Grind It Good

Alright – clearly there’s plenty wrong in the world.

There’s a senseless war going on, there’s tragedy and nastiness everywhere.

Some people might not want to spend more than three hours in a movie theater watching T&A and violent scenes…not even if directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino had a hand at creating not one but two full-length movies in a new horror double feature called Grindhouse for their entertainment.

But then again, whatever it was that turned audiences away and made Grindhouse a disappointment at the box office…whatever it was, it is everywhere. So what gives?

Why would you, person who has yet to see Grindhouse, eschew this original and out there and entertaining offering in favor of…in favor of the real world. Why wouldn’t you want to escape into an absurd world of zombies, one-legged strippers, and speed-crazed mass murderers?

At least you’d know they aren’t real.

But hey, I get it. This film is a tough sell: Its cast isn’t that much of a draw; its length is a challenge; its subject matter not much of a turn-on – all of which is precisely the point and the beauty of it. But a tough sell is a tough sell, and unfortunately some of you aren’t buyin’.

In Rodriguez's Planet Terror, two doctors (Josh Brolin and Marley Shelton) find their graveyard shift inundated with townspeople ravaged by sores. Among the wounded is Cherry (Rose McGowan), a dancer whose leg was ripped from her body. As the invalids quickly become enraged aggressors (zombies!), Cherry and her ex-boyfriend Wray (Freddy Rodriguez) lead a team of accidental warriors into the night.

In Tarantino's Death Proof, Austin's hottest DJ, Jungle Julia (Sydney Poitier), sets out to unwind with her two friends, Shanna (Jordan Ladd) and Arlene (Vanessa Ferlito). Covertly tracking their moves is Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell, in full ominous mode), a scarred rebel leering from behind the wheel of his muscle car, revving just feet away.

Planet Terror is the most effectively grindhouse-y of the two movies: It tries to be bad, and it has this camp quality to it that makes it completely amusing. You’ll be hard-pressed to think this truly was a loser, though.

Death Proof, meanwhile, is the talkiest of the two – and that’s a good thing. Where Planet Terror was a constant assault of the senses, Death Proof was a little more conventional…a little less gorror (that’s gore and horror, by the way)...a little more cerebral. And I cannot – and will not – say anything about the final car chase, mostly because you have to see it to believe and enjoy it.

So there you have it. Don’t wait for Grindhouse to come to a video store next you. Don’t buy the largest soda in the theater, sit back, and try to have a good time. It’ll be well worth it.

Go….get it, too.

My Rating ****

Photo: Dimension Films.