Simply Irresistible, Pt. 93

Jennifer Lopez took Miami last night.

Nah. J. Lo killed Miami last night, as the headliner of the second night of the iHeartRadio Ultimate Pool Party at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach.

And Miami loved it. ’Cause that was the hotness right there.

Check it:



Man, I would have luh-ved to have been able to be there. I woulda shaken it with that hot mami.

Who Turned On the Heat!

And LeBron James closes the triangle.

The NBA superstar is coming to Miami from Cleveland to join staying-put Dwyane Wade (pictured at right, on the right) and Chris Bosh (on the left), who’s coming to the Magic City from...somewhere, on the Miami Heat roster because the team represented the “best opportunity for me to win.”

Everyone is excited about the news, and I do mean everyone, from Jack and Jane on the street to Jeff Soffer, the owner of the Fontainebleau Miami Beach to Diddy.

Photo: Cleveland.com.

Ultra M

Tonight was the night: As rumored all weekend – and for a change – Madonna turned up at a Miami event, just randomly like that.

The Magic City was abuzz with the pesky rumor that spreads around town like fire every time there there’s something major going on (be it a fashion week of any sort, festival, or like, a shoot/concert/opening of an anything by anyone remotely connected to her), so, obviously, my antenna was perked...with skepticism.

Friday night, for instance, M was “supposed” to show up at the Delano Hotel for the official MDNA part at which DJ Tracy Young was spinning.

Nada. (Duh, she had her Jewish obligations to tend to first, suckers).

Saturday night was different, though.

Avicii was to bring her out on stage at the Ultra Music Festival for a special little something.

The rumor got stronger and stronger as the night grew dark. When Madonna.com put out a news alert, letting fans know they should check out UMFTV, I accepted there was some truth to the rumor, and that I just would not be there (I do not enjoy the big crowds like that ones that make Ultra what it is...and at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach watching Tony Bennett perform with Queen Latifah at the Blacks’ Gala.

And then, there was the Queen of Pop. Not brought out middle of Avicii’s performance but at the top of it, to bring him out and dance to her his remix of “Girl Gone Wild.”

“Hello everybody,” she said “I finally made it to the Ultra Music Festival!”

Just another reason why M is the coolest woman in the world. And why a rumor, especially one about her regalness in Miami, can surprise and be more than just wishful thinking aloud and overreaching PRing.

Now That’s What I Call Method

Joaquin Phoenix got into a fight last night – and we liked it.

Scraggles, as I’m dubbing him, was “performing” (or something like it) his first of three songs at LIV at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach, when he felt someone in the audience was heckling him.

“Bitch!” he yelled into the mic. “This a $3,000 f---ing suit!”

And then he dove into the crowd, looking to give someone a bruising. Security rushed in after him, natch, and here’s the kicker: his brother-in-law Casey Affleck documented the whole thing on film.

Affleck, of course, is making a documentary about Phoenix’s bizarre career leap from acting to rapping, which lends credence to the notion that Phoenix is pulling a fast one on us and this unkempt-looking, being-difficult-with-Letterman thing he’s doing is nothing but Method acting at its most dedicated and entertaining. Or, again, something like it.

Update: I almost forgot to share with the rest of the class that Scraggles met up with Willem Dafoe at the club.

MC Phoenix and Dafoe (who was in town for the Miami International Film Festival) met up in one of LIV’s skyboxes. The two chatted and laughed for a few minutes, while Affleck documented their interaction.

And, of course, Phoenix stayed in character the entire time, which I bet was rather fascinating to Dafoe. Sure was fun to watch.

The Song of 2012

In case the world does come to an end tomorrow, I thought I’d push up the date of one of my end-of-year traditions, and share what I think is the song of the year.

That would be – drumroll, please – PSY’s “Gangnam Style.”

Nah, this isn’t about straight-out earworms but about songs: It’s Maroon 5’s “Payphone.”

Featuring Whiz Khalifa, this was the lead quite-catchy single off the band’s Overexposed album, which, although buoyed by Adam Levine’s on-the-rise Q rating thanks to TV’s The Voice, critics pretty much dismissed.

No matter ’cause it’s shaping up to be quite the crowd-pleaser. Their latest single, “Daylight,” for instance, hit such a chord earlier this month when I was packing my bags to leave Miami....

But I digress.

“Payphone” is classic Maroon 5. Levine’s channels enough heartbreak and, yeah, why not, rage to make you believe what he’s singing. It bridges pop and rock. And it is a sensitive F you. But this song is also an ode to a love lost, to a careless lover, to the plans that won’t be, to a loss of innocence. It can come off as a bit jaded, but that’s kinda what happens, no?

If anything, it is one of the most honest, saddest pop songs sung by a dude I’ve heard in a long time. It’s matter-of-fact as one of Justin Timberlake’s best because Levine’s voice doesn’t allow for that. It feels thoroughly lived in.

Check out this performance of “Payphone” at last summer’s iHeartRadio Ultimate Pool Party at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach:

I was there, and that’s when I knew this was not only the song of the summer – sorry, “Call Me Maybe” – but the song of 2012.

Speaking of Sexy…

Robin Thicke has released the video for “The Sweetest Love,” one of my favorite tracks off his latest, Something Else.

Boyfriend may have snubbed me at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach last weekend, but I still XOXO him.

Check it out:

Stake Through the Heart

Last night I went back to the Fontainebleau Miami Beach to work the press line at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, which, btw, was spectacular.

Out on the pink carpet I interviewed Michelle Trachtenberg, a.k.a. Dawn on TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Here’s what she had to say when I asked her if there was any truth to the rumor of a possible BtVS movie.

“Oh, no, I don’t think so,” Trachtenberg said. “I’ve not heard that before. I think that would require everyone signing back up and I don’t think that they, that the powers that be have those powers.”

It makes sense: the show’s creator, Joss Whedon, is busy with the upcoming Dollhouse on Fox, which stars Eliza Dushku, a.k.a. rogue slayer Faith; its star, Sarah Michelle Gellar, is busy developing The Wonderful Maladys for HBO; and Alyson Hannigan, a.k.a. Willow, is pregnant and making audiences laugh over at TV’s How I Met Your Mother.

But, I had to press, would Trachtenberg up for the movie?

“Mmm, you know, Buffy was an amazing experience, but it was three years of my life when I was younger, and I think I did [Dawn] justice. I think now I’m looking for different things.”

Well, speaking of just that, would she reprise her role as Georgina on TV’s Gossip Girl?

“I don’t know. If they think of a fantastic way to bring Georgina back I may just say yes.”

Going back to the Whedonverse, I asked if she was looking forward to Dollhouse, which caught Trachtenberg by surprise.

“Dollhouse?” she asked.

“Yeah, the new Joss Whedon show,” I said.

“Oh, I didn’t know about it.”

“Will you watch it so it doesn’t get cancelled [given its crappy time slot]?”

“Don’t say that from the beginning! That’s bad show karma. I’ll definitely check it out.”

Well, good – we got one more viewer in the bag.

Photo: Whedon.info.

Update 1: John Stamos also walked the pink carpet on Saturday night. If you just need to know what he said when I asked him if he was happy for his ex-wife Rebecca Romijn, who’s expecting twins this winter, then click here.

Update 2: In case you were wondering, Brody Jenner also made it to the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and he spilled the beans on Lauren Conrad’s new boyfriend, Kyle Howard (TBS’ My Boys).

The Great Return of Joaquin! Joaquin! Joaquin!

The long-expected documentary that Casey Affleck was working on under the radar (ish), the one chronicling his brother-in-law Joaquin Phoenix’s so-called career leap from acting to rapping, I’m Still Here, is ready to be judged.

Check out the intriguing teaser here.

Looks like we’ll see Phoenix’s infamous beyond-bizarre visit with David Letterman and his “performance” at LIV at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach last year, which I witnessed and earned him the nickname Scraggles from yours truly, among much more, including, reportedly, drugs, excess, and a new brand of oblivion.

I’m Still Here will be released on Sept. 10.

Photo: FilmJunk.com.

Model Behavior

So last weekend, after the Victoria’s Secret fashion show at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach, I’m sitting at the Blue Bar inside the hotel when I turn around and spot runway stunners Carmen Kass (pictured at right) and Isabeli Fontana.

I saw Kass head to the bar from her table, so I pulled it together and walked over to tell her I thought she was hot in the show.

She’s a model! They’re supposed to like that kind of thing!

So I was like, “You were great…not in it enough…you have the best walk….”

And she just looks at me, Estonian cold in her eyes.

So I even though I recognized this I continued, “I’d toast you [Kass had a drink in her hand], but I left my drink at my table – and I’d challenge you to a game of chess since I understand you’re like, a chess champion.”

The Blue Bar got even colder. I felt like I was in my lingerie.

Finally, she said, “Why do you say that? You’ve been reading too much of that Internet bulls---.”

I could only offer a shocked “Not at all. I saw you say so on Fashion File or something. But if it’s not true, then you have to agree that you have the best walk in the business, the best crisscross.”

“That I can agree with,” she said bitchingly.

And that’s how Carmen Kass chewed me out.

Who says supermodels don’t eat!

Photo: MonstersAndCritics.com.

Christian Siriano Told Me…

Over the weekend, before the Victoria’s Secret fashion show at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach, I ran into Project Runway MVP Christian Siriano, who told me he and his boyfriend are “dying” now that Prop 8 has passed in California – because they want to get married!

Click here to read more about what Tranny Siriano told moi.

Photo: PopSugar.com.

Oh, Robert

In spite of whatever Brooke Shields says, her yummy co-star Robert Buckley confirmed it to me at the grand opening of the Fontainebleau Miami Beach that Lipstick Jungle has been cancelled – you’re just going to have to take my word for it.

Today, though, this clip made its way to the Web as a rather cheap ploy to promote the show:



Someone let the NBC dramedy die with some dignity, already.

But save Pushing Daisies. And Eli Stone. And Dirty Sexy Money!

OMGwyneth!

I went to the grand opening of the Fontainebleau Miami Beach last night and I met Gwyneth Paltrow!

I know – big exclamation point.

At first I was tickled to get in some questions on the white carpet. Her presence at the event reinforced the rumor that Madonna would be making a surprise appearance, so I was dying.

But then, as I looked for the somewhat-secret location within the hotel, where the “global icon” that would be performing for guests for the night (it turned out to be Mariah frakkin’ Carey) would be, I came across Gwyneth.

Oh yeah, we’re on a first-name basis now…I’d like to think.

I couldn’t resist and followed her outside to the valet station, where she went to wait for her car. She had a bodyguard with her, so I couldn’t hug her (even though we both knew I wanted to), so I sheepishly (not!) offered her a pen and asked her to sign a piece of paper.

And then I made Gwyneth beam.

She simply lit up when I told her that she was right, that Coldplay’s Viva La Vida is, indeed, quite “brilliant.”

“I know, right?” she said. “Do you like it.”

“Oh yeah. I just saw them last week. They were phenomenal!”

Then she smiled again, but this time it was different. I had made an obvious difference in that moment, a moment that otherwise would have been spent in likely silence with her assigned escort for the evening.

And off we went, Gwyneth to, I don’t know, get some rest, and I to find out via her autograph that she thought of me “with love.”

This!

One of the other celebrities I spotted and/or interviewed last night was the phenomenal Becki Newton (TV’s Ugly Betty).

Next to Madonna – had she shown up – Newton was my other get for the night. Just because.

Once I saw her come down the white carpet, with her stud of a husband Chris Diamantopoulos (USA Network’s The Starter Wife), I just knew I had to let her know I was there.

And boy did she ever.

Although she didn’t stop to talk to print media, I yelled out her name, she stopped, and in a very Amanda (her character on the show) fashion I said, “This…[signaling with all five fingers toward her Marc Jacobs dress] doesn’t bore me!”

Newton’s response?

“This…[signaling back at me] doesn’t bore me, either!”

I could have died.

Photo: Newsgab.com.

Update: Kim and Kourtney Kardashian also were at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach grand opening, and you better believe I talked to them, too.