Of the Ball She Was the Belle

Just like Justin Timberlake and Kristin Cavallari, Mila Kunis made good on her promise and attended a Marine Corps ball in North Carolina on Friday.

The original get made a splash at the event in the arm of Sgt. Scott Moore, who took to YouTube last summer to get his date, sparking a frenzy of similar online asks.

Way to go, Mila. Way. To. Go!

Photo: People.com.

A Breakout, Indeed

I picked up the latest issue of GQ this afternoon, the one with Michael Fassbender on the cover, naturally, since I am crushing on the actor.

Hard.

The magazine has dubbed my obsession for the year its Breakout Man of the Year on the strength of his buzzy turn as a sex addict in the upcoming Shame, and I could not agree more with the pick.

Now, I can’t say anything about the full-frontal-happy film until it opens in Miami on Dec. 16, but I will say this: Fassbender has a big and beautiful...talent, and you best seek out this film if you want to check it out.

Photo: Towleroad.com.

Get Ready, Hollywood

It was announced this week that Ricky Gervais will be back as host of the upcoming Golden Globes for the third time in a row.

Which. Makes me. Sooo happy.

As we learned last year, and in 2009, Gervais will go there and let those Hollyweirds have it for our enjoyment, and he promises to make any outrage his audience might feel over his material the kind thats well earned.

Let it rip, Ricky!

Photo: EsterGoldberg.com.

She Eats Men

I’ve always known Amy Acker was someone to be reckoned with, but this is taking it to a whole ’nother level.

The Whedonverse standout has been cast as the Black Widow on TV’s fantastically dark new show Grimm.

Acker will play a seemingly happy housewife who every five years must suck the life out of three men in order to counter the effects of this rapid-aging syndrome she suffers from, the poor thing.

The actress’ ep is slated to air early next year.

Photo: SexyWallpaper.in.

What...a God

Jason Dohring likes it at The CW.

The Veronica Mars alumnus, currently recurring on Ringer, has booked a guesting gig on Supernatural later this season, playing Chronos, the God of Time.

It seems the powers that be will be taking some liberties with the character’s look: Chronos is usually depicted as an old, bearded man, which Dohring is decidedly not.

Photo: bing.com.

Bringing In a Pinch-hitter

Sandra Bullock is off Clint Eastwood’s next movie, Trouble with the Curve, but don’t worry...the project is moving right along.

In fact, Amy Adams will be taking over the role of the director’s estranged daughter in the sports drama.

A pesky scheduling conflict is to blame for the swap, but its not like Adams is chopped liver, right? I mean, she does have three Oscar nominations under her belt.

Photo: Pairody.com.

New Girl

Neil Patrick Harris, I am officially jealous of ya.

Not only does the actor have a beautiful husband and family, a great gig on TV’s How I Met Your Mother, and all of showbiz pretty much on the palm of his hand, now he’s getting to play opposite Becki Newton, whom I want to meet again some day.

Indeed, Newton is set to play NPH’s potential new love interest in several episodes of How I Met Your Mother’s ongoing seventh season, beginning in the new year.

Mmm – que suerte!

Photo: InStyle.com.

Mama Lovelace

Whoa, Lindsay Lohan must be kicking herself.

Now that she’s off Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story, the project has picked up major buzz on its own merit, and attracting some major talent to its role sheet.

Sharon Stone (who co-starred with L2 in Bobby) reportedly is going to play Lovelace’s mother in the biopic, opposite Malin Akerman, who, last I checked, was on board as a replacement for the embattled starlet as the movie’s lead.

Stone is also launching a Facebook community bulletin board that will serve as a place where people can thank returning troops for their service, as well as offer them jobs, discounts, and a helping hand when needed.

Photo: HauteLiving.com.

Forever with a Vampire

I am so not a Twihard, so the frenzy over The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 is not something I’m like, a part of, you know.

I mean, you read my review of Twilight, right? And that of The Twilight Saga: New Moon?

Yeah, I skipped the third entry in the series, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, during its theatrical run, but I have caught up with that little cinematic gem on cable and, don’t worry...I got it.

What I don’t get, however, is the appeal of these characters and this so-called epic love story.

More like a major snoozefest. (Urgh, that wooden writing and that paper-thin character development.... More on that in a bit.)

That Bella Swan chick Kristen Stewart plays with the most aggroying affectations ever committed to film is a morose psychological mess. She’s completely ridikolous. And her boyfriend, the gentleman-y vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson)? Urgh, what a little manipulative s---.

Their whole romance is so push-pull it’s totally codependent (said it once, will say it again: Buffy and Angel they ain’t, and they never will be). I mean, alright, she can’t be with him because she’s human, but, wait, he won’t turn her unless they marry? What...a tease.

It’s also dangerous for the two to be together because, as we’ve seen in previous installments of this lucrative franchise, they have bad vamps opposed to their relationship, not to mention Bella’s BFF Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) is a werewolf (so, natch, an enemy of Edward’s) and like, totally in love with her, and, thus, a doormat.

Then, Bella and Edward finally do marry in this first part – good for you, Hollywood – of the final movie based on Stephenie Meyer's books, in a ceremony what will surely and sickeningly be imitated by impressionable tweens and young and not-so-young adults everywhere, but Edward won’t do Bella. Not yet, and not until they can both live forever.

Seriously?

It’s just not safe for her, since she’s still mortal and bruisable.

Bella, though, wants to feel what it’s like to make love for the first time, so, as teased in previews, they do it. The bed-busting scene is kept anticlimactically unprovocative since dollars are to be made, but it serves to remind us that sex leads to complications.

The main conflict of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 is that Bella gets – Spoiler Alert! – preggers.

Gasp, right?

Not.

Since Bella’s still a human, and the hybrid, “miracle” baby is growing super-fast and consuming her from the inside (vamp jizz is, evidently, way more potent than tiger blood, for such a pregancy is rather rare), her happy ending with Edward is like, completely in jeopardy, as is the Cullen clan’s safety as word spreads among the wolves that the baby is coming (they are not happy).

The whole event is far from a happy one, and brings an unforeseen and shocking development for Jacob (that should so be examined by a licensed professional).

Bill Condon, the helmer behind Dreamgirls, directs The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, so the project has a hint of good pedigree, you know, but there’s so much the guy can do to really make this one a palatable offering for someone like me...someone who desperately wanted to buy into the hype.

Unfortunately, an per tradition, Melissa Rosenberg’s screenplay simply sucks.

Not much in this widely successful, MTV Movie Award-winning series has proven memorable or fathomable, IMHO. I understand Meyer’s source material is not the best, either, but that doesn’t excuse churning out movies that are less than didactic.

Bella, Edward, and Jacob make love look dumb.

My Rating **

Photo: Summit Entertainment.

A Party Fit for an It Lady

Don’t be tardy for the Betty party this winter, y’all.

NBC has announced plans to celebrate Betty White’s 90th by hosting and airing (natch) a dinner-style birthday bash for the Golden Girl.

The special will hit the tube close to the blessed day on Jan. 17.

I know it’s super-early, but let me be among the first to say Happy Birthday, Betty, you hottie, you, and to many, many more!

Photo: ChickWeLike.com.

Stolen Fashion

A literal crime against fashion has been committed in Europe: Marc Jacobs’ entire Spring/Summer 2012 has been stolen!

Forty-six frocks were en route from Paris to London for a press day went they went missing from the train that was transporting them.

No word on who could be behind the theft – or how they pulled the heist off.

And no ransom note, either.

Although, can you imagine it?

“If you want to see this cellophane cocktail dress alive again, we demand a bajillion dollars in unmarked bills be left in the latest, most expensive limited-edition Louis Vuitton bag in the lobby of the George V (by the green hydrangeas, not the pink ones), otherwise we will start with the sleeves and work our way down. We’re not joking. We just sharpened our shears.”

Photo: TheDailyBeast.com.

Vintage Bf

That in-demand cutie-patootie James Wolk is going gay for his next TV gig.

The actor has booked a recurring role on the buzzy comedy Happy Endings where he will play the old new boyfriend of Adam Pally’s character.

Yep, someone the guy used to date and is now dating all over again.

One should be so lucky to tangle with Wolk once, let alone twice, IMHO.

Photo: ChuvaChienes.com.

Catalyst Man

Ringer on The CW is one of my favorite new shows this season.

It’s just getting pretzelier and pretzelier every week.

One of the biggest mysteries surrounding the story of the estranged twins Sarah Michelle Gellar plays is why the two fell out of touch a few years ago.

Well, now an answer will start to trickle down our way in the form of a character Misha Collins is set to play.

The Supernatural actor will portray a man who has a past with both sisters and who is partly responsible for the schism between the two. Look for him next year when the show comes back from winter break.

Oooh....

Photo: SupernaturalWiki.com.

The Owner

Sacha Baron Cohen’s getting serious.

Ish.

I mean, the guy’s in talks to join Quentin Tarantino’s latest, Django Unchained, so he’s more than likely just getting mighty wicked.

The funny man would play a man who buys the wife of Jamie Foxx’s titular character.

Sounds like a meaty part.

Photo: Babble.com.

She Holds the Kei

Twilight Saga star Kristen Stewart’s future is looking more and more promising...for me (I just can’t stand her Bella shtick).

The actress has been offered the opportunity to reunite with Garrett Hedlund, her co-star in the upcoming On the Road (is that still coming out this year?), in Akira, the adaptation of Katsuhiro Otomo’s six-volume graphic novel (the epic movie would cover the first three tomes, while a follow-up movie would encompass the other half).

Stewart would play the Kei to Hedlund’s Keneda for director Jaume Collet-Serra. Gary Oldman is set to portray the Colonel.

Photo: Team-Twilight.com.

Bureau Boy

Aaron Tveit, whom some of ya may remember from TV’s Gossip Girl (he played Nate’ cousin and a former paramour of Serena’s) and whom some of you may have caught on Broadway’s Catch Me If You Can, is coming to TV.

The actor will play the lead on the new USA Network pilot that will follow several agents across various federal and local government agencies.

Tveit’s character?

A newly appointed FBI agent.

Photo: IMDb.com.

Off the Wall

Last week brought us the teaser for Snow White and the Huntsman, a.k.a. the Snow White movie starring Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, and Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen.

Well, this week it’s Mirror Mirror’s turn.

That’s the Snow White project with Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, and Armie Hammer that Tarsem Singh (Immortals) has helmed.

Check out the teaser trailer, y’all:

Unlike Snow White and the Huntsman, this one looks like a bit of a romp, huh.

Mirror Mirror is due out on March 16.

But I Thought It Was the Year of the Gosling...

People has picked Bradley Cooper as its 2011 Sexiest Man Alive.

Really, People?

Don’t get me wrong, I think the guy’s pretty darn dreamy, but, clearly, the magazine’s editors did not watch Crazy, Stupid, Love attentively enough, for that summer hit made it clear Ryan Gosling was the obvious choice this year.

I mean, hello – it’s like he’s Photoshopped!

Alas, that’s probably why the powers that be went in another, less evident direction, and why, ever so humbly, Cooper said he felt privileged by the objectifying honor.

“I think it’s really cool that a guy who doesn’t look like a model can have this [title],” the actor said. “Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying.”

I think the guy’s exaggerating a bit, but I get what he means.

Among the other lookers the magazine picked for us to ogle this year is Gosling (he even made the cover!), Hunger Games star Liam Hemsworth, Idris Elba, Justin Theroux (a.k.a. Jennifer Aniston’s new beau), Josh Charles (TV’s The Good Wife), and Joel McHale (TV’s Community).

Photo: People.com.