Friday, May 16, 2014

Family Forward

You know he elevator fight seen ’round the world?

It is so over.

Beyoncé, Jay Z, and Solange Knowles finally addressed the May 5 post-Met Gala fistfight and kick fest the younger Knowles sistah got into with Mr. Z at The Standard Hotel in New York City yesterday, when they put out a carefully crafted statement that was vague on explanation but rich in reassurance.

As a result of the public release of the elevator security footage [we’ve all seen], there has been a great deal of speculation about what triggered the unfortunate incident,” the trio said. “But the most important thing is that our family has worked through it.

“Jay and Solange each assume[s] their share of responsibility. They both have apologized to each other. We have moved forward as a united family, they added, not without stating that S. Knowles was definitely not like, drunk or anything earlier that night, OKRRR.

The statement concluded, “At the end of the day[,] families have problems and we’re no different.

Just hella rich! (Sorry...I had to.)


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