HTML

Note to self: Cosmopolitans and cupcakes and lollipops and Smarties do not mix well.

Spotted: Yours truly, turning into an HTML at Friday’s Winter Music Conference single launch party for Madonna’s “4 Minutes” at The A/X Lounge in the penthouse of The Raleigh Hotel in Miami Beach.

(An HTML – abbreviation of Hot Tranny Mess Lollipop – always has a fun time, but usually pays the piper after the taxi ride home. The term is a variation of this.)

The party featured remixes of M’s hit single, featuring Justin Timberlake, by Junkie XL, Tracy Young, and Bob Sinclar.

It was, clearly to some, quite a lot fun – as was the tall glass of water and long night of beaming sleep that followed.

Photo: Confidential Source.

Update: I just remember this bit of scoop: Save May 1 on your calendar. That’s when tickets for M’s upcoming tour will go on sale, or so I was told. Or perhaps that’s just when something we’ll be announced. Remember – HTML....

You Gotta Bet Big to Win Big

21, an Ocean’s Eleven for the post-MTV generation, is based upon the true story of how a handful of the brightest young minds in the country took Las Vegas for millions.

Ben Campbell (Across the Universe’s Jim Sturgess) is a shy, brilliant M.I.T. student who, needing $300,000 to pay for med school, realizes his entire future just may be in the cards – literally.

He is recruited by Micky Rosa (Kevin Spacey), an…unorthodox…math professor and stats genius, to join a team of gifted students that flies out to Sin City on weekends, armed with fake IDs and the know-how to turn the odds at blackjack in their favor.

By counting cards and employing an intricate system of signals, they can beat the casinos big time.

Seduced by the money, the lifestyle, and by his very smart and sexy teammate, Jill Taylor (Kate Bosworth, looking better than she has in the last two of years), Ben begins to push the limits.

Although counting cards isn’t illegal, the stakes are high, and the challenge becomes not only keeping the numbers straight, but staying one step ahead of the casinos’ menacing enforcer: Cole Williams (Laurence Fishburne), who is not amused he’s being replaced by state-of-the-art technology.

21 is adequate entertainment, but its main problem is it needed to be tighter, more precise.

The scenes in Las Vegas are obviously the most fun, but it’s a bit of a drag that once Ben and the team go back to M.I.T., he has to deal with the consequences of his actions.

That’s real, and necessary, but the filmmakers should’ve stepped away from the editing booth while they were ahead. Like in blackjack, there’s a limit they should’ve kept in mind.

Or, at the very least, they should’ve hidden their wild card (a twist I saw coming quite early on) a lot better.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: Sony Pictures.

The Wicked Mind of the Married Man

Fickle pickle Felicity Porter (Felicity – own all four seasons, out now on DVD) was once told by her counselor that sometimes it is better to be kind than honest. This after she’d revealed she may have cheated on her boyfriend.

To understand why I said “may” you’d have to be a fan of the show, so go…become a fan.

But I digress.

That kind-honest pearl of wisdom resonated with me way back when I first heard it, and again when I read the synopsis of director Ira Sachs’ Married Life.

Chris Cooper stars as Harry, the center of the film, which earlier in March premiered at the Miami International Film Festival. Harry is a typical 1950s man: hard-working, caring…and conflicted.

Torn between two women, he has decided he must kill his wife, Pat (Patricia Clarkson), in order to be with his much-younger girlfriend, Kay (Rachael McAdams, pictured at left with Cooper).

For Harry, his situation is a “sometimes it is better to be kind than honest” situation. He loves Pat too much to let her suffer when he leaves her. Killing her down, he believes, is the best thing he can do for her.

When he shares his outrageous plan with his best friend Richard (Pierce Brosnan), he’s met with disbelief, natch, but also with curiosity…and with quiet encouragement. (Richard has meet Kay, and he has decided he’s going to let Harry go ahead with his plan because he now has fallen for her.)

Ah – a love square.

As the four are overwhelmed by their passions – oh yeah, the women have secrets, too – and they struggle to avoid hurting one another, Married Life stylishly captures an era, and reveals stirring commentary on the nature of marital commitment.

Cooper told me he was attracted to the role of Harry because he was trying not to repeat himself.

“I thought he was a very interesting character,” he said. “I thought there were aspects I thought no one would see. It’s kind of comforting – it’s the security blanket that I put over myself as far as an internal life for the character. I just hoped some of that might come through.”

For her part, the lovely Clarkson – I told her so, just as italicized as I wrote it, by the way – felt there was a true sense of mystery about all four characters.

“I think they are filled with intrigue and that’s what actually gives the movie greater suspense. They are truly multifaceted people. And they are real. You can almost reach out and touch Harry, and yet he’s trying to murder his wife for a very specific reason. It’s so interesting to me.”

There certainly is a sense of pathos to Married Life a grown-up audience will enjoy. The film is an intimate piece; like the relationships it portrays, it isn’t perfect, but it’s worth sticking by it.

On a related note, and this is FYI, natch: Cooper also told me when we met that he had just decided that morning he is next “going to do New York, I Love You with Robin Wright,” while Clarkson’s “gonna work with Scorsese. I’m going to do Shutter Island.”

My Rating ***

Photo: Sony Pictures Classics.

Teasing the Video

This just in: Madonna has a sense of humor.

Like, duh.

I’ve just been told that in her video for “4 Minutes,” which features Justin Timberlake, Madonna rips off his shirt– and then he rips part of her bustier.

How does she come up with this stuff? (Ha!)

I’m also told the video, which was directed by French duo Jonas & François, may be available for purchase, on iTunes, before it debuts on MTV et al. on April 7.

I guess we are still living in a material world, after all. And I love it.

Photo: Osoblog.TV.

Rock the Boat

I’ve allowed a week to pass since the last installment in the completed-before-the-writers-strike batch of eight episodes of Lost, “Meet Kevin Johnson” aired. You know…to process it.

This winter finale – the show comes back on April 24 (now at 10 p.m.) – marked the return of Michael (Harold Perrineau), who was…uh…revealed to be Ben’s “man on the boat.”

It tried to fill in the gaps of what happened to the character since he and his son Walt were allowed to leave the island, and featured not one but two deaths (one very shocking by the way, although the editing was so off I couldn’t help but call it as soon as the first scene was shown).

This episode felt rushed – that’s why I said “tried” – and the only sense of urgency it provoked was the one I now feel for a new, better one.

And that’s the dumbfounding beauty of Lost. It leaves us wanting more, more, more.

Photo: ABC.com.

Meet Snake Eyes

Paramount Pictures has released two photos of Ray “Darth Maul” Park’s character in the upcoming G.I. Joe, Snake Eyes.

“He’s the world’s greatest ninja, but he’s also next-generation,” director Stephen Sommers told USA Today. “He’s not afraid to use a sword one second, and a split-second later he’s pulling out his Glock.

“His chief nemesis is arguably the world’s other great ninja, Storm Shadow. The two grew up together, were blood brothers, and now are mortal enemies.”

G.I. Joe, co-starring Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, and Sienna Miller, opens in August 2009.

Photo: Paramount Pictures.

Let’s Get Political

One of the most beautiful and exciting and talented actresses working today, Elizabeth Banks, is going to the White House.

Banks is close to signing on the dotted line to be the Laura Bush to Josh Brolin’s George W. Bush in W, Oliver Stone’s biopic on the life and presidency of the best POTUS ever. Not!

Production will begin late next month in Louisiana.

Stone has said he plans to make “a fair, true portrait” of Bush, focusing on his relationship with his father, President George H.W. Bush, his wild youth, and his conversion to Christianity.

Banks recently was seen in Definitely, Maybe. Up next is Meet Bill and Kevin Smith’s comedy Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Photo: WireImage.com.

With a Name Like...

In his next film, Meet Bill (a comedy about someone you know), Aaron Eckhart plays the titular role of a man whose life is less than impressive.

Obviously, this is going to be a stretch for this talented tall glass of water.

Anyway, Bill has had it – he’s had it! – with his job and his cheating wife (Elizabeth Banks), so he rather reluctantly accepts to mentor a rebellious teen – and that’s when his own life begins to turn.

The film, which co-stars Jessica Alba, opens in limited release on April 4.

Photo: WorstPreviews.com.

The Day the Music Died

Chapter 27, the long-delayed film about Mark David Chapman, finally opened in limited release last Friday.

The film (the title of which comes from The Catcher in the Rye, which was an obsession of Chapman’s – and ended at chapter 26) has received mixed reviews at best.

It unfolds over the three days in December 1980 when Chapman stood outside the Dakota apartment building in New York, waiting for John Lennon to emerge so he could shoot him, and the friendship he developed with a young fan played by Lindsay Lohan.

Jared Leto, who gained 60 lbs. to play Chapman, is equally praised for his physical commitment to the role as he is criticized for certain choices (like the “annoyingly gimmicky whisper-scream he uses for his interior monologues”).

The kindest thing a review of Chapter 27 I just read said was, believe or not, about Lohan, calling the film “a bittersweet snapshot of a simpler time for the magnetic young actress.”

See – she’s still got it (I just hope she can keep it).

Photo: Peace Arch.

MJB Da MVP

Mary J. Blige and Jay-Z kicked off their anticipated “Heart of the City Tour” at the American Airlines Arena in Miami on Saturday, and I just had to be there.

I needed to be there – I needed it like a heart needs a beat.

And boy if MJB wasn’t the beat, the hope, the passion I needed.

She’s the undisputed Queen of Hip-Hop Soul for a mighty good reason, people: She has a voice that just won’t quit.

Her performance on Saturday was nothing short of amazing. She had on her sparkly opening number, her big sunglasses and oversize hoop earrings, her high-heeled boots – she felt like a woman and she was letting everyone know it.

Complemented by a 22-member band that included a 12-piece string-and-horn ensemble, MJB belted out hit after hit after hit. She didn’t need to change into dazzling costume after dazzling costume or even have a drink of water. Her batteries were charged.

If only she’d done “Smoke” and “Come to Me (Peace),” especially, I’d call her 90-minute set quite perfect.

Yeah, tears formed behind my eyes (but I did not cry) when I realized the night wouldn’t include what has been my favorite song since Christmas – or anything that that entails – but I wasn’t disappointed. Thanks to her, I was at peace.

Jay-Z did great, too, but I’m just not that into him. He’s Jay-Z, and he’s good and fun, with or without special guests Kanye West and Timbaland, but this was MJB’s night.

I made a memory on Saturday – and I never say silly things like “I made a memory.”

Photo: DotSpotter.com.

Update: MJB performed “Come to Me (Peace)” in her episode of VH-1’s Storytellers.

Obviously, the song is an emotional one for her – she had to take a moment during her introduction.

I can only imagine how she would’ve shaken the AAA had she performed it there.

Is Our Show Headed to Broadway or the Silver Screen, Buffy Fans?

The cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer – including star Sarah Michelle Gellar, Nicholas Brendon, Charisma Carpenter, Emma Caulfield, Seth Green, Amber Benson, James Marsters, Michelle Trachtenberg, and the show’s mastermind, Joss Whedon – reunited for the first time since 2004 yesterday at the William S. Paley Television Festival.

So that’s where I should’ve been last night.

Gellar reminisced about being cast on the show – after auditioning 11 times.

“All my friends felt sorry for me because I was on a midseason replacement on a network no one had heard of on a show based on a movie that wasn’t all that,” she said.

For his part, Whedon said he has spent “time daydreaming” about bringing BtVS to the Great White Way someday.

Can I book my ticket now?

He also acknowledged that “so many stars would have to align” in order to pull off a possible BtvS movie. “But,” he added, “I think it would be really cool.”

Photo: SecretUnderseaCity.WordPress.com.

The Perfect-ish Score

The oh-so-studly Jason Statham stars in the based-on-a-true-story heist movie The Bank Job.

I wanted to mention this fact right off the bat because it surprised me how much The Bank Job just was not the typical adrenaline-crazy entry in Statham’s oeuvre I anticipated it to be.

The actor plays Terry, a car dealer with a dodgy past, a wife, and two daughters, who always avoided major-league scams.

Saffron Burrows plays Martine, a beautiful model from his old neighborhood who offers him the lead on a foolproof bank hit on London’s Baker Street.

After mulling it over, Terry recognizes this is the opportunity of a lifetime – Martine just gave him the key to a roomful of safe deposit boxes worth millions in cash and jewelry…how could he refuse, right?

What he and his crew don't realize, however, is that the boxes contain a major mother lode: dirty little secrets that will thrust them into a deadly web of corruption and illicit scandal that spans London’s criminal underworld, countless high-ranking British government officials, and the Royal Family itself.

The Bank Job is the true story of a heist gone wrong...in all the right ways.

It reminds me of The Italian Job (in which Statham also appeared), but the historical context (it is set in the 1970s) gives it another dimension.

The script, I thought, was quite cheeky. I found this a wee bit odd, but in the end the movie worked, although it could have been a few minutes shorter. This one is For Entertainment Only.

My Rating ***

Photo: Lionsgate Films.

Have Your Heard, Buffy Fans?

In May, Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘s Michelle Trachtenberg will sink her teeth into a multi-episode role on The CW’s addictive Gossip Girl.

Trachtenberg will play Georgina Sparks, a character who appears in the novels on which the show is based. She will roll into Manhattan from rehab, shaking up the life of It Girl Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively).

I’m so glad good the writers strike is over and TV has reclaimed the season.

Photo: ImageShack.us.

Meanwhile, Across the Pond…

Iron Man co-star Gwyneth Paltrow showed off her new shorter do during an appearance yesterday at The Prince’s Trust Celebrate Success Awards in London.

And that concludes the most must-have-been-a-busy-day post I ever wrote.

Photo: People.com.

MC=Guilty Pleasure

And now, a confession: I like Mariah Carey.

I know of at least one BFF who just died a little.

The truth is I own a couple of her CDs, and although I’m not going to rush to get her latest, E=MC², when it comes out next month, I wouldn’t mind owning a copy of the super-successful The Emancipation of Mimi.

Her latest single, “Touch My Body,” has proven to be a grower, not a shower. Seeing her perform it on SNL last weekend even made like her version more than the piano-only I found on YouTube, which, by the way, is rather gorge.

So yeah – I’m one of her “lambs.” (That’s what she calls her fans. Cute? Condescending? Discuss.)

You have to admit, Carey has a good set of pipes, and she’s looking infinitely hotter than she has in years.

All those years of jumping into pools (when instead, as Sandra Bernhard put it, she should have been swimming out into the ocean) have paid off.

Photo: HecklerSpray.com.

R.I.P. Talented Mr. Minghella

The filmmaking world has lost one of its best and brightest stars.

Fifty-four-year-old Anthony Minghella, the Oscar-winning British director of films such as The English Patient (which earned him the honor), The Talented Mr. Ripley (co-starring Jude Law, pictured at right with his director), and Cold Mountain, has died.

Details are not yet available.

Minghella’s last completed film is The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, which he shot in Botswana.

According to IMDb.com, he was at work on New York, I Love You, and set to begin work on The Ninth Life of Louis Drax.

Photo: Miramax Films (Cold Mountain).

Missing Patrick Wilson

I very recently got to thinking about Little Children, and consequently, naturally, about the hotness that is Patrick Wilson.

I miss PW. He was so underserved by Evening last year. I trust that’ll change in the next few months.

This fall, Wilson will star in Life in Flight, and in Lakeview Terrace alongside Kerry Washington as an interracial couple targeted by an LAPD officer played by Samuel L. Jackson.

And then next year, he’ll appear in Watchmen, a graphic novel adaptation that’s sure to be a big hit.

Photo: TheCellarDoorBlog.blogspot.com.

Where in Madonna’s World is Guy Ritchie?

With a new album about to debut, Madonna has been stepping out quite a bit lately, but someone has been conspicuously not at her side at recent events like her star-studded benefit for Raising Malawi and UNICEF or her induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

That someone is her husband, Guy Ritchie.

A quick search on WireImage.com revealed the last time Ritchie and the missus where photographed together was back in December (meeting Gwyneth Paltrow for dinner in New York).

Is there trouble in paradise? I hope not. They appear so happy here, don’t you know, don’t you know.

After all, Madonna did say, in I’m Going to Tell You a Secret, that her husband defined true love for her.

“It’s not easy having a good marriage,” she said. “But I don’t want easy.

“Easy doesn’t make you grow. Easy doesn’t make you think.

“I thank God every day that I’m married to a man that makes me think.

“That’s my definition of true love.”

I feel as though Ritchie certainly has made the singer a better woman, so I’d be sort of sad if she were keeping him “Miles Away,” which is, by the way, the name of a Hard Candy song she debuted on Japanese TV over the weekend.

Jeez – talk about a non sequitur.

Photo: MST.24h.com.vn.

Update 1: I’m told – and this is an obvious rumor! – M already may have told her people to think of ways to spin the news of a split, and that she wants to be moved back stateside within the next 18 months.

Update 2: On an somewhat related note, the Queen of Pop’s newest single, “4 Minutes,” debuted officially today.

Update 3: Oh, snap! Liz Rosenberg, Madonna’s publicist, has shut down the rumor, saying, “I am delighted to confirm that Mr. and Mrs. Guy Ritchie remain happily married.”

Good.

But can they please go on a date soon? They’re only going to get busier, and the proof is in the pudding.

Update 4: The Ciccone-Ritchies took my unasked-for advice and went out on a date the day after I suggested it. And now all is well in the world.

Just Because, Pt. 13

Daniel Craig – so, so, so hot! – almost made a splash as Bond, James Bond, when he jumped from a moving boat while filming Quantum of Solace in Panama yesterday.

So, question: Is production still going to Peru or what? Because I will hop on a plane faster than you can say “restraining order.”

The new 007 adventure arrives in theaters on Nov. 7.

Photo: People.com.

Sweet!

The cover for Madonna’s upcoming album, Hard Candy, has been revealed, and I love it.

Uhh…where can I get that belt?

I can’t wait for it to “kick my ass.”

Photo: People.com.