There Once Was a Boy with Claws in His Hands

Summer has officially started with the debut of the blockbuster X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Thank you, Hollywood, but may I have a word?

The title of this prequel to the successful trilogy about the X-Men promises Wolverine’s (Hugh Jackman), well…origins.

Instead we get a telegraph recounting events that don’t make too much sense – his black-sheep half-brother, Victor Creed, a.k.a. Sabretooth (Liev Schreiber), actually is his brother (even though their mutations are different)? he fought wars (alongside his hot-headed sibling) even though he seemed to have contempt for the human race that rejected him? and, hey, speaking of mutation, why wasn’t it explained a bit more? We’re asked to take young James Logan’s abilities (regeneration, super-strength, gnarly claws that grow out of his hands) the way we would, say, his black hair.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine doesn’t concern itself too much with these questions, and that’s a good thing because it smartly, I say, focuses on photographing Jackman & Co. (which includes Ryan Reynolds, will.i.am, and Taylor Kitsch) in the most homo-erotic light possible, which puts gays and girls in movie theaters. Guys, natch, don’t care to notice that kind of thing as long as things go boom.

The movie gives us an information download (mostly over the opening credits) before it quickly rushes to the story it really wants to tell – that of how Wolverine came to be a part of the Weapon X and how he got his adamantium skeleton.

It’s a pretty fun ride, and a good-looking one at that, you know. Jackman is ripped to shreds, as are his co-stars, so the man candy alone could sustain the somewhat insufficient storyline of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. There’s more meat to this beloved comic book character – meat that isn’t on his arms – right?

Yes, it’s not a complete wasteland, but is that really the kind of money you want to see?

Well, yes. It’s summer, at least if you follow the Tinseltown calendar, so enjoy it.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: 20th Century Fox.