In Her Wildest Dreams

And now, for a film that will not be winning any MTV Movie Awards any time soon....

Say hello to Hello, My Name Is Doris, the latest entry in the older-woman-having-a-little-fun genre.

The film, a Michael Showalter comedic drama centering on an older woman who starts anew (with a younger man) after her mother dies, stars two-time Oscar winner Sally Field and that cutie-patootie, Max Greenfield – so I am there, you know. So there.

Check out the trailer for the film – which I hope will not have a sad twist to it (Field’s Doris is a bit of an eccentric and, perhaps, just a little stunted) – and save the date for March 11.

Because that’s when we meet Doris!

Photo: MovieInsider.com.

Hotel Maxd!

Holiday time is over: Time to talk Max Greenfield.

The New Girl’s cutie-patootie friend has booked a room for the American Horror Story: Hotel this fall!

Ryan Murphy confirmed as much when he tweeted that the actor will be on the show, “like you’ve never seen him.”

So...ahem...in the buff?

American Horror Story: Hotel will debut in October.

Photo: Zimbio.com.

The Younger Man with All the Answers

That cutie-patootie Max Greenfield – who is giving us a break from his TV New Girl shtick for a bit this summer so we can see him see how They Came Together on the big screen – is gonna do it again.

He is gonna be in another movie soon, that is.

Greenfield has signed on to reunite with his They Came Together director, Michael Showalter (one of the writers of the 2001 comedy Wet Hot American Summer), in Hello My Name Is Doris, a comedic drama centering on an older woman who starts anew (with a younger man) after her mother dies.

Greenfield comes into her life and kinda sorta starts to change it, in a way.

Nice! (I would let him do that, too, btw.)

Photo: GettyImages.com.

Forever a Spy Girl

Veronica Mars cusses now.

Yeah, girlfriend is all grown up. And on the big screen.

The Veronica Mars movie arrived in theaters last week, much to the delight of fans of the Kristen Bell-led 2004-2007 Rob Thomas-created UPN CW show.

I, unfortch, had to settle for watching it on my laptop, for my friendly neighborhood Regal Cinema is not an AMC Theater, which evidently got the exclusive right to show the darn thing.

That, I am saddened to say, only added to the dullness of the movie.

Yes, Veronica Mars is dull in feature length. Or, rather, her trademark spunkiness, the thing that set the Neptune, Calif., high school detective apart from her brethren of small-screen heroine-sisters, has been dulled.

By the time that has transpired since we last saw her. By age, too, perhaps. Definitely by a downer of a metaphor to addiction (nine years after leaving Neptune and literally on the eve of becoming a big-time New York City lawyer, Veronica Mars can’t quite quit Neptune’s call, and like a good junkie...as she literally says in the movie...she’s gotta answer that call when her old bad-boy-bf Logan, played by Jason Dohring, rings her up asking for help in beating a murder rap).

Veronica Mars the TV show worked as effective escapist fun on the tube because her adventures often were larger than life. And because it – in spite of its challenges with mass viewership – had a consistent budget that afforded it certain liberties that its Kickstarter-funded movie incarnation lacks. Like a peppier, poppier score to level the silly stakes Veronica Mars the character had to face.

Feel free to go down memory lane with Thomas, Bell & Co., including fan favorites Tina Majorino, Max Greenfrield, and Krysten Ritter, and, of course, Enrico Colantoni, who is back as Papa Mars – but don’t expect the movie to live up to your memories. A long time ago is a long time ago for a reason. And while it was swell to see Ms. Mars make her way back to us, her homecoming is bittersweet.

Which, now that I think about it, was always gonna be given the expectations, and the fact that Thomas decided to go with the worst metaphor on Earth for it.

My Rating **

Photo: Warner Bros.

With an Assist from Deputy Leo

The long-awaited Veronica Mars movie is already in the works, thanks to the fans, and many a familiar face is on board.

Aside from the mastermind behind the character, Rob Thomas, and his star and the project’s biggest cheerleader, Kristen Bell, the movie will feature original cast members from the TV show, including Jason Dohring, Enrico Colantoni. Percy Daggs III, Chris Lowell, Tina Majorino (TV’s Grey’s Anatomy), Krysten Ritter, and, now, Max Greenfield.

Yes, the New Girl MVP will reprise his role as one of Veronica’s onetime potential squeezes, fan favorite Deputy Leo.

Heck ya!

Photo: GQ.com.

Just Because, Pt. 88

Isn’t Max Greenfield just the cutest thing?

My, yes, he is. Gwyneth thinks so, and so do I, even though I don’t really watch his TV show, New Girl.

Anyway, there the actor was last week, looking all sporty and s--- when he taught a for-charity SoulCycle sping class in West Hollywood last week.

Raise your hand if Greenfield ain’t the kind of guy you just want to take home to mom and dad.

Now put your hand down – you’re doing as a blog says, you randy beeyotch.

Photo: People.com.

Indeed, the Time Is Right Now

I know, I know – having celebs tell us what to do is as much fun as getting elephant poop slung our way, but this time, the rich and famous have a point: It has been enough.

Last week’s shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut was a new low in America’s struggle to get its s--- together and come up with a plan for better gun control.

I call it a struggle because, obviously, some people understand that, while guns may not kill people (people kill people), it doesn’t mean guns should be readily available because it’s a right to bear them. We gotta ensure the right people get access to guns.

The latest shooter was a 20-year-old with a reported history of mental problems (which is its own issue, one that needs to be addressed ASAP). That kid needed to be around guns as much as those children and adults he shot needed to have their lives cut short. Not at all!

The Sandy Hook incident was an all-around tragedy and a travesty, and it is enough.

I hope all Americans, even the pro-guns-everwhere folks, realized that in the wake of this sad chapter, and are finally ready to take a look at what needs to be done.

If bearing arms must be a right, then it had better be a regulated one.

That’s all Beyoncé, Jon Hamm, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jason Bateman, Peter Dinklage, Julianne Moore, Amy Poehler, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Aniston, and Chris Rock, among countless others, are demanding.

So demand a plan, too. It is time for that gross NRA mentality to stop its pervasive influence.

Chan the Sexy

People has gone and done it again: The magazine has picked the wrong guy to be its Sexiest Man Alive for the second year in a row.

Sorry, Bradley Cooper – you are a looker and I hearted you in Silver Linings Playbook (stay tuned, y’all), but it shoulda been Ryan Gosling last year....

Anyway, 12 months later after that one, it’s time to objectify...Channing Tatum?

Yup, the mastermind behind Magic Mike was crowned an official sex symbol by the weekly this morning. Which means that, yet a-f---in’-gain, Daniel Craig has been snubbed. (Seriously, who does the Skyfall star need to shag to be picked, already?)

Look, I’ve sat thisclose to Tatum and I think he’s a cutie and a half, but he’s a guy not a man (Craig is a man).

KnowhatImean?

At the end of the day, the choices – which also include Chris Hemsworth (yeah!), Max Greenfield (TV’s New Girl), Matt Bomer, and Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius (oof!) – have been made, and I will get behind them, but I will respectfully disagree with some of ’em.

It is, after all, my sexy prerogative.

Photo: People.com.

Dude, This Is How Rumors Get Started

Looks like Gwyneth Paltrow has a new BFF, and his name is Max Greenfield.

The Emmy-nominated New Girl scene-stealer – who already has a guest-editor-of-GOOP stint to his credit – likes G.P.’s site so much he’s already prepping a second GOOP feature following his road to next month’s awards show.

Evidently, the guy o.k.a. Schmidt thinks GOOP is “fun,” and while he and Paltrow have only met via email, it seems he has a fan in her, too.

He’s “the kind of guy you lusted after at your cousin’s Bar Mitzvah,” she said when she introduced his first piece for the site.

Mmm...what a cute little platonic relationship. I guess if Chris Martin is cool with it, we can all be cool with it, yes?

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

Coming Max

That cutie-patootie recent GOOP guest editor known as Max Greenfield – a.k.a. Schmidt from TV’s New Girl – is sooo ready for his big-screen close-up.

The actor is joining Paul Rudd and Amy Poehler in the new Dave Wain-directed comedy They Came Together.

Greenfield will play the ne’er-do-well brother of Rudd’s character.

Make that the adorable ne’er-do-well brother of Rudd’s character.

Photo: CNN.com.