every expectation....

Photo: CBSNews.com.

Mujer on Top

Who knew Soledad O’Brien was such a top.

Since change was afoot at CNN – here comes Chris Cuomo! – people had been wondering just what would happen with the beloved journalist.

Well, now we have an answer.

O’Brien’s launching her own production shingle, Starfish Media Group, with the help of CNN and its new boss, Jeff Zucker, and already has three docs in the works for the network. She also will reprise her role as host of the yearly documentary series Black in America.

Yay!

Photo: Hispanicize.com.

Shia Not on Broadway

Looks like Shia LaBeouf’s big Broadway moment will have to wait a little longer to get here.

Indeed, the actor has left the upcoming production of Lyle Kessler’s Orphans, which would had seen share the stage with Alec Baldwin.

LaBeouf exited the show over “creative differences.”

The Messenger’s Ben Foster has been tapped to replace him in the story of a young, orphaned thief who lives with his mentally damaged younger brother (Tom Sturridge) and who kidnaps a wealthy older man (Baldwin), finding in him the father figure he never had.

Photo: NYDailyNews.com.