A Confederacy of Dunces

As a really scandalous summer winds down, many, including Entertainment Weekly in its current cover story, are wondering how it ever came to this…and this…and this.

Details magazine wondered not too long ago whatever happened to the “Hollywood Badass.”

And so I echo: How – and, really, why – were a group of marginally talented, underfed young women able to grab their booze (allegedly), blow (allegedly), and our zeitgeist the way they did?

There are more pressing matters going on, right?

What makes me even more hellaciously upset is these young women are wasting away their talent. Alright, so this only applies to Lindsay Lohan, but you have to admit Nicole Richie’s pretty funny.

I mean, L2’s a bigger mess than Britney Spears, who has managed, so far, to be pulled over but let go. The pop tart is looking like the most capable one of the bunch. As if.

So I offer the following suggestion: Purge the phrases DUI, rehab, and wee hours off your vocabulary, and replace them with home, reading, and working.

A change will do you good.

Photo: TMZ.com.