Return to Sender

Following shows in Southern California and Las Vegas, Britney Spears brought…something back to Florida, where she performed a fifth and sixth show, under the moniker the M+M’s, in Orlando and Miami, respectively.

Last night’s, at South Beach’s Mansion, was everything I thought it would be: sad and unfulfilling, yet totally intriguing.

Billed for 8 p.m., the erstwhile pop princess hit the stage at 10:35 p.m. surrounded by toned dancers that picked up where she left off. And did she ever leave off.

Wearing many a trashy outfit – honey, this DIY attitude has got to go; get a stylist! – Spears ran off stage during her second song, “I’m a Slave 4 U,” after her beaded bra came undone and entangled in her mic pack. She tried to sexily strip it off, which didn’t work, and looked genuinely embarrassed by the snafu, but didn’t go on, running back mid-song. Tsk, tsk.

Spears appeared happy to be in Miami, though. She kicked things off with an effusive “What’s up, Miami!” and proceeded to…not sing her little country heart out.

Her mic kept riding off up and down her face, pulled in all directions by her wig, but she soldiered on and kept miming the words. She didn’t chew any during her performance; I wondered if she’d run out.

She looked fine, I guess. I never saw her at her peak (fitness- or performance-wise). She has a little bit of a spare tire going on, but it’s a taut spare tire, and she’s trying, so she gets brownie points for effort.

For her finale, 15 minutes later, she performed "Toxic," (the linked video is not from the Florida shows), and capped the night off with a nice shout-out.

“Miami, you guys rock. I love you so much!” she shouted before running off stage. If only she’d added a nice little “y’all” at the end of that sentence, that would’ve been quite something. Unfortunately, she isn’t anymore.

Photo: ucfk.org.