The Phantom Menace

Eva Longoria Parker told me last month that she was interested in starring in Over Her Dead Body because she loved the idea of playing a ghost.

“I thought it would be really fun,” she said. “When I read the script I thought [my character] was just fun.”

I cannot help but wonder if she was using the word “fun” loosely because this movie is anything but – it’s the opposite of it.

Longoria Parker plays Kate, a bridezilla who on her wedding date is crushed by the ice sculpture of an angel, leaving her fiancé Henry (Paul Rudd) behind.

One year later, he reluctantly agrees to consult a psychic/caterer (‘cause, you know, being a slash sort of girl makes her quirky and just what he needs) named Ashley (Lake Bell), and of course, he begins to fall for her.

But Kate, unable to move on, isn’t having any of this, and decides to haunt her until she forces her to break up with him.

To play Kate, Longoria Parker didn’t have to strain her acting muscles much. Ever seen TV’s Desperate Housewives? Kate’s Bree-meets-Gaby.

“I hadn’t thought of that, but I’d say Kate’s more like Bree than Gaby,” she said. “My biggest challenge was differentiating Gaby from Kate. Gaby is a little more self-absorbed and self-centered and materialistic, whereas Kate really thinks she’s doing the right thing to protect Henry. Her bitchiness is way more justified than Gaby’s ever will be.”

Alright – but what I want to know is what’s the excuse for wasting such great comedic chops in such a terrible movie?

I mean, for a romantic comedy Over Her Dead Body is neither nor. Its biggest laughs come halfway through…and there are fart sounds involved. Enough said.

The best things Over Her Dead Body’s got going for it are Longoria Parker’s gift for physical comedy, Rudd’s charm (which he loses along the way, as if he’s realizing this is no good), and the end…because it’s over.

Here’s to hoping Longoria Parker will get her dream project off the ground sometime soon, and that she’ll make up for this awful choice.

My Rating *1/2

Photo: New Line Cinema.