Wear GOOP Now!

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GOOP Label!

Gwyneth Paltrow has launched her first like, apparel collection – an Italian-made “creative collaboration” between the actress-cum-GOOPer extraordinaire/e-commerce boss and a small team of designers inspired by some timeless, essential, and luxurious basis items found in G.P.’s own closet. FYI: The clothes are manufactured at the same factories favored by the leading designer brands and will be delivered at a fraction of their cost. 

GOOP Label will release five timed-to-the-season “elevated” basics every month – September dropped today – and the items of the month will be available first come, first serve until they sell out.

So be sure to keep your eye on GOOP, y’all!

(Friggin’. Genius. No?)

Photo: VanityFair.com.

G.P. the Apps Doyenne

Gwyneth Paltrow’s disruption of the tech world will continue.

First, of course, there was GOOP.

Then came the AOL On series with her BBPF Tracy Anderson.

Now, get ready, for here comes Planet of the Apps.

See, G.P. is going to be featured alongside will.i.am and venture capitalist Gary Vaynerchuk, as a judge on a new Shark Tank-inspired reality show by that title that will be sponsored by Apple and debut next year.

Paltrow more than likely will mine from her own “exhilarating, but intimidating” process to launch and sustain GOOP, “to be part of a series that lets us use our experiences to help app developers break through and create viable businesses that will impact peoples’ lives.”

Go ahead. Hate her for it.

I, for one, just might give this one a try. If anything to lear something new.

Photo: PopSugar.com.

Consciously Divorced at Last

Well look at that: Chris Martin reportedly has signed his divorce-from-Gwyneth Paltrow papers at last.

You will remember, the couple consciously uncoupled around this time two years ago.

Ah shucks. And here I was hoping those two crazy kids would find their way back to each other again.

Hey – I guess that could still happen, right?

Photo: Mirror.co.uk.

Let the Gwyneth Make You (Up)!

Like it or now, Gwyneth Paltrow is becoming an empire.

The actress-cum-GOOPer extraordinaire is launching a new (organic) beauty line, people. Because she knows that you know that you really just wanna look like her, no matter what you tell everybody.

Developed in partnership with Juice Beauty, a California brand, the affordable 78-item debut collection of products will be rich in antioxidants, non-toxic, vegan, and certified bulls--- organic.

What will G.P. take over next? And will she ever act again? In something good, that is.

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

Update: GOOP Skin Care was officially introduced to the world via Vogue.com, on Jan. 20.

Uncoupled Collaborators

The new Coldplay album, A Head Full of Dreams, is already promising to be som’in’ special.

Now, though,frontman Chris Martin has gone and made it even more must-y now that he has revealed that his ex, Gwyneth Paltrow, is going to be on the record!

Indeed, G.P. reportedly will be featured on a song called “Everglow.”

Paltrow does have lots of experience singin’ and singing on other people’s records – she was featured on Sheryl Crow’s “It’s Only Love,” a track from the singer’s C’mon, C’mon record.

Know who else Coldplay are featuring on A Head Full of Dreams? Blue friggin’ Ivy. You know, Beyoncé and Jay Z’s daughter.

’Cause why not, right?

That’s at least two songs that kid’s featured on. Versus our none.

Photo: Idolator.com.

G.P. Starts the Presses

Well she must be doin’ som’in’ right.

Oft-mocked for her GOOPing around, Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle website is getting its own imprint through Grand Central Publishing.

GOOP Press will take on the book market by publishing a tome a year, as well as three others sourced from GOOP editors and contributors, given the wealth of “incredible content now being produced at GOOP.com on a daily basis” and a burning desire to take over the world, really...let’s not front.

Damn, G.P. Show ’em what you’re made of!

GOOP Press’ first offering will be the actress-turned-webtrepreneur’s third cookbook, It’s All Easy: Delicious Weekday Recipes for the Super-Busy Home Cook, which is due out next spring.

Not the holidays?

Guess someone got distracted there for a sec.

Photo: JustJared.com.

Where Is Gwyneth Headed?

Question: Is Marvel done with Gwyneth Paltrow?

Follow-up: Is G.P. done with Marvel, nay...with acting altogether?

I mean, her last vehicle, Mortdecai, was painfully bad, but it wasn’t that terrible that she needs to quit the biz. If anyone should do penance that Johnny Depp should be it.

Paltrow’s IMDb looks remarkably barren when it comes to future projects these days (guess Blood, Bones & Butter fell through?), with only 33 Días, starring Antonio Banderas, coming down the pike. In the Spanish-language film, the Oscar-winning actress and GOOPer extraordinaire will play Pablo Picasso’s muse and lover, French photographer Dora Maar. (The project, btw, spans the period it took the Spanish master to create his famous “Guernica” painting.)

So what gives? Paltrow the businesswoman has completely overtaken Paltrow the thespian? Are we gonna have to think of Pepper Potts always on some business trip somewhere moving forward? Will Rescue ever come?

I need answers.

Photo: MichaelBlanchard.com.

Consciously Divorcing Now

Darn – I was still holding out hope these two would get smartly rejoined and back together or som’in’.

A little more than a year after consciously uncoupling from Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow reportedly has filed for divorce after more than 11 years of marriage.

Evidently, G.P. filed the papers in L.A. a couple of days ago and the news broke yesterday.

What. I just learned the news from my cable provider’s screensaver – you know, the one that comes on when you pause a show.

Photo: PopSugar.com.

The Truth About Charlie Mortdecai

Charlie Mortdecai. He is one of those guys who just sounded so good on paper. However, as the subject of a movie, well...he flat-out suuucks.

Consider the pitch for Mortdecai, the movie based on the Kyril Bonfiglioli character: He’s an anti-hero art dealer on a race against the clock to recover a stolen Goya that’s said to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold.

What sets Lord Mortdecai apart – yes, he has a title to boot – from the lot is he’s a Brit-ccentric bon vivant (his quite elaborate and ridikolous mustache is the proof of it!) with a rather large...tax debt (gotcha!), and he is played by Johnny Depp.

What could possibly go wrong!

Everything, as it turns out.

There is nothing amusing about Mortdecai. The movie – directed by David Koepp, an esteemed popcorn screenwriter who now probably will be encouraged to stick with screenwriting – wears its Ocean’s-esque aspirations on its stylish sleeve. And yet, it fails, spectacularly, to reach the levity or smarts of the George Clooney vehicle, the poor thing.

Mortdecai, as it turns out, is the only person capable enough to recover the painting, which may have caught the attention of an international terrorist ring. And, natch, that of some Russian thugs, although I am not entirely clear on that part (I may have gone sleepy-bye-bye for a bit). The fact that MI5 comes to him for assistance should be, well, OK...you know how Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes is like, this necessary evil to the authorities on his show?

Well, Mortdecai’s more like, a really annoying evil. Should be fun – but he ain’t. At all.

Shame then that Depp proves incredibly tiresome and, worse, beyond-boring as the idiosyncratic character (he’s an amoral horndog...with a heart!). ’Cause if we know anything about the actor that’s that he commits to a role. Even worse, the movie is a thankless affair for his supporting cast, which includes a hammy Gwyneth Paltrow (she plays his posh wife Johanna), Paul Bettany as his devoted manservant, a fellow named Jock Strapp (yes, seriously), Ewan McGregor as the government agent who hands him his mission papers, and Olivia Munn as a nymphomaniac billionairess who has designs of her own on that Goya.

Mortdecai is an entertaining offering by all means, but, in actuality, it’s the opposite. Fingers crossed this will be the last time Depp’s allowed to play an amalgamation of tics passing as a would-be one-of-a-kind persona created for the screen for a while.

And, please, let this be a lesson for my girl G.P. If it’s too good to be true – and again, this did sound kinda foolproof – then, clearly, it could be.

That being said, Gwyn, if someone comes at ya offering you a part in a star-studded remake of an Academy Award-winning Argentinean film, uhm, do not pull out of that, by GOOPness gracious.

My Rating *

Photo: Lionsgate Films.

Beyond the Painting

My girl Gwyneth Paltrow.

Ewan McGregor.

Paul Bettany.

Olivia Munn.

And Jeff Goldblum.

They’re all coming together for Johnny Depp as he launches a potential new franchise next February with Mortdecai, David Keopp’s take on writer Kyril Bonfiglioli’s Charlie Mortdecai series. The movie will follow Depp’s anti-hero art dealer’s race against the clock to recover a stolen painting believed to contain a code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold.

Check out the first teaser for the movie:



Mortdecai will be in theaters on Feb. 6.

Someone Has Some Sort of Secret...

This year’s Cannes Film Festival is on, and news from the Riviera is coming in fast and furious.

Word is Academy Award-nominated Captain Phillips scribe Billy Ray is going to direct Chiwetel Ejiofor and Gwyneth Paltrow in The Secret In Their Eyes, a remake of the 2009 Juan José Campanella Best Foreign Film winner.

The Oscar-nominated star of 12 Years a Slave will play a former MI-5 agent who goes back to Boston – so he’s an American? – on a joint task force – oh...so he is British...and just familiar with Beantown? – with the FBI, and is still all obsessed with an unsolved murder from his past (the resolution of which will make him wish he’d left it all alone).

Imma guess G.P. plays someone who assists him in this quests and is then there to help pick up the pieces.

Photo: Bohomoth.com.

She Keeps Singin’ a Song

Breaking up may be hard to do – but Gwyneth Paltrwow’s gonna make the most out of her every day, no matter what.

Which is why G.P. jumped at the chance to sing back-up for someone named Holly Williams (a pal, I presume – and the granddaughter of legendary country crooner Hank Williams Sr.) when she opened for someone named Jason Isbell a couple of nights ago at the Roxy in L.A.

Further proof that a conscious uncoupling is better for the soul than a nasty divorce.

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

G.P. and Chris Martin Are Done

Man, I hope they can fix this.

Because, as you can like, totally see in the pic at right (taken just this past awards season), they make a cute, absolutely “Magic”-al pairing.

Alas, for now it is true...and it is what it is: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have announced they are going their separate ways.

Because they are planning to – seriously, G.P.? – “consciously uncouple.”

Cue up a bunch of rumors old and new!

The Paltrow-Martins first became an item circa the middle of 2002, and married in December 2003. They have two kids together: Apple, 9, and 7-year-old Moses.

Photo: ElComercio.pe.

Happy G.P.

Gwyneth Paltrow is returning to McKinley High tomorrow night, to help celebrate Glee’s 100th episode.

And the actress is bringing the “Happy” with her when she does.

Yes, G.P. is channeling the Pharrell within her for the special episode, which will feature Chace Crawford and past guest Kristin Chenoweth (pictured here with my girl Gwyn).

Click here to listen to her clap along, yo.

Photo: AllWord-News.co.uk.

Much Ado About Gwyneth

That much-ballyhooed Gwyneth Paltrow takedown piece that Vanity Fair supposedly commissioned like, almost a year ago?

OK…more like, nine months ago.

Anyway, yeah…that – much ado about nothing.

The feature, Graydon Carter writes in the upcoming March issue of the magazine, “was just what had been assigned – a reasoned, reported essay on the hate/love-fest that encircles [the actress]. I thought it perfectly explained the whole phenomenon.

“But it was a far cry from the almost mythical story that people were by now expecting.”

You don’t say, monsieur l’editor. Tell us more!

“[That’s why] I decided to sit on it for a time.”

Oh. Anticlimactic much? And…clever, clever.

Carter chucks up the craziness that surrounded the story, which I am still unclear will see the light of the day, on living and loving – and haterating – in the Age of the Net, for the write-up, he concludes, “had clearly just gotten away from us.”

And turned into heaps of layman-made publicity.

Photo: Bohomoth.com.

Update: Just heard on E! News the story is now shelved.

MK Gets GOOPd Up

And in further Gwyneth-as-conqueror-of-industries news, Gwyneth Paltrow is turning designer.

Well, ish.

And, uh...again. She already does have her Stella McCartney x GOOP thing going on.

G.P. reportedly is working with Michael Kors on a one-off Christmas collection for GOOP that will be inspired by some archived Kors pieces from her own collection, as well as by the designer’s penchant for all things Americana.

“Michael’s clothes are gorgeous, staple, American classics that never go out of style,” Paltrow has said. “I thought it would be wonderful to reinvent some of my favorite vintage Michael Kors looks that I have kept for years, that I wear over and over.”

Thus, the collection will feature items such as capes and pea coats, and some G.P.-selected items from Kors’ main line.

Photo: Vogue.co.uk.

Gwyneth the Theater (Threatre?) Producer

What’s next? Gwyneth the theme park?

My girl Gwyneth Paltrow is on a fix to rule the world – how very her old BFF Madonna.

The girl has a hand in publishing, in lifestyle websites.... There’s, of course, her film career. Her ventures into TV and music, which so far have been Emmy-winning and intriguing, respectively. Oh, and there’s her interest in fitness (promotion).

And now, there’s her blossoming career as a theater producer. (Make that, theatre...since, you know...she probably would).

Yes, G.P. is gunning for Broadway.

The multi-hyphenate is producing a show based on the music of the GoGo’s, alongside Donovan Leitch.

I guess her ambition is not sealed.

Bad puns aside, La Paltrow and Leitch have brought on board Avenue Q’s Jeff Whitty to write the book for the show, which – Twist Alert! – will be set in the 1600s and also based on a surprising source material to be revealed come showtime.

Photo: ICYDK.com.

Get Your Fitness On with G.P. on AOL On

Coming soon, to an AOL On near you...it’s Gwyneth Paltrow and celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson!

OK, G.P. really should simma on her quest toward diversification. Even I have to recognize that she is taking on too much and making it way too easy for people to hate on her.

But La Paltrow will do what La Paltrow wants to do (and way more fabulously than the rest of us). So whaddya gonna do, right?

Anyway, the point is the BBPF (that is, best business partners forever – duh) will be launching a new series on AOL On for our enjoyment and edification.

“We focus on women who have overcome their bodies; women who have gone through really tragic situations with self-medication (over-eating, over-drinking, etc.),” Anderson recently revealed, and one cannot help but infer that the series will lean toward saving helping people. “Some weren’t supposed to survive [their trials and tribulations], but they all learned to connect with their bodies.

“When you do that, all these things happen.”

I presume Anderson’s referring to positive changes in one’s life....

Guess we shall find out soon enough. Stay tuned.

Photo: LuckyMag.com.

Stella GOOPs It Up

Gwyneth Paltrow and Stella McCartney are doing it.

No, the BFF haven’t decided that, after years of friendship, they should leave their husbands and take it to the next level like that.

But they are working together.

So the duo has launched Stella McCartney x GOOP, “a very mini capsule collection” of “timeless” black-and-white fashion staples – like trousers, handbags and blazers – that start at $795 (it’s all about making an investment, according to the pair).

You’d think jumping on the GOOP bandwagon woulda been a no-brainer for McCartney, but the way G.P. puts it, she had to really talk the designer into it.

“[Stella] never had done a collaboration like this,” Paltrow told Women’s Wear Daily, “until I strong-armed her.”

And fashionistas thank you, girl.

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

Hate on G.P. (If You Must)

Alright, haters – what do you have to say about Gwyneth Paltrow’s hot bikini bod?

'Cause I know the much-vilified Empress of GOOP must be rubbing you the wrong way in her Stella McCartney swimwear and hella fresh face.

Photo: UsMagazine.com.