If the Fass Called...

Look at Michael Fassbender, going up against the Ireland weather a couple of days ago while on location for his new indie Frank, in which he plays an enigmatic rock star.

He’s all bundled up and working that big ol’ umbrella.

Dude, if you need a PUH I’ll be there for you. I would also serve as a duvet cover, if need be.

Seriously.

Photo: People.com.

Who Needs Freedom, Anyway?

Dido’s back, bitches.

I’d been wondering what the Brit had been up to lately. I must admit, I didn’t keep up with her third release, 2008’s Safe Trip Home. I don’t think a lot of people did: Dido didn’t promote it the way she did her previous two album because she was mourning the death of her father, I think.

Or maybe her record company didn’t feel the record as much.

Anyway, five years later, Dido’s dropping a new CD titled Girl Who Got Away on March 4. To drum up interest, the singer posted a link to her new single, “No Freedom,” on her Facebook earlier today. And I love it.

It’s just so...her, you know.

Photo: Garuyo.com.

Update: Dudes – click here for a really cool remix of “No Freedom.”

The Hemsworth Surfers

Pics like these make me think I need to work out my core as much as I work out my eyes.

I mean, take a long, hard gander at Chris and Lima Hemsworth, who looked all smooth and ripped and hard-cored – and crotch-grabby and coin-slot-happy (thanks, Liam!) – while on holiday in Costa Rica earlier this week.

Hubba-f---in’-hubba.

Am I right or am I right, ladies and gents who like gents.

Photo: PopSugar.com.

Matt Damon the Hijacker

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Once upon a time, Matt Damon was the wanted one out of the Matt Damon-Ben Affleck package, but now Affleck’s winning awards left and right and the one everyone in Hollywood wants to kiss up to, and Damon’s resulted to hijacking late-night talk shows.

For funsies!

Indeed, the actor kidnapped Jimmy Kimmel yesterday and took over Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night.

And just to f--- with Kimmel hard, Damon brought Sheryl Crow along to serve as his band leader (the singer even debuted her new single, “Easy,” on the show). He had Robin Williams come out to help him finish his monologue and his onetime sex partner – and Kimmel’s ex – Sarah Silverman on as a guest. He replaced some of his staff with some of his famous friends, like Andy Garcia, and like, totally booked Reese Witherspoon and Demi Moore on the fly. And he explained the origin of their bitter rivalry.

Ben Affleck also popped up, though only to show loyalty to his former sex partner (that would be Kimmel).

From everything I can find on the Internet, the show was a fun, fun time. Jennifer Lopez, Sally Field, John Krasinski, Robert De Niro, Don Cheadle, and even Kimmel’s own parents thought so.

Photo: USAToday.com.

Searching for a Girl, Too

Rosario Dawson is joining Scott Speedman in the search for Ryan Reynolds’ missing-for-a-long-time daughter.

In a movie, natch.

The actress has been cast in Atom Egoyan’s Queen of the Night, as a detective who becomes involved in the investigation of this cold case that suddenly gets hot again after eight years.

Cameras are set to roll in Ontario next month, with Mireille Enos (the star of AMC’s renewed The Killing) co-starring as the girl’s mom.

Photo: GotCeleb.com.

Under Siege

Gerard Butler’s gonna come first.

And by that, of course, I mean Olympus Has Fallen, his White House-under-siege movie, is getting released before that other similarly themed movie, White House Down, starring Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

So back to Butler.

The Scot is starring in this cheesestastic Antoine Fuqua offering opening on Mach 22, as an ex-Special Forces officer who must save the day – and the president, played by Aaron Eckhart – when the White House (and every other D.C. landmark in the process) is stormed by a terrorist group.

Badassery and terrible dialogue ensues.

Photo: MovieTimeTV.ca.

From the Final Frontier to a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Seems J.J. Abrams wants to own space.

Dude’s already Mr. Star Trek, and now dude’s Mr. Star Wars, too.

Abrams has signed on to direct the next installment in George Lucas’ saga, Star Wars: Episode VII, for Disney for a tentative 2015 release.

Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine) is handling screenwriting duties, while Lucas is sticking with the franchise as a creative consultant.

I should imagine some fanpeople might see this as a bit of a conflict of interest – but gosh darn if it isn’t a hella-cool one, huh.

Photo: Collider.com.

The Girls Will Be Back

Not bad for a so-called little fat chick who got something going!

Hottah than evah and right on the heels of the return of Girls, her Golden Globe-winning hit, Lena Dunham has revealed that the HBO comedy will be back for a third season.

Production on Season 3 will start in March.

Cupcakes in the bathtub for everyone!

Photo: ForElyse.com.

Go Live and Go Shirtless, Adam!

Adam Levine is hosting SNL this Saturday night, and now we have the promos to prove it.

And you know what, SoFine swears he doesn’t “want to play it safe.”

Go shirtless then, man. A lot. All night.

In fact, go shirtless all night long. And open in nothing but your tats and your briefs.

That’s how you don’t do what everybody else does.

Photo: NBC.com.

She Won’t Dance – Don’t Ask Her

Like she has better things to do!

Holier-than-thou Lindsay Lohan reportedly has turned down a half-million-dollar offer from Dancing with the Stars to appear on the TV hit’s coming season.

Dude, it’s not like she’s...Lance Armstrong. She consider herself lucky she even got the offer. ’Cause chasing after The Wanted’s Max George and reminding everyone she used to hang out with the late Heath Ledger, on the anniversary of his death (GTS), isn’t a a trade. It’s sad and pathetic.

Then again....

Anyway, ABC ought to think of itself as even more fortunate, though. It’s not like L2 is a shadow of a reliable performer.

Oh, and while it’s at it, can the network reconsider its treatment of its beloved-by-a-few-but-beloved-nevertheless Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23.

Photo: ABCNews.com.

Eyes on the Bicycle

Bradley Cooper wants to play a villain.

Alright, alright – that was kinda way harsh, folks, but the actor does want to work with his old Alias boss J.J. Abrams on that Lance Armstrong biopic the latter is working on.

Like, for realsies.

“I would be interested [in playing the guy],” the Oscar-nominated star of Silver Linings Playbook has said. “I think he’s fascinating. What a fascinating character.”

Too bad the project won’t be featuring a dance sequence like his buzzed-about indie did now that Armstrong has passed on a surefire shot at redemption in the court of public opinion: The guy will eat humble pie in front of Oprah, but he will not do Dancing with the Stars.

Photo: CNN.com.

Update: Oh, oh, oh – we better slow our roll. Bradley Cooper is kinda sorta changing his tune about this one.

Actually, he has elaborated on just how interested he meant to sound when he said he’d be up for playing Lance Armstrong.

“Oh my god, that’s so nuts [that people are saying I want to do it]!,” Cooper’s told Access Hollywood. “I was in Manchester, doing the BBC morning show.... I had no idea what [the interviewer] was talking about. I didn’t even know that J.J. has the rights, I had no idea. I don’t know anything about it.”

Well, now ya do, dude. Alas, we are just gonna have to wait and see if anything comes of it. And, uh...I heart that you think this rumor is nuts.

Tee hee.

Dusting Off the Ol’ Suit & Tie

Well, that didn’t take long: Justin Timberlake is headed back to the stage.

The multi-hyphenate is doing the music thing again, and to make sure everyone knows it he is taking his act to the Super Bowl.

No, sillies – he’s not moving in on Beyoncé’s halftime gig. JT’s gonna perform at the DirecTV Super Saturday Night event, benefitting the Shriners Hospital for Children, the night before the 49ers-Ravens’ big game on Feb. 3.

So if you have DirecTV I guess you’ll be able to tell us what “Suit & Tie” sounds like live, yeah?

Oh, wait, no – the show will not be televised. Darn. Well, at least now we have a preview of the video for “Suit & Tie.”

Take what you can get, people.

Photo: WotYouGot.com.

The New Mitch Buchannon?

That long-gestating Baywatch movie may be picking up some steam as it slow-mos its way to audiences.

Bill Hader (TV’s Saturday Night Live) is said to have nabbed the lead in a new incarnation of the project that Robert Ben Garant (Reno 911!) is prepping for the big screen.

While the movie is described as totally spoofstastic, it won’t lack a nod or two to the good ol’ days: David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson reportedly will cameo in the thing.

Long live those red swimsuits!

Photo: TheLantern.com.

Let Me Be Hard on You, Harry

Prince Harry’s taking responsibility.

Hard.

Indeed, the world’s top bachelor wants us to know that he gets the interest in his life, alright, and that his wild-on-the Vegas strip scandal from last summer was a shame – “a classic example of me probably being too much army, and not enough prince.”

However, he also points out that he sort of expected a certain level of privacy.

And he is right.

He was in a private area, and he should have gotten it, not have him bum splashed on the front page of every website and newspaper for us to enjoy.

Don’t worry, dude – and don’t punish yourself too harshly. It was a cute tush, and I bet your grandma wasn’t all that peeved about the whole thing. Grandmothers get a kick out of their grandkids’ shenanigans.

Photo: People.com.

Way to Go, Charlize!

I bet this was a proud moment on par with winning her Oscar.

I mean, look at a beaming Charlize Theron, walking to receive a Crystal Award at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, where she was honored for her humanitarian efforts to eradicate AIDS.

Brava!

Theron officially makes me smile. I resisted her for years, but I just can’t anymore.

Photo: PopSugar.com.

Destination Austenland

Keri Russell’s coming back to TV thanks to FX’s The Americans, and to the big screen thanks to another charming indie called Austenland.

Yes!

The film was recently picked up for distribution at the Sundance Film Festival. Russell stars as a Jane Austenphile who spends her entire savings to visit an English fantasy camp that recreates the gender and social mores of the writer’s times.

The film was based on the novel by Shannon Hale, was directed by Napoleon Dynamite co-helmer Jerusha Hess, and produced by Twilight author Stephenie Meyer.

Photo: EW.com.

Update 1: Austenland is not the only indie that secured distribution at Sundace.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s directorial debut Don Jon’s Addiction did, too. As did The Way, Way Back, a coming-of-age comedy from the Oscar-wnning scribes of The Descendants, Nat Faxon (TV’s Ben and Kate) and Jim Rash (TV’s Community), and the documentary Pussy Riot – A Punk Prayer, among others.

Ditto Kill Your Darlings starring Daniel Radcliffe.

Update 2: The Ethan Hawke-Julie Delpy threequel Before Midnight also has secured distribution (like, duh).

And Ain’t Them Bodies Saints – starring Rooney Mara, Casey Affleck, and Ben Foster – also has been snatched up.

Rasta Brad

Well check out one of the looks Brad Pitt pulled for his latest shoot with Interview magazine (his Snatch director, Guy Ritchie, conducted the Q&A).

Totally suits him, huh.

I mean, that’s what people are sayin’....

Photo: LaineyGossip.com.

Wud Again

Barack Obama won reelection last November, was inaugurated yesterday the last couple of days...and then MObama wore a second first dress as first lady that was designed by Jason Wu.

’Cause if at first you did succeed, give ’em more of what they liked.

Indeed, just as in 2009, the inspiring, maker-of-a-better-man, eye-rolling (loves it!) Michelle Obama wore another Wu original – a chiffon-and-velvet halter top stunner of a sexy gown (look at that neckline!) – to the Commander-in-Chief’s Ball yesterday, and she dazzled.

And then the first couple danced their second first dance to a cover of Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” sung by Jennifer Hudson.

Man does America have a good-looking POTUS and FLOTUS....

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

Bieber Alert, Beliebers!

Is Justin Bieber pulling a Britney?

In the last month, the pop star has been caught smoking what pictorial evidence led the world to say was weed and was broken up with by Selena Gomez.

And now, Bieber mooned his Instagram followers over the weekend (he also posted a pic of his package in sweats).

Is the 18-year-old headed for a meltdown? Or just a smacked bottom?

Kid out to take a break. He is literally putting himself out there a little too much.

But then again, now he has something else to talk about during his SNL opening monologue.

Photo: Rickey.org.

Another Party Fit for an It Lady

Last year, NBC threw Betty White a party to celebrate her 90th birthday.

It was an incredibly thoughtful and nice thing to do, as well as a ratings magnet.

So the Peacock’s doing it again.

To celebrate White’s 91st (her b-day was Jan. 17), NBC is organizing Betty White’s 2nd Annual 90th Birthday, a new special that will air on Feb. 5.

Among the celebrity guests invited to this year’s hootenanny? Bill Cosby, Sean Hayes, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves, Wendie Malick, Blake Shelton, and Bill friggin’ Clinton.

Good for her – long live Betty White!

Photo: PennLive.com.