Stuck GaGa

Whatever I will say about Lady GaGa – that I like her, that I don’t – I can’t deny the woman’s a giver.

Mother Monster treated her fans over the Christmas holiday to a new song called “Stuck on Fuckin’ You,” and I gotta say I’m vibing on its bluesy notes.

The singer said she wrote and recorded the ditty real quick while on a tour stop in Minnesota, on her tour bus.

Well, isn’t she just som’in’....

Photo: JonAlisBlog.com.

Studly Christmas Present Much?

Leave it to Channing Tatum and his Magic Mike co-stars to brighten up this Christmas.

Behold the first image from Steven Soderbergh’s upcoming must-see based on Tatum’s life in the strippin’ world back when he was 19 years old.

Pretty enticing, IMHO.

In addition to Tatum you’ll see plenty of Joe Manganiello, Alex Pettyfer, Matt McConaughey, and Matt Bomer, who, unfortunately, isn’t pictured here.

Merry Christmas, y’all!

Photo: Collider.com.

The Clothes Stay On for This One

Lindsay Lohan has gotten herself a new job, and this time she didn’t have to bare it all.

L2 is the new face and body of Jag Jeans.

Photographer Yu Tsai shot the campaign, which is way more flattering to Lohan (and her what’s left of her so-called career at this point) than her Playboy layout.

Yeah, I’ve never heard of ’em, either, but I’m just not their demo.

Photo: Chemical-Magazine.com.

Remember the Time

It seems incredible, but once upon a time, back when Hollywood was still known as Hollywooland, filmmakers really didn’t need that much to make a film, and by that I mean they didn’t need color or sound – black and white and silence did just fine.

French director Michel Hazanavicius seemed to think so when he wrote then directed the era-capturing The Artist.

Hazanavicius’ most excellent love letter to the early days of cinema stars the phenomenal Jean Dujardin, a French actor who picked up the Best Actor prize at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year for his enchanting turn as matinee idol George Valentin.

Together, the two – along with the winningly winky Bérénice Bejo and a strong supporting cast that includes John Goodman, Babe’s James Cromwell, and Penelope Ann Miller – deliver proof that, as it turns out, folks still don’t need color or sound, or grandiose effects or gimmicks like 3-D, to dazzle audiences because a good story full of emotion always triumphs.

The Artist’s captivating story begins in 1927, with Dujardin’s George Valentin the toast of Tinseltown. He and his trusty sidekick, played by a scene-stealing Jack Russell, have built themselves into revered legend, and Valentin is the biggest star in town.

Two years later, though, everything changes.

The market crash of ’29 depletes George’s finances (the unhappy wife Miller plays finally walks out on him shortly thereafter, leaving with Cromwell’s chauffeur character as the only human who still stands by him), but, more life-alteringly, the advent of talkies and younger talent threatens to cast him aside.

Leading the crop of new faces championed by Goodman’s studio head character is Peppy Miller (Bejo), a spunky ingénue George met many moons ago and with whom he immediately sparked.

They still remember – and like! – each other, but their rapport now is a bit more tried, since, you know, she is essentially helping put him out of business. He is the past and she is the future. The big question, of course, is could they have a present together.

The smart beauty of The Artist lies in how all this...drama in George’s life unfolds so ingeniously on screen, how, through the sheer power of conveying it all through sight gags and dance and cleverly used songs a filmmaker can say so little and evoke so much at the same time.

That’s what makes this one so memorable and such a pleasure.

My Rating ****

Photo: The Weinstein Company.

Rise and...Shine?

This week saw the arrival of another Dark Knight Rises trailer that built on the foreboding mood of the upcoming blockbuster’s latest poster.

There’s Michael Caine’s Alfred seemingly lamenting what’s become of Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne. And Anne Hathaway’s Selina Kyle offering “Mr. Wayne” a not-so-friendly warning about being a part of the 1 percent. And, of course, Tom Hardy’s Bane being all badass and s---.

It. Looks. Awesome! Check it out:

I guess we will have to wait until next summer to see if the Caped Crusader can save Gotham...and himself (since we just cannot flash forward in time to find out now).

Hef-fing It Up

James Franco may be in a maelstrom over a D he got at NYU, which reportedly led to firing of the professor that gave the actor the bad grade by the university, but that won’t stop him from booking his next job in Hollywood, which consistently gives the guy As for his work (except for his Oscars-hosting duties)

Franco is thisclose to signing on to cameo as Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in Lovelace for his HOWL helmers Rob Estein and Jeffrey Friedman.

The indie, starring Amanda Seyfried and Peter Sarsgaard and co-starring Hank Azaria, Bobby Cannavale, and Chris Noth, will be set between the dawn of the sexual revolution and the culmination of the feminist movement.

Photo: TheMCelebrity.wordpress.com.

Extremely Impossible and Incredibly Awesome

I’ve got a bone to pick with Brad Bird, the director of The Incredibles who’s made a cool live-action debut with Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol because dude has completely messed up the way I think about the movies in the franchise.

Bird has delivered a fantastic fourthquel that sort of recaptures the espio-vibe of the Brian De Palma original, which I still say was terrific and maintain is the best of Tom Cruise’s outings as IMF agent Ethan Hunt. Furthermore, he also had channeled the pizzazz of the set pieces of John Woo’s sequel, and repurposed the redirections of the J.J. Abrams threequel to give Cruise the worthiest and best of his comeback attempts.

Not that I think the actor was in need of a cinematic comeback – I didn’t, you know, loathe the stuff he did post-couch jumping on Oprah (like, I thought Knight & Day, while poorly titled, was pretty entertaining). But that’s neither here nor there.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, Bird and the awesome he did this one. Well, there...I think that sums it up. I couldn’t think of anyone better equipped to handle the action of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. Abrams revitalized the franchise by making Ethan Hunt not just a super-agent but a full-blown human being by giving him something to care about: a home life to protect and wife to love.

In this movie, however, Ethan’s wife (played by Michelle Monaghan) is MIA. In fact, when we first see Ethan, he’s sitting in a prison, disavowed we later learn because of an unsanctioned hit. Coming in to spring him are Jane Carter (Paula Patton) in the field and Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) on tech support/comic relief duty – Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Maggie Q from the third go around are not back for these funsies.

Neither is franchise vet Ving Rhames. Maybe.

Anyway, from there Ethan and his new team are tasked with breaking into the Kremlin to recover intel that will lead them to some crazy Russian (Michael Nyqvist, the star of the Swedish Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) who’s plotting a nuclear war. And what a break-in it is. Bird quite literally stages it like a magic trick, and the whole thing pays off beautifully, but the mission kinda sorta totally goes awry since a few moments later Ethan is being blamed for the terrorist bombing of historic complex.

The American government quickly institutes Ghost Protocol, disavowing all agents, leaving Ethan & Co. without resources or backup (except for Jeremy Renner’s Brandt, an analyst with hazy motivations)...and with one last impossible mission to prevent the crazy Russian from, y’ know, starting World War III.

That’s when Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol starts going for it, with the movie’s pièce de résistance staged as a daring-do moment for Cruise himself to pull the stunt of the year as he climbs Dubai’s Burj Khalifa. The scene encapsulates everything we’ve come to love about these movies, which Bird handles it with the appropriate care, excitement, and humor, and Cruise plays for both his and our enjoyment like the pro that we all know that he is and always will be.

As you’d expect of any Ethan Hunt adventure, you also know the world will live to die another day, natch, but holy last-second save...the crazy Russian almost....

Perhaps this was a deliberate foreshadow, an elegant way of preparing the audience for the day when Ethan will face a mission that will prove too impossible. I hope that day is still many more movies away, but not too many that the guy is too old to, no, not to impress but to be happy. Little by little this one told us what happened to the guy’s wife, and so my hope for our hero isn’t that he keeps kicking butt but that he gets to reclaim a part of his life we know he can cherish as well as he does his job.

Oh, and for the record: this one is thisclose to surpassing M:i:III as my second favorite movie in the series.

My Rating ***

Photo: Paramount Pictures.

Jess and the Real Baby

Jessica Biel is going to stretch her acting muscle.

’Cause, let’s face, New Year’s Eve was a cakewalk. Of the most shameful sort. Easy Virtue this wasn’t for the actress.

Biel is in talks to take a dramatic turn in Francesca Gregorini’s Emanuel and the Truth About Fishes, as a mother so torn apart by her baby’s death she takes to caring for a doll as if it were her child.

Photo: Zimbio.com.

Just a Voice

Helen Mirren will be heard, not seen, on TV’s Glee.

Wait, what?

The Oscar winner is going to guest on the show’s first episode back in 2012, but she’ll only be providing the “inner voice” of a character that has not been revealed yet.

My money’s on Heather Morris’ Brittany.

Ha!

Mirren joins a growing list of top-shelf guest stars that includes Ricky Martin, Gloria Estefan, and Pitbull.

Photo: About.com.

Baggins Begins

The trailer for the first of the two highly anticipated Lord of the Rings prequels, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, dropped yesterday.

In case you were wondering what that sound was...it was the sound of a worldwide geekasm.

The movie is due out next December and will chronicle the life of one Bilbo Baggins, played in youth by Martin Freeman and later on, and as we first met him, by Ian Holm. It seems to have quite a few lighter moments, before adventure comes a-callin’ and director Peter Jackson steps it up with the action and the thrills.

Check it:

Ladies Reunited

Well, I guess this must mean they liked working together.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows co-stars Rachel McAdams and Noomi Rapace have signed on to share the spotlight in Passion, Brian De Palma’s English-language adaptation of the French psychodrama Crime D’Amour, which originally featured Kristin Scott-Thomas and Ludivine Sagnier (Swimming Pool) as a conniving boss and her ambitious protégé.

De Palma and his leading ladies are expected to begin work on the independently financed project in Europe this coming spring.

Photo: GossipHat.com.

The Thrill-seeker

I grew up reading, nah...devouring Hergé’s Tintin books, so you best believe that when I first heard that Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg were teaming up to bring the intrepid reporter’s cool adventures to the big screen I was beyond-excited.

Now, having seen the filmmakers’ 3-D, motion-captured The Adventures of Tintin I can say I am...pleased.

Don’t get me wrong, with Jackson producing and Spielberg directing the movie’s a good time, but I am not the biggest fan of 3-D or motion capture, so that sorta totally put a damp on my enjoyment of the blockbuster. (The glasses the former calls for darken the movie, and I find the latter business to give the figures on screen a whiff of the creepy.)

Plus, as outstandingly talented as these two Hollywood heavyweights are, no one can capture the might of Hergé. His illustrations were full of life as they were, on paper (I guess you could say I really found the Belgian writer-illustrator’s books to be the most magical I ever read), so my standard and expectation for The Adventures of Tintin may have been much too high.

Having said all of this, though, I found the movie to be rather spectacular, especially when it was in motion, which was almost all the time. Spielberg has delivered a relentless 101 minutes of, well...adventure that is constantly go, go, go.

And I likey a lot.

The story finds Tintin (voiced by Jamie Bell with fearless curiosity) on the trail of a big story, as he always is, which leads him and his loyal sidekick Milou...uhh...I mean, Snowy, to a treasure hunt. His quest for a sunken ship, the Unicorn, partners him with the drunken Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis), who has a connection to the ship...and to the notorious pirate Red Rackham (Daniel Craig, hamming it menacingly).

We see Tintin and his friends (keep your eyes open for many fan faves!) traveling the world to many an exotic location by air and by sea, always outsmarting his dastardly enemies thanks to the cowlicked one’s unquenchable wit in breathless chase after breathless chase until they finally unravel the mystery at hand – while unlocking a clue or two about the next one (fingers crossed for a sequel).

Yes, I did find myself wishing The Adventures of Tintin had been more traditionally animated, especially when the movie paused on the characters’ faces (motion capture renders ’em a bit soulless for my taste), but I also found myself transported and wishing the journey would not end.

And that, in anyone’s book, is a good thing.

My Rating ***

Photo: Paramount Pictures.